Chapter 0: Death

"Get out of here!"

I have no idea who is shouting this at me or where the voice is coming from, but I run. I've got a constant ringing in my ears. My field of vision is blurred, and I have no idea which way the gate is.

I look down at myself. Somehow, I've got no serious injuries. I only caught a few sparks from the fireball as it hit the middle of our squad. The few surface burns are nothing a healer couldn't fix.

Our healer... We spent weeks training and simulating missions inside dungeons before we brought her along for the first time today. She was right behind me, so she probably didn't get hit by the explosion, but where did she go? We have to celebrate her debut, after all.

Without sense or reason, I continue to run across the vast fields around me. I could walk in circles and wouldn't notice, but the words still echo in my head. I need to get out of here. I hear nothing but my breathing and my footsteps; the buzzing noises in my ears are slowly fading.

Rather, by accident, I discover a small group of goblins running around, shouting wildly. One of the goblins is dragging something behind it while the other tries to snatch it out of its hands. These creatures shouldn't be able to use magic, and yet they've caught us cold. I'd like to massacre any of them out of sheer hatred. But I want to live, and one against three is too risky.

Although they are only about twenty meters away, they don't seem to notice me. I am just about to run past them, but unfortunately, one look at the object of their desire is enough to make me freeze on the spot. It is our healer. All her limbs seem broken. She is covered in dirt and blood. I feel sick and start to gag.

I'm ashamed that my head is screaming to run away. It's too late to save her. But my body moves on its own. I gather mana in my arms and hands to strengthen them.

Thanks to their loud arguing, the three goblins don't hear my steps, and I catch the first one without him being able to prepare for the attack.

My hand hits its skull, which breaks with a loud crack. My hand is also done for, but I mustn't care about pain right now. With a fluent motion, I turn to the other two, involuntarily glancing at our healer. She wears a smile on her face as if she is relieved to see me, even though her life is long gone. This brief moment of distraction is enough for me to lose focus.

I was never meant to fight. My guild leader used to say I was too soft and showed too much empathy. What is expected of us mages? That we shed our humanity?

A sharp pain in my chest makes me want to scream, but not a single sound comes out. I glance down and notice a sword piercing my body. My mana flow is still active. I use all my strength to beat the life out of the two goblins. It smells of blood and guts; the sights are gruesome, and I'm not sure how I am still able to form a thought right now.

At some point, my pain is gone. Without knowing where to go, I make my way back toward the Dungeon Gate, along with the remains of our healer of this young girl. I trip over my own feet, and she falls out of my arms. My eyes are fixed on her for an endless moment - until I leave her behind.

I lost any sense of time, and my vision is growing darker with the second, but finally, I can hear the crackling of the gate's magic. For a moment, I am feeling something like happiness, but this is immediately washed away by anger and sadness.

Just how pointless was all that? I'm dying so I can carry her cold body to the other side. And I didn't even manage to do that. How stupid am I? Why didn't I just run away?

Please, save me. I don't want to die.