* * *

Hesitantly leaving the Beta after helping him dress his wounds Lan sighed closing the door behind him. He didn’t know why he even agreed to go and talk to Elven when he wasn’t even ready… but then again, looking at Reese. He felt like he didn't want to disappoint him and before he knew it he nodded and promised he would go. 

“. . .” Walking down the stairs, contemplating whether to really go ahead and meet Elven or just wait a little bit before going back, he suddenly froze when he saw the Omega he had been crushing on since he was eight at the lobby seemingly waiting for someone. Lan didn’t want to approach him at first but as soon as Elven saw him, he stood up in relief before rushing towards the Alpha.

“I was hoping you’d come out and you did. I’m glad I stayed behind…” Elven smiled sweetly which quickly captivated Lan despite feeling bitter.

“I came because Reese told me…” Lan sighed. On the other hand, when he heard Reese’s name, Elven chuckled, making the Alpha confused.

“You never listen to anyone, especially when you just met them. I'm glad you’re finally getting along with Reese… I guess I should thank him later,” Elven said, genuinely happy for the Alpha because when he first asked Lan to make friends with Reese, he was really against it only to actually do it. He’s even showing such expressions that he had never seen before. He has hung out a lot with the Alpha since they were young but he had never been that excited to talk about something with someone even with him before and that made him happy.

Although it’s a bit awkward now between them because of the confession, he’s glad that the Alpha wasn’t alone. He’s happy that he had someone he  can open himself into because he could no longer do so. Of course, Elven is hoping that their friendship would remain but if Lan doesn’t want to, then he won’t force himself.

“. . .So what do you want to talk about?” Lan decided to ask first even though he knew exactly what they needed to talk about. He wasn't ready to accept the fact yet but he thought Reese was right, he’d only be prolonging his agony anyway if he continues to drag this on. He has been rejected. He has to move on or he’ll never find his happiness.

“Well… I know I said I needed some space and I’m glad that you gave it to me but… I’m selfish… Lan… I can’t return the feelings that you have for me but I still wanna be friends. You have been my best friend since 8 and I don’t want to ruin that. If you’re still willing to stay friends, I’m okay with that. But… I would also understand if you don’t… I just… I love you as a friend and it breaks my heart when you avoid me like this even when I call you…” Elven said. His decision was still the same. Lan is a good guy but for him, he is more like a brother than a potential partner. However, he doesn’t want to lose him. The Alpha has been a part of his life since he was young and he knew it was the same for Lan as well so it breaks his heart that because of the confession, it’s all crumbling. 

Elven wanted everything to stay the same where he and Lan hung out, laugh or get angry at the same time. Yes, he is selfish. He knows the Alpha needed to move on but at the same time, afraid that if he did. All this would change. He was afraid to find out that once the Alpha move on, he’ll know that all of their memories, all the treatment he had received wasn’t because of friendship like he did and only because Lan one day assumed they would end up with each other. It breaks his heart but he’s so used to him that he knew everything wouldn’t have felt the same without the Alpha.

“*sigh* I understand…”

“You understand what?” Elven asked in confusion but hopeful. He knew it sounded cruel but he wished none of this would have happened. If Lan never confessed, everything would have stayed the way it was.

“I want to stay friends with you. That never changed… But I need to move on and I can’t do that beside you, Elven. I won’t avoid you from now on but I can’t treat you the same as before…” Lan explained despite the pain he’s feeling around his chest. He knew this was it, he needed this to completely stop himself from hoping. Although it hurts, he was glad. Thankfully, it ended before it got worse.

“I understand… b-but do we still get to hang out? I miss you…” Elven mentioned which quickly froze Lan before sighing in frustration. He neared Elven and reached out to mess with his soft blonde hair. 

“If you want me to move on… You shouldn’t say something like you miss me… I’m doing my best here,” Lan sighed before forcing out a smile.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay. Anyway, you should go now. Let’s talk tomorrow… I should be going now as well,” Lan said, pulling his hand away thinking this was probably the last he’d let himself slip away with his feelings.

“Okay,” Elven replied with a pout. When Lan excused himself and went ahead wanting to remove himself at the area as soon as possible, Elven felt hurt to think that from now on, the Alpha would no longer treat him like he used to. Walking outside of the building, for the first time, Elven got back to his dorm without Lan when he used to worry about him walking alone even though they’re inside the campus and security was well monitored.

* * *

“Oh, you got back right away,” Slumping down the couch as soon as he walked in the dorm room, Reese quickly halted from washing the dishes he used in cooking and went ahead to approach the Alpha. Lan looked exhausted so he was worried something had happened. 

“Are you okay…ah…” Reese asked in worry before he squealed in surprise, having Lan suddenly pull his torso and hug him as he continued to sit. Reese was dumbfounded at the sudden action looking at the Alpha burying his face against his stomach, he wanted to pull away feeling embarrassed but he couldn’t really do it when his friend obviously needed a hug.

“What happened?” He asked again, blushing but this time he patted Lan’s back hoping that it would soothe him somehow.

“I’ve talked to Elven…” Lan whispered while Reese nodded urging the Alpha to continue. “We decided to stay friends…” Lan added, his voice trembling as his hug tightened. On the other hand, when Reese heard him, he didn’t know what to do to comfort his friend aside from continually patting his hair and letting him hug him for as long as he wanted.

“I know you’re hurting right now Lan but I know you can get through this,” Reese managed to say. He had been heartbroken before as well and he knew this kind of pain was something that needed time to heal. It might be difficult for Lan as he had been in love with Reese for a long time compared to him but he knows the Alpha can get through this. In fact, he’s already doing so well.

“I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to,” Reese added, sighing helplessly. Fortunately, after long minutes of being in the same position, Lan finally decided it was time to let go as he secretly wiped his eyes in embarrassment. To be honest, he doesn’t even know why he’s so comfortable towards Reese. Was it because Reese doesn’t look at him like others do and it made him lose his guard or was it because the Beta was the first person he had become friends with aside from Elven but he was really glad he was here beside him. He would not have known what to do without him.

“Sorry… Thank you… I wouldn’t have known what to do without you, Reese. I’m so glad you became my roommate,” perhaps it’s because Reese was so easy to get along with and he doesn’t even complain when he does something like this, it hasn’t even been a while since they’ve become friends. But Reese just being here beside him was enough. It helped him quite a lot because there was no way he would tell this to one of his cousins or to his family.

“It’s fine… I understand what you’re going through,” Reese smiled helplessly, finally being released from the tight hug as he took a step back. The Alpha’s heartbroken so he shouldn’t be thinking of something inappropriate. It hasn’t been a while but he could tell Lan is an affectionate guy and skinship is something he’s used to doing. That's why he shouldn’t think of something different. Still, one day he’d have to tell the Alpha to stop it.

“Anyway, should we eat dinner? I’ve made the one you liked,” Reese asked, quickly diverting the conversation.

“I… I no longer have an appetite but thank you…” Lan replied with a smile, his voice sounding depressed causing Reese once again sighed helplessly as he quickly held Lan’s arm and pulled him. Reese was rather small and Lan obviously towered over him but he still managed to pull the Alpha towards the dining table.

“I know it’ll be insensitive of me to tell you to not be sad so I won’t. If you want to drink your pain away, I’ll drink with you. If you want to cry, I’m willing to lend you my shoulders. But you’re not allowed to neglect yourself just because you’re heartbroken,” Reese scolded with a frown, putting his hands on his sides. He had been in the same situation with the Alpha a year ago and he had neglected himself because he was hurt. However deep inside he knew that it wasn’t right. Back then he didn’t have someone by his side to remind him but Lan was different. He has him and definitely won’t let the Alpha throw himself away just because someone couldn’t appreciate his feelings.

“*chuckles* I’m not going to neglect myself, Reese… I really just lost my appetite…” Lan managed to laugh, looking at the Beta getting mad for him. Additionally, he’s really touched. Even Elven hadn’t been like this to him.

“You were excited about dinner earlier and now you’ve lost your appetite. How is that not neglecting yourself!?” Reese continued to scold with a deepening frown. He doesn't care if he’s acting out of his position but he can’t let the Alpha be depressed like he did. “Now it’s just you losing appetite but later, you’d be in your bed all day not eating or not showering simply because you’re not in the mood. I’m not going to allow it,” Reese continued, remembering it was exactly what had happened to him before he finally decided one day he no longer wants to be depress but it had already took a year before I decided he’s healed.

“Okay… I’ll eat…” Lan replied in defeat before chuckling again. Looking at the Beta, it felt like if he continue on about skipping dinner, he would continue on and on with his scolding so it’s better to eat. Besides, being with the Beta takes his mind off from thinking about Elven so he didn’t mind.

“I can’t allow it—wait, you are?” Reese continued to scold only to stop hearing the Alpha’s reply. Lan only nodded with another chuckle making Reese blush in embarrassment but he later nodded. He thought Lan would insist on not eating but he’s glad he didn’t.

“Good. Help me set the table then…” Reese ordered and just like that they ate as usual. Lan tried to act as normal as possible but Reese knew he was hurting so after they finished cleaning up together, he then took out two bottles of wine that they secretly bought the last time they went grocery shopping thinking they would need it someday, and that day to today.

* * *

To be Continued…