A couple days go by. Something in the card game with Yuuma triggered me. Maybe I took his words the wrong way. Maybe the memories of my parents bother me more than I expected. But at least now I can be like how I wanted to be at this camp; cold and cut off from everyone else. That way everyone will definitely leave me alone. My earlier attitude could be fixed too easily. Now this one feels like it can last. It has to last...

(July 3)
I come to the cafeteria like usual in the morning. I sit down at my usual table. Everyone has taken their seats too. There's Hisashi, two tables in front of me. There's Gin across from Hisashi on the other side of the room. There's Kentaro at the table behind Gin. And then— huh? Matsu isn't where he usually is, at the table behind Kentaro.

Yuuma looks at the clock and back at Matsu's table. He's now late. That's strange... Matsu is always here. By the time I arrive at the cafeteria, Hisashi, Gin, and Matsu are always there. Usually Kentaro runs in, just in time. But Matsu is at least always here before me. He's always smiling happily and moving around restlessly in his seat. But he's late for the first time. Something is wrong...

Yuuma starts the day as usual like he doesn't care. We get our breakfast from Ana. It looks and smells good as always. But oddly enough, I don't have an appetite. I stand up and slowly raise my hand.

"Um... Counselor Yuuma? What about Matsu?" I ask.

"It looks like he's decided to not come on time this morning. We'll wait a little longer to see if he finally arrives. I'll check on him if he still isn't here after breakfast," he says.

But isn't that strange...? Is what I wanted to say, but instead I sat back down. What am I doing? This cold and distant personality can't hold up either? What's wrong with me? I shouldn't care about Matsu. Maybe he decided to sleep in today. Yeah, that's it. That must be it. What else can it be...?

The food in front of me still doesn't look that appetizing to my stomach. I start to bounce my leg and glance over at the empty table. I look back at the door. Matsu is nowhere to be seen. No, stop thinking about him... I don't care... I really don't care about anything...

But Matsu's carefree smile comes to mind. His cute stutter. When he said the frogs were a couple and looked at me. His shining yellow eyes. My relief at seeing his cheeks looking fuller than when he first arrived at the camp. How...How can I not care...?

I stand up again. I step over the bench and head for the door.

"Akiara? Where are you going?" Yuuma asks.

I pause at the door. Yeah. Where am I going? Didn't Yuuma say he'd check on Matsu after breakfast? Why do I have to go? I clench my hands into fists at my sides. But my uneasiness is crushing my heart. It won't stop until I confirm that Matsu really is just sleeping in with my own eyes. I have to...make sure he's alright...

"...I'm going to check on Matsu," I say. Then I open the door and walk out into the bright light of day. A cloud covers the sun almost immediately, making it darker. That isn't a bad omen...is it...?

"Akiara, wait," I hear Yuuma call me.

I can't wait. I hurry forward. I hurry past my cabin and to Matsu's. Is the sky getting darker or is it just me? I hesitate at the door. Why am I trembling? Matsu will just be sleeping in his bed beyond the door. What am I afraid of? There can't be anything really wrong. This isn't a murder mystery. This is just a drama about criminals. Nothing horrifying is supposed to happen.

With that, I grab the doorknob and swing it open. The cabin is dark. Blinds cover the windows. It's especially dark with the clouds overhead. I can't see anything... I take a few steps inside the cabin. I see what looks like a body under the blankets on the bed on the left. That's Matsu. He's just sleeping. Right? It's odd for him to sleep in though. He didn't get a summer cold, did he? I'll just check if he's alright and I'll leave. I can get rid of the uneasiness that's now suffocating me.

I stand at the side of the bed. Hm? Is there some awful smell...? Weird... But let's check on Matsu first. I reach out. I grab the blanket and slowly pull it off. He doesn't react. He's out cold probably... Is he sick after all? Maybe if I can feel his forehead—

My eyes have adjusted to the darkness. Is Matsu...trembling...? I pull the blanket off even more. Then my hand immediately goes to my mouth and nose. The smell is stronger. Matsu is trembling and looks soaked in sweat. Next to him looks and smells like vomit. My own trembling gets worse.

"M...Matsu...?" I say his name. He doesn't react. He only grunts a little in pain and keeps shaking. No... There is something wrong... He looks awful... What...What do I do...?

Before I know it, my feet are taking me out of the cabin, leaving the door wide open. The sky is crowded with dark clouds. A storm is brewing. My feet keep going to the cafeteria. Someone... Anyone... We have to help Matsu...!!

I barge into the cafeteria. Everyone looks back and stares. I don't care what I look like right now. I have to get help for Matsu. He has to be alright... We have to clean him up...

"It's... It's Matsu..." I say. "He doesn't...look well..." The scene of him trembling sticks to my brain. I don't like it. He's usually smiling and carefree. How in the world did he get like that...?

Yuuma hurries over to me. He puts a hand on my shoulder. "It'll be alright. Let me see him."

I step out of the way. Yuuma hurries past to go see Matsu. I'm frozen for a second. First we should clean him up... Or is there something we should do before that...? I'm not sure... We need to do something! I break the ice around my feet and go to the supply closet outside. I find a bucket. There's a spout for water on the outside of the cafeteria. I fill up the bucket. I grab a few rags and hurry to the cabin where Matsu is again.

"Matsu? Matsu, can you hear me?" Yuuma is talking to Matsu. I only hear Matsu groan, still out of it.

"Counselor Yuuma...! We have to clean him up...!" I bring the bucket over to him.

He sees it. "Good job, Akiara. I'll clean him up. I need you to gather the dirty sheets and run them to Tamiyo. Can you do that?"

"Yes...!" I quickly say.

Yuuma moves Matsu to the other bed. He grabs the bucket and the rags and wipes Matsu's mouth and face. I grab the sheets and rip them off the bed. Then I run out, almost bumping into the other boys. I dodge past them and run to Tamiyo. She's startled when I enter her safe space, but she takes the sheets without question. Then I hurry back to see Matsu.

Yuuma is still cleaning him off. The others are peering in, wondering what's going on. I push through them.

"Counselor Yuuma! Can I do anything else? Is there anything else I can do to help Matsu?" There has to be more I can do. There has to be some way I can truly help him. Some way I can prevent myself from being useless.

"Then... Please go tell Ana what happened. The rest of you, get new sheets from the closet in the bathroom and put them on Matsu's bed," Yuuma says, giving the others orders. I hurry off to tell Ana.

I hurry through the cafeteria and without hesitation, swing open the door to the kitchen. I'm immediately met with the scene of Ana stuffing her face with chocolate cake. Her eyes are wide as she stares at me, chocolate around her mouth. She quickly grabs a hand towel to wipe her face and hands off. She turns to me, trying to smile.

"Uh... Hello, there. Need something?" She asks.

I'm in disbelief for a moment. I wondered what she did in the kitchen all day but... Never mind, that doesn't matter right now. Yuuma told me to tell her about Matsu and his situation comes first!

I explain everything that happened. How Matsu didn't come to the cafeteria, how I found him sick and shaking, and how we all pitched in to help. Ana's expression turned more serious. When I was finished talking, she seemed to be lost in thought.

"I understand... I'll make a phone call to see what we can do for now," she says. She reaches for the landline phone connected to the wall. This camp is outdated...

She dials and I wait. She doesn't tell me to leave so it's probably fine. I want to see what the call is about and why Yuuma told me to tell her what happened. Someone picks up on the other end and Ana speaks.

"Yes, hello? This is Ana from the new rehabilitation camp for criminals. We request your services right now. The drug user has started going through withdrawal." Ana pauses for the answer. "Yes, it's heroin." Another pause. She grips the phone. "We can pay for it... I promise." Then the call ends.

Drug user... So that's probably part of why Matsu was acting so weird... And... It's heroin...? That's definitely addictive... Maybe he was caught with it and arrested... But he's been fine for the whole month, does that mean he still had some on his person...? They weren't able to find it and start the withdrawal treatment sooner...? How come they waited this long...? Did they not care about what would happen when he ran out on his own...? Because I'm sure he ran out and that's why he's like this today... That's... Unforgivable... If they just let it run its course without caring...

My fists clench at my sides. "You knew...?"

Ana turns around. "Hm?"

"You knew he had heroin but let him run out and start withdrawal before doing anything...?"

She looks conflicted. "Well... That's about right..."

Fury boils out of me. "Do you have any idea how scared I was for Matsu, seeing him sick and shaking like that!? He must be feeling completely awful right now!! But you didn't confiscate the heroin and get him help!? What's wrong with you!? What's wrong with this camp!? Do you not care about us, the criminals!? I thought this camp was supposed to be different...!!"

"Hold on, Akiara! Akiara, calm down! Please listen to me!" Ana put her hands up as if that'll calm me down.

"How are you going to explain!? By making up excuses!?"

"At least let me tell you what really happened!! Maybe you'll understand why we had to do it this way! Okay? So, can you calm down until I'm done talking?"

I shut my mouth to keep my anger in. I guess I have to listen to her. If she can explain, maybe I'll see why and understand. Only maybe.

Ana sighs once I've gone quiet. She puts her hands down. Her eyebrows are knitted together in concern. "When we checked if Matsu had any heroin on his person, we didn't find anything. We requested treatment for withdrawal. But we realized we couldn't afford the treatment. We pondered for a day to figure out what we could do. But then we realized Matsu still seemed high off his drugs. We shouldn't have let him keep his heroin, but it seemed like it could give us more time until we gathered enough funds for the treatment. We didn't know how much heroin Matsu had left so we didn't know when he'd go into withdrawal. We just hoped we could get enough money before then. But even though he's is going through it now... We don't have quite enough for the treatment..."

I pause. "So you lied that you could pay for it? What are you going to do about that now?"

"Well... I was going to talk to Yuuma about it so we could both think of something..."

If it's money they need for Matsu's treatment... If it's to help Matsu... I think of the lotion I received as a reward. I stole it a bit ago and it can go for a lot of money. I bet it'd help pay for the treatment. Now how to get them to sell it and use the money for this...

I have another question though. "Where has Matsu even been keeping the heroin...?"

Ana stares for a moment. "Uh... Well... Probably his... Anus..."

I stare back. "Oh..." Has he really had heroin up his butt this whole time...? Isn't that unsanitary...? He's definitely more interesting than I first thought...

I turn to leave. I'm coming up with an idea to get Yuuma to sell the lotion. I should go back to Matsu's cabin to check on him and talk to Yuuma.

"Akiara!" Ana stops me. "I'm sorry... I just want you to know that everyone who works here cares about you criminals... Especially Yuuma... He created this camp and I wanted to help him with it. We all want the best for all of you. We may have neglected Matsu, but I'd like to make sure he gets the help he needs now. And I want to make sure nothing like this happens in the future. Can you trust me on that?"

I hesitate. "...I'll think about it..." Then I leave the kitchen and go back to Matsu's cabin.

Ana sounded sincere... But the shock from Matsu is still deeply rooted in my heart. They really should have got him help sooner. But her explanation makes sense... And I feel I already understand that Yuuma cares for us. His eyes can't lie. It'd be refreshing if everyone had those same honest and sincere eyes.

I get back to Matsu's cabin and I see Matsu is situated in his bed with the covers up to his neck. Yuuma sits by his side on an upside-down laundry basket. Can it hold his weight...? That doesn't matter right now though. I look to my right and see everyone else standing by with somber expressions. Hisashi looks a little serious for once. Our eyes meet and he smiles brightly like usual, as if his other expression was never there at all. I slowly stand in line next to him since he's closest to me.

I gaze down at Matsu. He still looks in pain. Yuuma dabs his sweat and has a cold towel on his forehead. I grit my teeth, remembering that Ana and Yuuma didn't get him treatment sooner. Also if Yuuma knew Matsu could go into withdrawal any day, why didn't he react that much when he didn't come to the cafeteria on time? It makes me angry again. Isn't this serious? I can't imagine going through withdrawal myself, I'm glad I never have. But I've heard it's hell... Poor Matsu...

"I'm going to stay with Matsu for today," Yuuma speaks up. "The rest of you can have a free day. Ana will give you your meals at the same times as usual, but you can do whatever you want for the rest of the time. Within reason, of course. Follow the rules by staying in the camp or your sentence may be lengthened, or worse, you'll be sent to prison instead."

Yuuma's threat is serious. I doubt any of us want to go to prison—

"Oh? I wouldn't mind trying prison once~ I bet I'd have a lot of fun there~" Hisashi says next to me. I look up at him, completely baffled at his words. He only smiles, looking forward.

"What the hell are you talking about, bastard?" Kentaro says next to Hisashi. "Why do you have to say that shit right now?"

"Why? You want me to whisper it in your ear later~? Or maybe you'd help me experience the fun of prison if I dropped the soap in front of you~?"

"What the fuck!! You're disgusting!!" He recoiled away from Hisashi, bumping into Gin.

"Quiet," Yuuma said, silencing everyone. "Don't disturb Matsu. You may leave now."

Kentaro is right, what the fuck... Hisashi is insane. I think it's best to give up on him as a whole.

Hisashi shrugs like he didn't say anything wrong, Kentaro scowls at him, and Gin rubs his arm that got hit by Kentaro.

Hisashi begins leaving but he stops in front of me. He puts his hand on my head and ruffles my hair.