I led Blanc outside of the village to a hillside with a nice view of the farmlands beneath the horizon. When I sat down, she did the same, but she seemed a lot more interested in the skewer than anything else.
"Here," I said as I handed her all three.
Her face lit up with a bright smile, and she began eating away. It took her only seconds to eat one, before moving onto another. As nice as it is to see her finally being able to eat a decent meal, it was still sad that she even had to scrounge for it in the first place.
Blanc abruptly paused mid-bite when she saw me looking at her.
"Ah! S-sorry. You... wanted one too, didn't you?" she asked sheepishly.
"Eh? Oh. Ahaha... No. I bought it for you," I chuckled.
"But... You spent gold for this."
"The shopkeeper was kind enough to give me three for the price of one. It's alright, Blanc. Don't worry about me. Just eat as much as you want."
Her eyes lowered to look at the skewer, then to me, then back to the skewer. She lifted one of them and held it up to my mouth.
For a second, I simply sat there, stunned and dazed. Does she want me to take a bite? It's not that I don't want to, but... Silverain once fed me just like this way back then. It feels a bit weird.
Nonetheless, I pulled my hair back and bit off a small piece. It's tasty. In fact, ever since coming here... I think that was the first time I enjoyed eating something.
"Is it good?" Blanc asked.
"Yeah," I replied. "Thank you, Blanc."
"Why are you the one thanking me? I should be the one thanking you. So... Thank you, Noir."
"Heh. You're very welcome."
Just like last time, I lifted my hand, but she kept perfectly still. Slowly and gently, I rested it on top of her head. Her big, soft eyes blinked a couple of times and fixed on me with curiosity.
I don't know how this world works. I don't know what's right or wrong, what's good or evil, and what's supposed to be the norm compared to something else that may seem like the opposite.
Even then, Blanc is just a young, innocent girl. Not only does she go day by day with such dreadful living conditions, but she's also a target for those disgusting Wayfarers of Ignis. I don't think... No... I refuse to believe that this is right.
"Feeling better?" I asked.
"...Yeah," she mumbled.
"Hm? What's wrong, Blanc?"
"Um. Well... Noir. How come... you're being so nice to me?"
"What? What do you mean?"
"N-not that I'm ungrateful! If that's how it came out. It's just... You helped me get away the other night, you stopped that man from hurting me, and you even bought me food. I appreciate it. Truly... but I don't deserve it."
Suddenly, my chest tightened and ached. It felt like someone was wedging a blade through my heart, tearing it in half. Why... does it hurt me to hear those words coming from her mouth?
"Blanc... Why are you saying that...?" I muttered.
With a forced smile, she began speaking lowly. "Because it's the truth, isn't it? Ever since Mama died, everything changed. The Logos must've determined that I'm not allowed to be happy. Maybe I did something bad, and they're punishing me. That might be why they sent those people after me and Mama."
"That doesn't make sense to me. You can't pin this on the Logos. They can only determine the path of those who follow them. Even then, it's not your fault. This is simply because of the greediness of those damned priests."
"Hehe... I know you're trying to make me feel better, Noir. Thank you... but you're wrong. You see... I 'am' a Wayfarer."
Blanc stood up, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. A sensation of warmth suddenly washed over me. When she opened her eyes, they were glowing intensely. Trails of light whisked around her, visible even beneath the light of the sun.
"I follow the Path of Lux... just like Mama," she said.
"Path... of Lux..." I gasped.
From what Heath told me, those Wayfarers of Ignis came here because of Madam Claire's power of Lux. Now that she's gone, they're targeting her daughter.
There was a part of me that hoped she wasn't a Wayfarer. Perhaps then, the church would've left her alone. Then again...
"Is this... the reason why those Wayfarers of Ignis are after you?" I asked.
Her expression lowered, and the light dispersed. "That's right... They don't know for sure that I follow the Path of Lux, so they're just sticking around for now."
"You're telling me... that they harass you, abuse you, and keep you in this state of neglect... on the off-chance that you 'might' be a Wayfarer of Lux?"
It was only a possibility. They don't know for sure that she's a Wayfarer, but they continue their antics...
There it is again. This feeling. My body is shaking, my heart is racing, and my mind... is tearing itself apart. All I can think about is wiping those disgusting priests from the face of this world... but I can't. Not yet, at least.
"So this is what goes on in that little head of yours..." I sighed. "I can't even imagine it. Why are you handling this on your own? Why aren't the villagers helping you?"
"They are, just in their own way."
"That's not what I meant. I know they do you small favors here and there, but that's not enough. Why are they leaving you, a defenseless little girl, to fend off against the priests on your own?"
"I know want to help me, but they can't. If they try, then those people will come after them too. Every time I look at them, they're always so hurt. I've always known... that my existence is just a curse to everyone else. Maybe I should just give myself up so they won't have to worry about me anymore."
What's with that response? Why is she the one who's worried about them when it should be the other way around? How is such a little girl capable of saying such words while smiling? It's almost as if... this is something that she has gotten used to, as terrible as it is.
"You don't have to worry about me. Really," Blanc said. "Ever since Mama died, I've been waiting for my moment to join her. Maybe this is that moment. Maybe... this is the path that the Logos wanted me to follow."
"Blanc..." I muttered.
"I'll be okay, Noir. This was always... m-meant to... Eh...?"
My eyes widened, though they were directed aimlessly. As I sat there, dazed and speechless, Blanc raised her hand up to her face, rubbing her fingers along the edge of a wet trail.
"A-ah... Don't worry, Noir," she said as she wiped her face. "This is just... J-just..."
Even after wiping them multiple times, the tears kept on running.
Without a second thought, or even so much as a reason in the back of my head, I rushed forward and locked Blanc in my arms.
"Eh? N-Noir...?" she mumbled.
"To be honest with you... I lost my memories a while ago, so I don't understand too much about emotions," I said. "However, hearing your story and the way you talk about yourself... made my heart ache. I think this is what they call... sadness. That's right. I felt sad listening to all of this, and I now understand how you feel. When you're sad, you cry. So... It's okay, Blanc. It's okay to cry."
Blanc's hands reached up to my chest, her fingers tightly clawing at my chest. I heard her convulsive breaths as her body began to shake.
She remained quiet and perfectly still, until she let out a subtle squeak. What began as small sniffles soon became an audible cry of anguish, restrained by convulsive gasps.
"I don't wanna die, Noir..." she muttered, before her usually quiet voice amplified for the first time. "I don't... I don't wanna die! But what... can I do? What can anybody do...? Nothing. No matter what I do, I can't... do anything... and that's why... I'm scared. I'm... I'm so scared..."
My shirt became wet with her tears, but I didn't mind. I simply rested my hand on her head and held her tight. These tears are the result of years of solitude, all her burdens weighing heavily on her shoulders with no one to extend a helping hand. It only served to magnify this feeling of sadness within me.
Eventually, her cries had calmed, her harsh breaths settled, and her grasp on my shirt loosened.
For a while, I sat there upon the hillside while she rested in my arms. Her breaths slowly decelerated, a sign that she was falling asleep. I remember when Silverain used to do this for me. It was always comforting. I'm hoping that's the case for Blanc.
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