….Thud….Thud….Thud….

The relentless thuds outside grew louder, creating a sharp contrast with the calmness inside my room as I struggled to catch my breath.

....Huff....

"Siis, are you alright?" Vivian's voice pierced through the haze of my thoughts.

My vision blurred, it's taking a moment to focus on their faces. It was just the four of them standing there, their expressions a mix of tears, confusion and concern. Their reactions brought me a strange sense of calm.

"Nothing happened. Just a nightmare," I finally managed to whisper, attempting to dismiss the lingering dread.

"But you have nightmares almost every day," Mom's voice cut through the air, sending a chill down my spine.

The sound of her voice, so familiar yet disorienting after the darkness turmoil, blurred the line between the dream world and reality. My throat parched, words caught in my chest, and a tremor ran through me. Instinctively, I reached for my neck, as my breath grew heavier, I started to remember the horror of my dream.

A sudden touch on my forehead jolted me back to reality. A warm hand gently stroked my head, and as I looked up, I met Vivian's gaze. Her eyes that always ask many unspoken questions, were now filled with deep concern.

A sigh of relief escaped me. "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Vivian's voice held a hint of worry.

"It's nothing," I reassured her before turning to Mom.

"It's nothing new. It's been a few years already. The little ones still aren't used to seeing me like this."

"If you say so, go back to sleep," Mom replied.

"Why?" Confusion crept into my voice.

"What do you mean, why? You only slept for half an hour. You still need another hour and a half of rest."

Her words resonated deeply, causing my mind momentarily to freeze. The dream hasn't finished. The looming return to that haunting dream weighed heavily on my mind.

"Absolutely no excuses this time. You were barely awake last time because you hadn't slept," Mom scolded sternly.

"Don't worry, Mom. I wasn't thinking that," I replied, mustering a smile.

I turned my head, questioning, "Who was in my room?”

"Oh, it's me. Yuriya forgot her toys in your room, so I came to get them and found you like this," Zain explained.

My gaze shifted to Zain. His eyes evaded mine, because he was lying. He had come for me, and the weight of his concern settled heavily on my shoulders. "Did it startle you?"

Zain remained silent, his honesty evident in his silence. I offered him a reassuring smile, "I'm okay."

Zain locked eyes with me, attempting to say something. However, Mom's voice interrupted his words, "Kids, let's go outside. Let your sister sleep.”

The four of them nodded simultaneously, but two pairs of eyes remained fixed on me, filled with concern. As Mom reached for the door to close it, she hesitated, gathering her thoughts. After a brief moment of silence, she finally began to speak.

"You know, you can talk to me. You always stay silent about your dreams."

"You've tried a few things before, but nothing has changed. And I'm used to it now," I responded, trying to smile and mask the weight of my words.

"But..."

"We already have other things to worry about. It's okay, I'm fine," I insisted, meeting her gaze unwaveringly.

Silence enveloped us for a moment as Mom searched my eyes. Without another word, she closed the door behind her.

I feared that she might see through the facade I presented. If she did, how would I react?

I felt a bitter urge to mock myself, but instead, tears began to fall. "Ha. Ha. Ha, sniff, sniff."

I curled up on my side, tears tracing a path down my cheeks. I knew the darkness of my dreams awaited me. Its grip tightening as soon as I closed my eyes.

Bound by darkness, it once again taken shape of my mom. Its hand on my throat,  tightened and relaxed its grip on me, teasing my existence. Each shallow breath felt like a struggle. 

Each breath might be my last that crossed my mind countless times. Yet, the darkness refused to grant me that final wish.

Mom urged me to open up, talk to her, revealing my dream to her, yet she was also a part of the tangled roots of my nightmares. A terrifying seed she unknowingly planted in me.

Halting my thoughts, I yearned for the dream to fade away.

When I awoke, dusk had settled. An hour and a half had slipped by, but in the depths of my dreams, it felt like an eternity.

...Haah...

With a heavy sigh, I resolved to rise, complete my homework, spend time with my siblings, and the uncertain embrace of the next dream.