Year 2000-MAR,

Marcus sat by the beach in his blue cardigan. His favorite one. It’s 4 AM in the mid of Autumn. He stared at the ocean with a heart of emptiness. The ocean lines blurring with the sky as if they are one and the same. The morning fog makes it all more realistic. Marcus sat there till 7 AM, watching how the fog lifted and how the lines are clearer now. The sky changed colors. There’s light now. Brighter than before. And it’s gonna stay brighter till evening falls. And this simple awareness, meant a lot for Marcus.

For he is an orphan, a mistake of someone’s momentary lust. He left the orphanage at the age of 18. Legal age to figure out things and to walk on our own, is what the nanny at the orphanage told. But is it? Marcus had no time to ponder on the question, just like the rest of us. He too stepped on the treadmill of life. He too ran. Ran till everything blurred. Ran to have bread on his plate. Ran, because everyone did. He ran, because that’s how the world is designed to be. To run.

Marcus worked in a News Publishing company. He does accounts, for a minimum wage. He did couple of part-times on the weekend. The place he is living, is a box type studio. With only one room and a restroom. And that is enough for him. Not that he got a family or such. Marcus always gave his all and over the years it all started to spin in his head. It all meant nothing to him now. It all felt in vain.

When he turned 24 this year, for the first time he stopped running and questioned himself, “WHY?”.  He started to go to the beach, and sit for hours staring at the waves and far across the nothingness. He felt life in this simple act. He felt alive and conscious. He continued to do so. Every morning, he sat by the beach. And let the life flow in him.

When life dawned on him, things that he ran for, started to slip away. For instance, he lost his main Job. He did more part time jobs to compensate. And when he got exhausted, he’d ran to the ocean, to embrace the life. And again, he’d have to run and again to the ocean. Run again. Back to the ocean. Run again. Back to the ocean.

A baby once learned to walk, will never go back to crawling on four limbs. Finding peace in the midst of chaos, a saint will never go back to ‘regular’ human life. Marcus did the same. He snapped out of it. He chose the life-fulness. He refused to run again for no reason. He stopped and took a whole moment. He delivered the last food order from his part-time job as pizza delivery guy. He left the store bike and took subway. Back to the ocean.