VALKYRIE

Closing the door to Will’s room left me alone with the gravity of what I’d said and done. William Arliss was a stranger, and a dangerous one… But somehow remembering the look on his face when I’d threatened his life bore into my memory. I’d threatened men before, even killed them when I had to. For the first time, the reputation of the ‘ruthless Captain Valkyrie’ left me with the bitter taste of guilt.

I shook away the thought, brushing back my dark hair as I strode down the hall. First I’d had to deal with Tarren’s brutish disobedience, now this? This useless feeling of regret…

I was tired, wanting nothing more than to go to bed and have it be a new day.

Turning the corridor, angrily muttering to myself, I stopped in my tracks before nearly running into Cordelia. She’d been standing in the middle of the hallway, staring at her feet; startled as she looked up at me.

I placed a hand on my chest, huffing out a breath of relief. “Shit, Cordy. What are you doing?” I sounded harsh and angry, realizing how much inner turmoil was seeping into my words.

She took a step back, her expression wary as her hands twisted together and she answered me. “Sorry, Captain. I didn’t mean to be in the way, I was just… lost in thought.” Her gaze turned down the hall, in the direction I’d come from.

Will seemed to be in everybody’s thoughts.

I took a pause for a moment, leaning against the wall as I looked down at her, softening. “Not often I decide to keep stowaways aboard?” I smirked, trying to make her smile. It wasn’t often I spared anyone, a fact that came with the burden of piracy.

It eased some of the tension from her shoulders, and she finally met my gaze. “It’s not often they’re worth the trouble,” Cordy said, pausing with a slight frown crossing her face. “I heard you took him down to the engine room. Has he proved himself to be of some use to you?”

“Perhaps, if he is an engineer,” I said, sighing. I thought about the last person I’d run into, having faced Tarren’s rage over our unexpected guest. I couldn’t help wondering if Cordy’s cold tone was due to the same fact. “Look, I don’t know if your brother said anything to you…”

“He’s not shy about running his mouth,” she muttered. Her face had softened, and she seemed concerned as she said, “Tarren is a hothead, but he’s worried about you, too.”

Clearing my throat, I shrugged away the concern, changing the subject. “Tarren’s difficult enough as it is, but I’m going to need someone to keep an eye on Will when he’s working on the ship. You're usually the one to patch up the engines until we make port for repairs. Would you be able to keep him in check, or should I ask someone else?”

She raised an eyebrow at me, a slight smirk on her face as she said, “Didn’t you say something about me gossiping with prisoners?” There was a sharpness to her tone. “I’ll watch him, but I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder every time I open my mouth.”

“I’m sorry about that,” I admitted, remembering how I’d spoken to her in front of Will. “You’re a respected member of the crew. I hope you can understand the impression I had to give. It’s not that I don’t value you.”

“Nobody doubts your reputation. Only a fool would think to cross you,” she said, solemn and confident as she tried to reassure me.

I gritted my teeth, remembering Will’s constant banter. “Well, that’s very kind of you, Cordy, but after dealing with the tenacious Mr. Arliss and the intensity of your brother, I’m afraid that may not be altogether true.” I pushed myself away from the wall, stepping around her as I called over my shoulder, “And as for William Arliss, starting tomorrow he’s your responsibility. Think of it as a promotion.” I winked at her, disappearing down the hall before she could say another word.

If Cordelia was right—that only a fool would try to cross me, then my life was more than full of them.

~~~

Finally making it to my quarters, I unlocked the door, unsurprised to find that it was occupied. I closed the door sharply behind me, locking it once more. Standing still in the entrance, I saw Tarren rise from my chair to greet me. “I’m surprised you bothered coming here after how angry I made you,” I said, meeting his intense green eyes against the deep brown of his skin.

I stepped away from the door, removing my weapons belt, and slung it over the back of my armchair so I wouldn’t be tempted to reach for my gun. I shoved past him over to the liquor cabinet, opening a bottle of whiskey by pulling the stopper out with my teeth. I didn’t bother pouring a glass as I sat down behind my desk, kicking up my feet onto the hard surface. I took a swig of hard liquor, feeling the burn of my throat and the rush of heat fill my head.

Tarren let out an aggravated sigh, but the fire of his anger had dimmed. “I didn’t want to leave it like that,” he said. His gaze focused on the bottle of alcohol, and he softened as he watched me. “I shouldn’t have lashed out at you, especially where others could hear it.”

Scoffing, I recalled Tarren’s outburst in front of Will, a prisoner, no less. It sent anger rushing through my veins. “You think just because you have privileges in my quarters you can talk to me however you please all over my ship?!” My voice was a snap of thunder; the bark of a mad dog. I took another drink, letting out a hiss as it hit me. “What good is an apology without the respect of knowing your place?”

Tarren’s jaw tightened, and he surprised me by speaking rationally. “Of course, I respect you, and I’m tryin’ to trust you,” he said. “You’re just doin’ your job as captain, thinking of what’s best for the crew, even if it seems like madness to me. I don’t have to like it, but I can’t hold it against you.”

Another drink, another trail of fire down my throat as I let the crystal bottle hang dangerously between my fingers. “You know what I did after you left?” I asked, scoffing as the image of Will’s terror filled my mind again. “I threatened to shoot him. Because he called me Val.” The words tasted sour, needing more alcohol to wash it away.

“That's my name for you.” Tarren frowned, his voice quiet as he said, “You’ve never felt guilty about taking care of any other threat to the crew’s safety. Why now? What’s so special about this one?”

Smirking, I raised the glass bottle to my lips once more before finally bringing it down on the table. I put the elegant stopper in, leaning away from the drink as I looked up at Tarren instead. “Are you still going to stand by your claim that you’re not jealous?” I asked, untucking my shirt from my breeches and undid my belt. “You seem fairly… passionate.”

“I’m hardly threatened,” he scoffed, though his expression was troubled. “All he’s got is a pretty face and a bad attitude. And he doesn’t plan on stickin’ around; he’ll be leavin’ as soon as he has a chance. I’m sure he’d jump ship tonight if you let him.” Tarren grimaced, as if realizing the words could anger me. “Even if he stayed, I don’t think he could handle you…” Tarren’s slow smile was inviting as he crossed the floor to stand in front of me. My pulse jumped as I leaned back in my chair, watching him place his hands on the armrests. His voice was alluring as he looked over me, an air of seduction in his tone as he whispered, “Not like I can.”

Tarren’s image swam slightly as I looked over him. The benefit of Tarren, whether he was cross with me or not, was that there was always a sense of familiarity. I could be comfortable around him without having to worry about reputation. “You know, seeing as just a few minutes ago I was sure you’d be plotting mutiny, I’m surprised you’re so confident,” I said, flashing him a dizzy half-smile as I looked up at him, his proximity somewhat oppressive as he trapped me in my chair.

Tarren smirked as his gaze stroked over me, like he was a hunter and I was his prey. “Why shouldn’t I be? We didn’t have much time earlier, since you had… places to be,” his tone was sour for a moment before his gaze moved to my neck. “But you’ve been walking around with my mark on your skin.”

I pressed my hand to the place on my neck where Tarren’s mouth had been hours earlier. I closed my eyes, huffing as I remembered almost giving in to him before…giving in to the want of another’s touch. I looked at the bottle that swam on my desk, the light scattering dull colors across the surface from the cut glass. There was far less liquor in the bottle than when I’d first retrieved it from the cabinet, and I could already feel my willpower beginning to fade.

I just wanted to lose myself in something and forget all about Will Arliss… Forget the way he’d looked at me.

Tarren slid into my lap, his knees straddling my hips as he put his arms up over my shoulders. “I have every reason to be confident. Should I remind you how much you enjoy my company?” Tarren’s hands slipped through my hair, his fingers lightly teasing my neck as he leaned into me and pressed his mouth to mine.

I let him kiss me, my hands going to his hips in a kind of routine. There was no emotion within me as I pulled Tarren closer, seeking the intimacy more than the man it was with. Still, as Tarren’s hands went under my shirt, his mouth moving to my jaw, then my throat, it was easy to lose myself in the sensation.

I tugged at his shirt, urging him to remove it. As I closed my eyes, all I could see was William’s face, staring at me as I threatened to shoot him. I felt my body tense, squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to erase the image.

“Val?” Tarren’s voice was breathy in my ear, his eyes dark when he pulled back enough to look at me with concern. “Is something wrong?”

Hearing him call me Val was like a trigger. I shook my head, pulling Tarren’s face back to mine, kissing him deeply in return. “Would you lie with me tonight?” I asked in a hush, letting go of my control.

“You never have to ask,” he whispered, his voice husky as his hands trailed down my chest to reach for my breeches. “I’ll always be here when you need me.”

Standing up I pushed Tarren towards my bed, flattening him against the mattress. I let his hands undress me, wondering how often I’d found myself using him as a way to numb all the torment in my skull. As I lost myself to carnal pleasure, I felt my tension ease. He was like another form of alcohol, something to get drunk off of and cut ties with the next morning. All the guilt and burden washed away, reminding me why it was so easy to fall into bed with this man.

Falling into deep rhythms of breaths and the touch of skin, when it was over, I found myself void of all feeling. Numb at last, the look on Will’s face no longer haunted me. Instead of remembering his face filled with shock and fear, I thought about the look of awe he’d had in seeing the ship's heartstone. With that image filling my mind, I was finally able to close my eyes… and allow the dreams to take me.