Nico feels his throat tighten as her footsteps fade away. He rubs a hand through his wet hair, leaning his elbow against his knees and his temple against his hand. He rubs at his nape, a frustrated sigh leaving his lips. He knows that what she says is true but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel like it. His mother wasn't exactly known for her kind nature- especially towards her crew- and Nico knows firsthand just how evil she could really be. He doesn't want anything like that on his ship.

He doesn't allow fighting between his crew for that reason. He knows somewhere deep, in the back of mind, that sometimes that just can't be avoided. People will have their disagreements, and sometimes rough housing gets out of hand, but he can't help but feel that he coulda avoided it somehow.

And on top of all that… He feels like a hypocrite. He knows what he said. He knows he said that he doesn't serve special treatment to anyone on this ship… And honestly so far he hasn't.

But he wants to. He wants to reserve special treatment for Luca. His chest twists something spectacular when he's near the other man, and when Nico finally got him to laugh the other night… The blond feels his stomach do flip flops as he lets his head hang, body feeling those warm hands against his back again, nerves eliciting something similar to lighting across his skin as he thinks of holding the other man again. 

His laugh was so soft. It wasn't even a full on laugh, it was just a chuckle, but it made his guts bubble in all the right ways and the alpha can't help but feel sick with emotion when he thinks about it. 

And then he yelled at him. Luca was the first one to get off the ship. Even though Nico was the one that angrily sailed the ship head first into a lagoon, ignoring Lana’s upset protests about their course, Luca was the one that stomped over and immediately jumped over the side of the ship and swam to the beach. He didn't wait for boats, he didn't wait for anyone else. He just left. 

Nico hasn’t seen him since. The younger man disappeared into the woods and hasn't come back. Nico’s pretty sure that he's left.

He breathes in a long, slow breath, shaking his head at himself as he laces his fingers over the back of his neck. He really is a fucking hypocrite. 

He can't help himself.

“Cap’in…”

He looks up, eyes shifting some as Jacques comes into view. He frowns, disappointed when he realizes it's not Luca, and then he's scolding himself again because why would it be? Maybe he drank a bit too much, “What?” He grumbles.

“Are you hungry?” Jacques holds out some seared fish and the blond glances at it, silently wanting to smack the food from his face. He feels so pissed off and at this point he doesn't know about what. A few moments ago he was simply lingering on his time in prison, and that alone can make his blood boil before he can even start with the shit he'd seen those soldiers do.

But he reaches up, taking it, “Thanks Jacques.” Jacques smiles, nodding curtly before walking back up the beach. 

He sits there, eating the fish slowly as his eyes fall quietly. Maybe he is being a bit dramatic. No, he knows he's being dramatic. He rubs a hand through his hair, salt scraping across his scalp as he sighs. He just wishes everything could be perfect. Maybe expecting people to be perfect isn't that he should be wanting. Shit happens… That doesn't mean he failed his crew like his mother did one too many times. 

He looks back out across the water, the dark void shifting a moving, soft swishing filling his ears. He feels his shoulder relax, brows softening as he shakes his head and takes another bite. 

He hears gunshots moments later. He looks to his right, shirt shifting off his shoulder as the unbuttoned fabric jerks with his body. He stares off down the beach, flinching when he hears another one faintly. 

He looks back at his crew, watching as they all holler and yell, James and Bastian dancing around the fire like a bunch of hoodlums as they howl with laughter. Nico looks back down the beach, and slowly he moves to stand, abandoning his drink.