"Not all who wander are lost."

Chapter 15: 
Lost

BELLAMY POV:

I was waiting in front of Clarke's tent, I leaned against a tree and observed the beautiful nature that surrounds us. Finn rushed out of her tent and I realized that's my cue. I walked in and found her crouched on the ground with her hands around her knees. I felt so furious and all i wanted to do is to punch the SpaceWalker right in the head. She was lightly sobbing. In the moment I both froze from the unknown feeling I got in my gut telling me I should help, but I didn't know how. She noticed me and brought her head high to catch my gaze. She then released it and brushed her sleeves against her watery eyes. 

''Clarke?'' I called out her name for a response.
She looked at me, her blue eyes were so broken. You could almost feel the sadness.

''What's wrong princess?'' I asked, wrapping my arms around her. She laid her head on top of my chest.

''Finn-'' She wanted to finish but couldn't from all the sobs. 

''Take a deep breath princess and then tell me what he did to you so I can kick his ass.'' In a most serious way. 

She let out a single giggle. ''Don't. He was right to say it all.'' 

''What did he say?'' I widened my eyes, waiting for the answer.

She shook her head. ''It doesn't matter, we can't keep doing this.'' Doing what? 

''You have me confused princess,what is it exactly that we're doing?'' 

''We're getting close,Bell.'' 

''And?'' I demanded her to continue. 

''And I know you don't have any feelings nor care towards me so we can't keep doing this. I can't be broken again.'' A single tear falls down her cheek ''I can't let myself break.'' She releases from my embrace. 

I feel hurt, like something is tightening my chest, the ability for me to breath is slowly fading and I don't know what's wrong with me. Is it a panic attack? 

''I'm sorry.'' She says as she gets up and walks over to the curtains of her tent to exit. I grab on to her hand, not wanting to let her go.

''Clarke-'' I could literally feel a pile of water filling up my eyes, but I don't let it show it. 

''Don't do this.'' I beg her.

''I am really sorry.'' She says as she walks away and disappears into the dark night. 

I exited her tent and went for a walk. I slipped away from the camp without anyone noticing and then roamed around the dark woods. It was chilly at this time of the night. I take it it was somewhere just before midnight now. It was pitch black but I needed some alone time and the darkness was the best choice. 
I guess losing a first real friend is harder than I thought so, plus she wasn't really my friend. I always saw her as something more.. 

***

A couple of hours later

***

I've been walking around for ages, I've tried finding an exit or a route to the camp but I wasn't able to. I'm lost, physically and emotionally. I'm not thinking straight. Why is it that this privileged Princess got into my head? She got under my skin. Clarke Griffin, how is it supposed to be now? Am I supposed to forget about everything we've done and every moment we've shared?

CLARKE POV: 

I went to Octavia, I couldn't go anywhere else. I've told her what happened between Bellamy and I. 
''Clarke is there something you're not telling me?'' O asked with a famous Blake smirk.

''No, I don't think so. Why?'' I lowered my head, now looking at the ground.

''Well firstly, I have never seen someone who cares so deeply for my brother, except of me of course. But beside me, you're the only one Clarke. He pushes everyone away, either that or he uses them for a one night stand. He let you stay tho.. without using you.'' She explained. 

''So? What are you saying? That I did wrong by letting him go?'' I asked, already feeling guilt.

''All I'm saying is that you two have something. And you shouldn't throw it away, no matter what Finn says. He can't tell you anything since he's not your brother nor a boyfriend!'' O was right. 

No matter what I do, I just can't shake him off. 

''I need to see him,O.'' I told her and she nodded with a slight smirk. I exited her tent and went into his, It was really late so he may be sleeping but we are more important than sleep, right? I rushed in expecting to see him in bed but instead of that I got to the empty sight. There was no trace of Bell. I began panicking, I ran back to O.

''O, he's not in his tent!'' She shot me a shocked yet more confused look.

''Where is he then?'' She was as clueless as I was.

''I don't know!'' I yelled. ''Okay, okay. Stop panicking! It's Bell, he's probably in someone's tent.'' I felt a hole open in my heart, I looked down at my feet, not wanting to meet her eyes. Seeing my reaction, she quickly rephrased it. 

"He's probably talking to someone about this?" She said confidently.

''Maybe, can you help me find him?'' I asked her desperately.

''He's my brother, it's kinda my job to know where he is at least.'' I nodded and she followed behind me as we walked out of the warm and cozy tent into the cold and chilly night. It was pitch black, if we didn't have the torches we wouldn't be able to see a finger in front of ourselves.

''You go left and I'll go right.'' She nodded and we separated in a desperate mission of finding someone who probably doesn't want to be found. 
I searched almost all the tents, the only ones left were Raven's and Finn's. I slowly entered Finn's trying to be as quiet as possible. Bellamy wasn't there and Finn was sound asleep. I then went to the Raven's tent, I found her awake and working on the radio. I tried not making any noise but due to my clumsiness,the curtain of her tent fell causing a big noise to make her turn around towards my direction. She did so, with a trace of fear but oddly enough, her eyes softened when seeing me. 

''I'm sorry. I'm looking for Bellamy.. He's missing.'' I told her.

''He's missing?!'' She sounded very worried, why???? 

''How can I help?'' She stood up immediately. 

''I guess you can help us search for him inside the camp but we had no luck yet.'' I looked down with disappointment. 

''Of course, I'll do my best.'' She said

''Hey Raven?'' She turned around. ''Thank you,so much.'' I smiled, it was a sad and a forced smile but a grateful one. 

''Of course.'' She smiled back and then ran in the different direction. 

I looked at my father's watch and it said 2 o'clock in the morning. Where could he be? It's late. I went to go find Octavia. 

''Any luck?'' 

''No.. he's no where to be found.'' 

''I'm worried O, I don't know him that well but I know he wouldn't just leave and not come back!''

''You're right.'' She stared at the night sky in confusion. Alone with her thoughts. In a moment she shook her head and spoke as if she may found an answer to our problem.

''He must be outside the gate!'' She exclaimed. I slowly realized he'd go outside for a walk whenever he needs his own, alone time. It made sense. I ran towards my tent and took a backpack with all of the survival essentials and headed towards the gate. Octavia started yelling at me.

''Clarke it's too dark! You might end up dead and then who will be the one that will wait for Bellamy when he comes home?'' 

''Well, O. If I do die then you can wait for him, but I'm not just gonna stand here doing nothing! I'm going after him!'' I yelled out at her. Raven appeared with a confused look on her face but then figured what was going on. 

''I can't lose him O.'' I cried out. 

''He can't lose you either Clarke.'' I nodded but then objected. 

''He won't. I'll find him. With or without you.'' I stomped on the wet grass and headed towards the main gate. I stopped in my tracks when a figure appeared in front of me. ''I'm coming with you.'' Scarlet, the grounder girl exclaimed. I took her arm in appreciation and nodded. 

We walked out of the camp. 

Bell, I'm coming for you.