The day lazily passed by, and I could not help but feel an insatiable thirst creeping up on me. The burn in my throat intensified, a constant reminder of my failure to get blood last night. Being deprived of my source of sustenance, I could not help but notice the mortals around me, bearing bite marks from head to toe. The temptation was too much to bear, enough to drive me to madness. But I knew I had to keep my composure. So, I spent my day at the elegant bar, indulging in fine spirits to quench my thirst and soothe the burning sensation in my throat. But they only provided a temporary distraction in this endless cycle of eternal thirst.

“Why waste time consuming whiskey when you could be indulging in this delightful taste?” A familiar voice suddenly broke through the fog in my head, causing me to snap out of my haze. Despite the numbness and haze, I was keenly aware that I was not drunk. Vampires, after all, do not get drunk. Instead, I was simply in a state of euphoria, feeling good enough to not be bothered by the bleeding mortal.

Xavier  favourite jacket, tailored to early 60s specifications, was a sight to behold. The light russet coloured collar added a touch of sophistication to the otherwise simple jacket. He effortlessly pulled off the classic look by pairing it with a snug white T-shirt and a pair of jeans. However, it was the six-inch untied, scuff-proof boots that completed the ensemble, adding a sense of ruggedness and danger. His appearance was both appealing and sinister. I couldn't help but wonder how many unlucky girls had fallen for his appearance, completely unaware of the dangers that lurked beneath.

Xavier set a glass filled with red liquid in front of me. "Just extract from a human.  Thank me later.”

“I have no recollection of requesting such a thing," I stated with a distant.

“Aren’t you tired of using blood bags?” Xavier cocked an eyebrow. “Maybe some fresh blood would do you good.”

When I observed the humans earlier, their eyes were filled with a certain longing, a deep desire to please. As I fought against the images of sinking my teeth into their flesh, I could not help but unconsciously lick my lips. The mere thought of the sensation of feeding, and the rush of life that surged through me the first time I indulged in it, was enough to make my heart race if it were able to.

I found myself tormented by conflicting emotions, experiencing both pleasure and disgust simultaneously. Such a rush of gratification should not have been felt, because I was harming my family.

“I am content with my feeding habits,” I stated. I refused to give in to my animalistic desires ever again.

Xavier took a moment to pour himself a shot of whiskey before turning to me. "Sooner or later, you will come to regret it," he said with a hint of warning in his voice.

I snapped back, unimpressed with his attempt to tell me otherwise. “I don't require your input.”

With an amused expression, he let out a grin. "I couldn't help but notice your drinking has become quite a routine.”

“What other way can I cope with the person you have transformed me into?"

"I imagine there are even worse things you could be engaging in." He smirked.

I shot a disapproving look. "Do you truly have nothing else to say?"

“How do you feel about...?" He stopped and waited, clearly wanting to make an impact. "You're behaving like a teenage girl going through her monthly cycle."

I rolled my eyes. “I am a girl.”

“Have you ever behaved like one though?”

“Asshole!”

“You have called me worse things.” Xavier remarked before taking a sip of his whiskey, his tone laced with indifference.

Resisting the the temptation to slam him into the wall, I took a deep breath, and my face shifted into a cool façade.

“Why are you here, Xavier?”

“I came to give you blood.”

“Don’t bullshit me.” I snapped.

“You seem to have developed a bit of a temper too, but it's important for you to understand that I am only here because of Alice. She pleaded with me to help.”

“Just leave me be. Is that so hard?” I asked him.

"I can't believe your arrogance." His narrowed eyes conveyed his contemptuous thoughts. "You truly think you're better than everyone else." He scoffed, "Contrary to what you believe, I have other things to occupy my time with besides trying to earn your forgiveness. Honestly, I couldn't care less."

During the time that Xavier and I lived together, he would bring home blood every night knowing that I had a fear of feeding on humans. This gesture showed his understanding and consideration for my personal beliefs and struggles. However, after our separation and my transition to consuming refrigerated blood bags, I started to notice a significant difference in taste and eventually, a gradual decrease in my strength. Although I was still stronger than the average human, I was not stronger than other vampires.

“Take this." I returned the glass Xavier. "I have no need for anything from you. Remember that."

With a weary sigh, he ran one hand through his disheveled hair. His demeanour appeared uncharacteristically unsettled.

Xavier uttered my name, “Eden,” and it caught me off guard. It seemed surreal to hear my own name from him, as if it had been ages since he last said it. I could not help but feel a surge of mixed emotions. If it were even remotely possible, tears would have welled up in my eyes. I could not understand why I reacted that way, but there was something about the way Xavier said my name that evoked a deep sense of past familiarity.

“Don’t speak my name,” I exclaimed, my voice quivering with anger. My emotions were raging within me.

“We used to be friends, but our bond was deeper than that. We were like family," Xavier expressed.

“I am pleased that you mentioned "were" because it signifies that everything in the past is behind us. Understand that you have not lost a thing. It is I who have lost everything.” The pain in my voice reflected the depth of my emotions.

"Do you recall the family I welcomed you into, when you were in need? They are no more. Deceased and never to return. I was the one who ended their lives, all because of this God forsaken thing you turned me into.”

“You’re wrong!” Xavier yelled. “I, too, have suffered. I lost my dear friend and family. Please do not believe that you are the only one experiencing pain.”

I scoffed at that.

“Do you know what is so amusing?” I inquired.

“I do not wish to know.”

I inched towards him and asked, "Can you guess?”

He quickly replied with a dismissive, "No."

Frustration consumed me.

"I said, guess damn it!" A surge of anger coursed through my body, causing me to forcefully push against his chest.

"I said, No!'" The hue of his eyes deepened, taking on a darker intensity than their usual shade.

“I shared everything with you. I showered you with love and care. I welcomed you into our family with open arms, bringing joy and laughter into your life. And yet, you choose to repay me in this manner.”

“I think about them, Eden. I am filled with gratitude for all the amazing acts of kindness and support that you and your family have bestowed upon me. I am terribly sorry.”

As I stood there, looking at the empty room where my sister lay unconscious, my face must have mirrored the same heartbreaking expression I had back then when I first saw her. My mind was flooded with memories of Xavier and I frantically trying to revive her, the panic and fear that engulfed us, and the realisation that she was alone in this state. A wave of overwhelming sadness washed over me, but I could not even shed a single tear.

It was clear that the confines of this room could not contain the overwhelming flood of emotions that were pouring out. As a result, I made the decision to leave, seeking solace and space elsewhere. 

I slid down the wall in my bedroom and slumped to the floor, feeling overwhelmed by the weight of my emotions. Biting my lower lip until it indented from the pressure, I could not contain the flood of memories that rushed through my mind. I thought about Xavier, who had endured his fair share of bad foster parents when he was human. The thought of our shared experiences and values filled me with a deep sense of sadness and longing. It felt as though my emotions were choking me, like a dog on a bone.

During the months we lived together in Nicma, after the tragic loss of my family and before Alice's arrival, Xavier maintained a distant and aloof demeanour towards me. It was clear that he was afraid of triggering my fragile emotional state. Afraid that I would break down and cause further destruction, as I had done in the past. He never tried to engage in conversation or even make eye contact with me. It was a difficult and lonely time for both of us, as we both mourned the loss of our loved ones in our own silent ways.

How could I recover from the hurt caused by my former best friend? And if everyone was deserving of a second chance, why have I not found divine forgiveness?