“You sure you’re fine?” Lucas asked as Teru’s bus pulled around the corner. “You look like you’re about to puke.”

“Thanks to that dingleberry, one of my migraines is coming.”

That was a lie. Teru was feeling nauseous. But it was because of what Nolan had said about Yuta. Really, how did they know each other? He couldn’t figure it out, brainstorming that maybe they could’ve come across each other at air rifle practice or something, when his high school sweetheart would sometimes come to see him shoot. Yuta knew his feelings about his childhood bully.

He would have mentioned something if they had met. Right?

Seeds of doubt were planted in his mind, thanks to Nolan. Ugh.

The little jingle of the approaching bus got his attention. “Thank you for getting my mittens. It meant a lot… but don’t rush into traffic again,” he scolded. Upon closer inspection, it seemed they got run over. Some threads were loose and slightly dirty. He’d have to crochet those back in. For now, he placed the pair safely in his bag to avoid unraveling them more.

“Yes, Mom.” Lucas smirked at first, but it slowly turned into a contemplating frown. It seemed he wanted to say more, but the door opened. Teru had to go. The next bus to the Sanya district wouldn’t be for another hour. “Then, I’ll see you after New Year? I’m going to Osaka for a week so…” 

His friend had college exams tomorrow, followed by a long national holiday usually spent with family, though Teru knew Lucas hated visiting his parents in southern Chiba; avoided them like a plague, actually. They were neglectful and sent him to a school dorm in central Tokyo as soon as he was old enough. 

Teru couldn’t fathom that. Though his dad was gone and his mom had become a helicopter parent, he never felt unloved. High expectations to succeed and provide for the family—yes. Times when he believed they could’ve protected him better from being severely bullied—yes. But never discarded. 

“Of course,” Teru assured. “Don’t forget to bring me something cool.”

“Like Twizzlers?”

Teru made a face, remembering the sweet, sticky sensation of licorice stuck to his teeth. “If that’s all, then I’d rather not have anything.” 

“Don’t be picky.”

“Don’t tell me what to do with that alpha male energy,” Teru joked, referring to how Nolan watched those toxic masculinity videos. “Have a safe trip, man.”

With a final gaze at each other, he hurried to get in line. Given the number of people waiting, no seats would be left. It was even questionable if there was space to stand. Oh, the joys of taking public transportation during the height of weekend foot traffic and bar hopping. Right before Teru got on with his bus pass, he yelled to Lucas, “Go shower. Ya kinda smell.”

People on the bus gawked at Lucas’s middle finger, silently wondering why the hell the foreigner was so rude. When Teru scanned his bus pass and stood near the doors, he returned the offensive gesture. Their constant immature behavior lifted his bad mood a bit. If anyone could make him feel better, it was Lucas.

SHUT, SQUEAK.

The tires of the overloaded bus creaked forward and began its one-hour journey to Sanya, where he grew up. It was the poorest area in Tokyo. Well, poor was a harsh way to explain it; it was more like run-down and a common place for people in debt to avoid collectors. 

It was what he and Yuta could afford, which had barely cost anything because of the apartment’s condition. Still, there were places in way more dilapidated conditions—old houses that were literally collapsing but couldn’t be demolished because of ownership confusion, black-molded marketplaces, run-down restaurants, and broken pavements. 

And whenever Teru saw several unfortunate locals who slept in the streets daily…

He would get out there on his own terms, with hard work and determination. When his mom and sister moved to Kanagawa prefecture over the summer to be closer to her side of the family, he declined and stayed. Mainly for Yuta, who wouldn’t move and was uncompromising about staying in the area. Regardless, Teru had a gut feeling he would find what he was looking for in central Tokyo. 

Was it an unwise choice to start fresh? Perhaps. Was it foolish to let go of his mom’s apron strings and find independence without secure finances? Perhaps.

But at least it was his decision and no one else’s.

Not even fate could stop him—

RIIING, RIIING.

Crap, crap, crap!

He panicked, rummaging through his bag to find that old iPhone 3 with the backside falling off and barely able to hold a charge. Surrounding people gave him a dirty look. When he finally found it at the bottom, he declined the call and turned off the sound. Immediately, his mom tried calling again. Declining again, he sent her a text via LIME app:

Teru: I’m on the bus. Can’t talk.

Mom: When are you arriving in Kanagawa? Your grandparents haven’t seen you in so long, and Grandpa needs a farm hand for a few days. The local market needs help pounding mochi, too.

Teru: We talked about this, remember? I have to work. The mall isn’t closed on the New Year’s holiday. They’re understaffed.

He winced when she read the message and didn’t reply instantly. That meant she was sending several paragraphs. And as predicted, it was like a novel—saying how she worried about him, that he should’ve come with them, and so on. It was the same nagging. But really, Teru knew it was because there was an expectation of him to take over her family’s country house and farmland, to continue the tradition… or lose the land that wasn’t worth much. The pressure was immense, being the only grandson of the Fujita family.

And most of all, she repeated how she wanted him to leave Yuta. His mom never liked him much. She called it a ‘mother’s intuition,’ or something.

Hina can start her life whenever she wants. They invested most of their savings for her to study in Australia next year. Yet they expect me to move, farm, get married, and live according to their plan for me. And Mom... she didn’t used to be like this. Dad’s weird death really changed her. 

Shit, this damn migraine...

Teru could say only one thing at that moment without giving in. It hurt his soul to go against the nature he was brought up to be, but he could not be a pushover anymore.  

Teru: I’m sorry. I need to do this for myself.

He turned off any notifications from her. He needed time to figure himself out. Teru still had little experience in this world, only knowing school, work, and balancing his relationship in that busy equation. 

Speaking of work…

There would be no rest for him. His second job’s shift was later tonight. Lucas didn’t know that Teru also had a second job—a mall cashier by day and a convenience store worker by night. Sleep? What was that? The concept of getting more than three hours of slumber a day was foreign, a privilege. He felt like the only time he wasn’t working was air rifle practice and the occasional day off with Yuta.

Right, Yuta. I wonder what he’s going to say when I ask about Nolan.