I flinch a little and that seems to silence the argument until a later time. 

The spy comes over and asks, “Are you feeling better?” There’s something about his tone, he’s so gentle as though he thinks I might break. 

I open my mouth to retort, ‘Of course.’ Snappily but a hoarse noise comes out. My voice is still raw and ragged. 

“I’m giving you some water.” The spy says his voice is melodious like no other trolls and I start to relax. I feel safe around him. He seems to sense this as when he returns he strokes my hair soothingly as I drink from the cup. 

“Do you want me to stay with you for a little bit?” He asks suddenly. I never considered that an option I assumed I’d be left alone and ignored again and to my embarrassment my face lights up. He chuckles and then to my shock plants a soft kiss on my forehead. 

“Okay sweet thing but you have to promise me something.” I suddenly feel my gut twist with anxiety and my heart starts pumping in my chest. “You have to tell me what happened at the pools.” 

I immediately try to say nothing but forget my voice is gone and slump defeatedly. I’m sure they will have come to their own conclusions by the time my ability to speak comes back and I don't. I don't know if it will suffice. I guess I should think of a better excuse while I have the chance.

I can’t say I’ve never done something like that before, especially recently after the accident…it’s not something I even really think about, I just do it on a whim. I have…medication for it. Multiple medications for multiple things I realize that I have been off for a long time and was now probably withdrawing from.

I lift my hands feeling them tremble and recall how off and sick I’ve been feeling. Every memory, sick thought, and ache coming back full force maybe even amplified. I've heard of that happening. I was warned not to get off my meds because something about it actually could make the depression and anxiety stronger then before I was on it.

‘Oh f... Can’t people die from going cold turkey for some things?’ I’m hyperventilating and suddenly the spy wraps his arms around me. I tense freaking out for a second having forgotten where I was and who I was with only recalling the smell of a hospital and the threats of being put away if I didn’t grit my teeth and pretend to be mentally stable. ‘Oh yes my mother just died and I lost my vision forever but I’m alright don’t worry about my sanity I’m a perfectly healthy amount of sad!’

I have a moment of clarity realizing I’m spirling, then I randomly remember my knife. I wish I could grab it’s comforting hilt but I don’t want them knowing I have it especially after they might start thinking I’m a danger to myself. I wince remembering how my dad caught me with the knife posed in an unexplainable position in front of the wall socket. Even though I reassured him that I’d only been being dramatic and promised I’d never attempt to do anything like that again. I had to beg him for hours and I’d still narrowly avoided being shipped off and locked up, something I just realized my stepmother never thought about I think bitterly.

'What would have been better? Death.' I think immediately, 'I hate being imprisoned.' 

I suddenly remember I have an audience when the spy wipes a tear away.

‘Crying again? Really?’ I curse and wipe my eyes only for the spy to make a very soft soothing noise and send a “welcome?” unexpected shiver up my thighs. 'Really what the hell is wrong with me?' He’s sexy sounding, and sweet, he obviously cares about me but I highly doubt he’ll want anything to do with me after what a terrible impression I’m leaving. Literally his very first introduction to me was that I was a liar and a bad one at that. 

He curls around me a bit more protectively and then says something in German that sounds concerned.

‘No, no don’t do that please let me know what you’re saying don’t leave me out.’ I force out even though it’s just air. Maybe something about my frantic gasps and fear reaches him.

“Poor thing,” he says finally, “It’s broken.” I tense up a little bit and then wait for any sign of disgust but he keeps gently stroking my arm and back in a manner I find insanely soothing. I press into him harder and letting out a shuddering breath force myself to keep back tears.

'Yeah I am, so what?' I think sassily. 'I’m still alive.'

I cough and the spy leans, making me scramble for a better hold thinking I was getting pushed off, like a clingy cat onto the floor but thankfully the spy restabilizes. He brings a cup to my lips, unfortunately from the nasty smell it’s medicine. I drink some anyway and feel icy heat on the back of my throat. It tingles but actually feels better. I try to drink more but he pulls it away.

I lay back against his chest heavily and listen to his heartbeat. There’s a soft annoyed growl of German and the chief abruptly jerks my face up to be looked at. The chief is apparently checking my tear swollen face. I muster up enough strength to glare, which is really stupid of course. He listens to me breathe and breathes in like he’s going to ask a question and stops. I lift my hand and to my surprise he lets me move his off of my jaw. Obviously surprised, I leave my hand on his wrist uninterested in letting go. 

“Is this my fault?” He asks and I feel a little shock in the back of my neck why the heck does he sound so guilty and concerned. But he’s not speaking to me, he’s looking up towards the spy. He’s crouched on the floor. 

“No.” The spy starts, “I’ve been watching the human and he’s been holding in a lot I’m assuming for a long time. Honestly I’m surprised at how strong he’s been, even defying you sometimes,” he chuckles, then his voice gets a dark growl, “But you definitely didn’t help. You’ve been cruel and stupid.”

I flinch as he insults the literal chief. Is the chief going to hurt him? His pride seems…sensitive to say the least. I don’t need to have sight to feel the tension of the two trolls gazes, staring each other down, neither willing to break until the first one blinks or looks away.

The spy lets out a warning growl and I hear the chief grumble in German for a good bit before he puts a hand on my back. I flinch and feel his hand wince a little but stay there, ‘Ha feel guilty you deserve to.’ I think. 

“You almost killed it because you were playing too rough.” The spy reminds

‘It?!’ I think, insulted lifting myself off of the spy to look up at him he looks down and then with the sexiest voice says, “Sorry,” then with a purposefully pause says, “I mean Ray.” 

I know heat rushes to my cheeks but I make sure to nod I’m not an it I have a name. He brushes his lips against my forehead again and I press up against it enjoying the tingles going through my neck to my skull threatening to go up and down my spine.

“Look at how well he responds to gentleness, he’s being so good.” I look down quickly, pressing my face into his chest as I cringe. I'm not into being called a good boy, at least I never liked it before but when I think about being squished between Kris and Sarah with them maybe whispering that in my ear. I fluster, what am I thinking?

I have another problem. With how the spy is locking me against him with his arms, my half hard um…appendage might start being noticeable especially if he keeps going. I press against him harder as he returns to stroking my back and thankfully the rushing blood in my ears fades a little at least enough.

“Apologize.” The spy growls suddenly venomously and I open my mouth quickly to obey.

That is, before I hear the chief let out a pained, “I’m sorry.”

I turn my face to look towards the chief. I know my expression must be fragile and confused cause that’s how I feel right now. The spy relaxes a little bit. He could be scary too I realized and then he lays me down beside him. I feel him curl up on my right. That meant. I feel the bed press down as the mostly silent chief lays on my left. 

I hate how much my body tenses. The spy pulls me closer to him whispering soothingly in my ear but I barely hear it. I still “feel” a certain way towards the chief and though I’m scared of his violent outburst and of hurting me for real I’m a little attracted towards the fear. I swallow and decide that this time I’m going to roll over. I feel my arms come up naturally and press into the soft troll.

He almost protectively wraps an arm around me and then plays with my hair. I close my eyes and let out a long sigh, as I feel my body relax I feel a twinge of fear and irritation at the involuntary tremors. I force a cruel and dark thought down but then immediately get pulled out of the dark place when the chief rolls over wrapping his arm over me as well. He speaks softly and I can almost barely make out the words.

“I never…I didn’t think…fun yeah…only…maybe a little angry…stupid…sorry.”

“Let him sleep,” The spy scolds, sounding almost asleep as well. He breathes a sigh, “You’re not going to change but promise him you’ll be more careful until he warms up to you.” 

The chief stiffened, “What do you mean I won’t change, are you saying I can’t.” He gets louder and I make an mph of protest.

“You’re doing it right now.” He chuckles which immediately de-escalates the situation. The chief takes a second to realize that he was getting angry and defensive again and then snorts but it somehow sounded embarrassed. He settles back down and to my horror presses his lips into the back of my neck causing my whole body to jerk. I’m suddenly glad my voice is gone. 

I cover my neck and press deeper into the spy who makes a noise welcoming and content. I don’t notice the silent exchange between the spy and the chief concern and jealousy but then a knowing wink and the chief being kept up for a while in confusion. Once he realized it though he couldn’t wait to test it out. “Later.” He tells himself. “Later and the wait will make it so much more worth it.”