(June 23)
The next day, things are really quiet and awkward. This is awful. I hate this. But maybe this is better than nothing??

The thing is, Gin is always up before the whistle and I have no idea why. He's already gone from the cabin when the whistle wakes me up. Kentaro rolls over but continues trying to sleep as usual. I didn't get much sleep last night... So I feel especially tired and annoyed by the whistle waking me up today.

Even if the start of the morning was alright, walking into the cafeteria is where it was awkward. Gin glanced at me but quickly looked away. Then I didn't feel his eyes on me like I usually do. I totally ruined our relationship, didn't I? But shouldn't I be glad?? I have one less stalker... Yet when Kentaro arrives, even he is a bit awkward and doesn't look at me. Great... I'm alone again... Wait, that's what I wanted! Isn't it...?

The day drags. When it's the bonding activity, we switch partners again for the new week. I'm with Hisashi. He won't be annoying, will he...? I don't think I want to deal with that right now... Yuuma makes things harder by having the activity be crocheting. Why that?? I don't know how to crochet to save my life. The day seems like it'll continue to be long...

"I've been meaning to ask for a while now..." Hisashi starts. "But may I ask why you had bandages on your wrists at the start of camp?" I look up to see him smiling as usual. He has a constant smile. It can be a little creepy at times. But this one seems a little kinder somehow.

"Huh? Bandages?" I try to get out of my thoughts. Oh yeah, Yuuma helped bandage my wounds. Of course, they're all healed now and didn't scar. "Oh... My handcuffs were too tight. They cut into my skin," I explain.

"Really? Lucky~"

Huh?? Lucky??

"I asked the officer in charge of me to make my handcuffs tighter but he wouldn't~ I wonder why he wouldn't grant my request~ It's no harm to him, right?" Hisashi said.

What the... He's crazy. Why would you want your handcuffs cutting into your skin?? I don't want to have to deal with this pervert. Let me change partners again. Isn't it Yuuma next? That'll be the break I need from everyone else.

Hisashi chuckles. "You look like you want to run away~ But you're stuck with me for a week so you'll have to accept it~" He winks.

Maybe... Maybe if I ignore him... Everything will be alright... I focus on the crochet needle in my hand and the page of instructions in front of me on the table. Hisashi seems to get the idea and is quiet. We work on our crochet creations in silence.

I was right about not being able to crochet to save my life. I can't even thread the needle correctly. How are you supposed to do this?? I want to give up, toss it aside, and stare into space for eternity. Not sure if Yuuma would allow that though. I shouldn't try to get on his bad side in any way. I don't want to be in danger once the year is up.

Hands suddenly grab mine and before I can protest, they help me make a knot with the thread and start a chain. I stare at the proper start of a crochet necklace. Hold on... This might actually be easy? I slowly turn my head to Hisashi. He's still holding my hands and is smiling with his eyes.

"If you need help, you should ask~" he says.

I feel a little embarrassed. I pull my hands away from his. His hands are a bit bigger than mine... Why is that a turn on...

"Sure..." I say. "Thanks..."

He continues smiling. Then he finally goes back to his own crochet piece. He's further along than me and is crocheting like a master. What is he making...? Has he crocheted before...? I have to stare in awe for a moment. Eventually I get over it and continue making my necklace. It's the easiest thing to make in this page of instructions so that's why I chose it.

"Have you... crocheted before?" I ask. Why am I trying to make conversation...?

"I've dabbled in a few crafts similar to this~ But this is my first time crocheting. Since I've had some experience, and I'm good with my hands, I quickly got the hang of it~" Hisashi explained. He crocheted as he talked. He totally seems like an expert... What does he mean this is his first time...

"Oh... I see..." Why do I have to be jealous of the pervert of this camp...?

I continue crocheting and it seems like it's coming along. I glance over at Hisashi again. I pause. His creation has a strange shape... Seriously, what is he making...?

"What are you crocheting, Hisashi...?" I ask.

He immediately beams at me. "You want to know?"

"Never mind..." I turn my head away. I don't want to know after all.

"Hold on~ You don't have to be shy~ If you want to know, I'll tell you~" He tries to bring me back.

I give him the side eye. He holds up his creation.

"It's a pair of underwear~!" He exclaims.

I choke on my own spit. I start coughing. Hisashi pats me on the back to help me. What did he just say!? Underwear!? Why is he making something like that!? There's also zero instructions for that, so how is he making that!?

"Are you alright~?" he asks, not sounding too concerned.

"What the hell... What are you making that for..." I manage to get out after my coughing fit.

He puts a finger to his chin, thinking. Once he finds his answer, he smiles brightly. "It's a pair of underwear for you!"

I choke again. Is he trying to kill me!? Why is it for me!? I'd rather burn it in a fire than wear it!!

"Be careful~" he says, patting my back again.

"I don't want it!! Why'd you make it!?" I exclaim.

"What~? You won't accept my heartfelt gift~? So mean... Boohoo..." He pretends to cry.

"I don't care if it's heartfelt, I don't want it!!" Didn't he also hesitate before answering what it was for...? He obviously didn't make it with me in mind. What is this crazy pervert even trying to do right now!?

He smirks. "I'd love if you'd wear it for me~"

"Why would I do that!?" He seriously...!

Just then, he comes close. His mouth is by my ear. He speaks quietly. "Aren't you as pent up as I am~?"

Huh...? How... How did he know... But I already took care of it yesterday!! Does this pervert have a sixth sense for this kind of thing?? He's a mega pervert. An ultra pervert. The pervert king—

"Since we're both pent up~ Even if you aren't anymore now, it'll build up again~ Since that's the case, how about you come to see me~? Then we can help each other~ How does that sound?" I can practically feel his smirk widen.

No way... I said I wouldn't get close, especially not like that, with any of these boys. And definitely not with this pervert. There's no way I'll be desperate enough to go for him... I have my hand, after all... That can satisfy me... Can't it...?

I push Hisashi away. "No thanks. Offer declined."

"Really~?" He doesn't look impressed. "Whatever you say~ Just remember, my offer still stands~ And I'll definitely finish this underwear for you~" He eyes his creation proudly.

"Keep it for yourself!!" I turn away and pick up my crochet needle again. At least the crochet underwear is a turn off so if I ever waver, I'll remember he has that and never go near him again.

The bonding activity that seemed to go on forever, finally came to an end. Yuuma asked if we wanted to keep our creations or give them to him. Hisashi obviously wanted to keep his. I wonder if I could steal it and then go burn it... I'm a thief after all. I'd probably be able to do it...

The rest of us gave our creations to Yuuma. I was trying to stay focused on the activity, but Hisashi also distracted me. I forgot about my worries with Gin and Kentaro for a second. I glance over and see that they were actually partnered up with each other. That means Matsu was with Yuuma. The air between Gin and Kentaro looks as stiff as you'd expect. There's no reason to worry about them conspiring against me or something... Not that I thought anything like that was going to happen in the first place though...

I feel oddly exhausted after the activity, but the day goes on. Luckily there's no reason for me to interact with anyone else for the rest of the day. It's eventually evening. Gin can't look me in the eye and Kentaro seems somewhat normal. I still feel like I ruined things with both of them... But I'll sleep for today and see how the rest of the week goes.

In the middle of the week, Gin looks like he wants to say something to me. I get anxious and nervous about what he's going to say. I instinctively avoid him, making it a bit too obvious. He keeps his distance instead of saying what he wants to say. This is so weird... I want him to say it to get it over with... But my body won't let him get close... I'm so conflicted. There's no reason to resolve this and get close anyway, right? I don't want to get close. Right?

(June 29)
Saturday comes again and I'm forced to be close to Gin. We're sitting right next to each other. At this point, I'd rather cease to exist than stay here in this situation... But Teshima makes sure we're all listening to her lesson and paying attention. I hold out a bit longer. Once we have free time to work though, I have no idea what to do. Should I ask to sit elsewhere? Do I just help Gin normally? Or do I sit here and ignore him? I don't know...

But a hand clutching my sleeve chains me to my seat. I slowly turn to my head towards Gin. I'm nervous...

"....Akiara...." he quietly says. I have to strain my ears to hear him. "Please listen to what I have to say later..."

I open my mouth and pause. I close my mouth again. The words won't come out... But I've been forced to go along with him now.

"Okay..." I manage.

He lets go and it's unbearably silent as we work independently. I help a little bit with problems he's stuck on, but he's surprisingly doing better today. Kentaro nudges me and I help him the rest of the time. I guess he doesn't seem as bothered about the random hug as Gin did. Maybe one relationship will be alright by the end of this. But didn't I want to have no relationships at all...? I'm already losing sight of my purpose... It's barely been a month so far... My resolve breaks more easily than I thought.

Once it's the end of the day, I slowly walk back to my cabin. Hisashi and Matsu walk faster to get to their cabin. So does Kentaro. Gin follows me and eventually matches my pace. It's awkward. I hate this. Is he going to say it now...? Or should I bring it up?

"...Akiara..." He's so quiet, it's good the night is silent.

We stop walking. I hesitate. Then I turn to him.

"Hey, sorry about a bit ago. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable—" I try to say.

"That's not it..." He actually speaks a little louder, shutting me up. He fiddles with his coat anxiously. "I... I was startled when you suddenly hugged me... And then I was embarrassed... But... It's not that it was a bad thing..." He kept his head down, refusing to meet my eyes.

I process his words. I thought he might tell me it did make him uncomfortable. That I'm a creep and I should stay away from him. But he said it wasn't bad...? He was just embarrassed...? What do I even do about this development...?

He cautiously reaches a hand forward. He grabs the end of my shirt, stepping closer. My heart starts beating faster. What's happening...? No, wait, don't get too excited...

"Like I said..." He begins to elaborate. "I was startled when you suddenly hugged me... I was embarrassed for a few days remembering it... But when I thought about it... It was... Warm... It was a warm hug... I'm glad... You hugged me so warmly..."

I'm frozen. Why does he sound a little sad...? A random hug meant that much to him? And was my hug warmer than him wearing too many layers in summer? I'm confused. But his small voice and his words are pulling at my heartstrings.

"Well... If you didn't mind it, then I'm glad... I was a bit worried you didn't want anything to do with me after that..." I look away. Why am I telling him my real feelings? I should just shut up. We resolved this now, didn't we? Let's move on and go back to normal. Whatever "normal" is...

"...I'm very thankful for the help you've given me... I may not be the best at communicating my feelings though... So please bear with me..." he says. Then he lets go and takes a step back. He glances up at me through his bangs.

I smile a little. "That's alright. I'm glad you've started talking to me now."

He looks a bit startled. He looks away. "Sorry... I was nervous about speaking..."

"Haha! So you're really shy. It's a bit cute." Shy boys make me want to tease them and see their blushing face. I wonder if I could ever get a good look at his face... Especially under the mask...

He turns away. "....cute...." He says, almost under his breath. It's cute he's hung up on the word "cute."

"It's been a long day. Let's get some rest, alright?" I beam at him.

He doesn't look at me. He nods. We finally go to our cabin. Kentaro looks a little confused when we enter late. I'm in higher spirits. I'm glad that's over. It won't be awkward anymore, right? I really hate awkward. It's about to be the bane of my existence.

(June 30)
It's the last day of the month. It's certainly been a wild ride until now... I got to meet each of the boys for the bonding activities. My only partner that's left now is Yuuma. I bet that's going to go a million times better. We don't even have to be awkward afterwards. Thank god. But I'm glad things are better with Gin... Maybe I'll try to take his avoidance not so personally in the future. He's just shy and nervous. 

The bonding activity with Kentaro actually wasn't bad. I'm satisfied with where we are now. Matsu was alright too. I feel like there shouldn't be any problems with him. And Hisashi... What do I even say... He kept urging me to wear his crochet underwear and I kept refusing. Now he stares at me with a smirk from afar. Am I in danger...?

When it's the bonding activity today, Yuuma says we'll play memory with our partners. It's a card game where you put all the cards face down after mixing them up. You choose two cards and flip them over to see if they match. If they don't, you turn them face down again. If they do match, you keep the cards and can take another turn. The one who has the most matches by the end is the winner. I feel like my memory isn't too bad. I'll be able to do it.

The other partnerships are Gin and Matsu, and Kentaro and Hisashi. I can tell Kentaro isn't happy with his new partner. He has a deadly aura and looks annoyed as he sits across from Hisashi. Gin sits with Matsu, and Yuuma comes to sit with me in the back.

"Hello, Akiara," Yuuma greets me as he sits.

"Hello, Counselor Yuuma," I reply.

Yuuma takes the cards out of their box. He shuffles them like a master. I can't shuffle cards at all, so I'm glad he's doing it. He places all the cards face down.

"I'd like to ask you a few questions as we play. They're simple questions. I'd just like to hear about your time here at the camp so far," he says. He allows me to pick a card first.

I pick two cards but they aren't a match. "Alright, go ahead and ask."

He doesn't get a match either and the new cards aren't familiar. "How is the camp so far? Is the schedule easy to follow?"