After we outgrew our last friend group, Kairo and I decided that the two of us were enough for each other. Trying to fit in exhausted us, especially when we were made to feel like outsiders instead of part of the group.

Maybe it was the way we acted—the inside jokes we shared, the way we hugged each other so easily and held on just a little too long. You know, stuff that homies do. Kairo and I were comfortable enough that we never considered what we did as "gay" until someone in our last friend group pointed it out.

Kairo and I laughed so hard because we didn't care how people saw us, gay or straight. Two guys could have a deep connection as friends without anyone jumping to the conclusion that "they're definitely gay."

But something shifted one day.

It was the way I saw Kairo. You know how you can look at something plainly, but then, when the right amount of light hits it, you suddenly see the beauty you missed before? That's how I started seeing my homie Kairo. It was the gentle curve of his pouty lips and the mischievous glint in his blue eyes whenever I caught his attention.

I gave every meaningless thing he did a deeper meaning, but I always circled back to that one thing: friends. We were—just friends.

That Saturday afternoon, I woke up in Kairo's bed. My face was buried in his pillow—the red fabric soft against my skin, smelling like coconuts and fresh linen. Comforting scents I'd come to associate with Kairo. He was asleep on the floor, like he always was when I stayed over, and he never complained when I took over his king-size bed.

I grabbed the pillow next to me and swung it down, smacking Kairo right in the face. He grunted.

"Wake your bitch ass up. I'm hungry," I said.

Kairo snatched the pillow from his face and threw it back up into his bed. I hung over the edge, looking down at him.

"You're fucking annoying, Noah," Kairo muttered, sitting up and stretching his arms over his head. He sleeps without a shirt, just boxers. His long blond hair looked like a crazy mess. For a moment, Kairo just stares at me, and then he smiles—a half-sleepy one. Not fully awake, but in between, not wanting to be awake just yet.

"I see your lips moving, but I'm still not seeing you moving to make my food..."

Kairo finally dragged himself downstairs to the kitchen, where I was waiting. He touched my face, annoying me. I swatted at his hands.

"Did you wash your hands?"

He grinned. "Nope. Played with my balls too."

"Fucking gross, man." I roughly wiped at my face while he rummaged through the fridge.

"What do you wanna eat?"

"McDonald's."

"You're a fat fuck."

"Your lips are moving, but I don't see you ordering it."

Kairo sighed, grabbed my phone, and put the order in through Uber Eats. We ended up parked on the sofa, watching Jujutsu Kaisen while we waited. Kairo's been trying to get me into anime forever, and though it's not my thing, I still watched it with him because that was our thing—sharing moments, even the boring ones.

I was laid back on the sofa, hugging a pillow with my legs thrown up in Kairo's lap. I didn't realize I was staring at Kairo again, this time a little longer, until he pushed his hair out of his face. That familiar feeling crept up again. The way he looked. He was hit with just the right amount of lighting, and Kairo became something more than he was—it was almost dangerous. And it scared the hell out of me.

There was something deeper my mind wanted to explore, a line I hadn't yet crossed, and it was there, tempting me.

Kairo caught me staring. I quickly turned away, my face heating up. He asked me what I was looking at, but I brushed him off, telling him I was going to grab the food when it arrived.

When I got the food, we ate in comfortable silence until I stole two of Kairo's nuggets and put them into my Big Mac.

"You really are a fat fuck," Kairo said, but there was a hint of playfulness in his voice.

"Fat-shaming isn't nice."

"Then stop being a fat fuck."

"Tell it to yo mama, bitch."

He didn't finish his food, so I ate the rest of it. Okay, maybe I was a fat fuck, but I wasn't letting good food go to waste.

We fell into our usual rhythm—teasing, laughing, and talking about nothing important. Kairo mentioned some dating mixer he got invited to and begged me to go with him. I teased him, saying he couldn't talk to girls without me, but we both knew it was the other way around. He was the smooth one, the one who could talk to anyone. I was the one who froze up whenever a girl tried speaking to me. Lame.

So yeah, out of the two of us, Kairo was the cool one.

When Kairo's older twin brothers came home in the evening, we bounced to Arjun's house. Now, I didn't know Arjun—I only knew him through word of mouth from Kairo. They were in the same photography class. Arjun was a tall Indian guy with bright blue hair who wore too much eyeliner.

The three of us sat on Arjun's bedroom floor. Shouting could be heard from downstairs—his dad and uncles watching a football game (not American football).

Arjun was showing us a vintage camera he bought off eBay. Kairo geeked out over the body, all the insides, and how it was still better than newer models that were made to replace it.

Shit's pretty boring to me.

There's a brief moment Kairo makes a joke about me to Arjun, and I'm like, fucking really? Arjun laughed, and I fake laughed, punching Kairo in the stomach.

Arjun's mother was nice, with the sweetest smile that made you feel welcome in her home. She brought us cut-up fruit and snacks and stayed to chat with us for a bit. Arjun was embarrassed by his mother sticking around. His accent was deep, thick, and heavy as he thanked her for the snacks before pushing her out the door. Kairo and I yelled our thanks before Arjun closed it.

There was a bin of vinyl records next to Arjun's bed, so I dug through it. A few rock bands I recognized because my younger half-brother played them: Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Jimi Hendrix, and Queen.

At some point, Kairo showed us a picture of a girl on his phone. She was Asian, tan-skinned with dark, wavy hair.

"She's pretty, right?" Kairo asked.

"Wow, she's a babe," Arjun said.

"She's okay looking," I said.

Kairo and Arjun shared a look.

"What?" I grabbed a sliced apple from the tray on the floor with us.

Geez, not everyone has to have the same taste in girls.

"Anyway, who is she?" Arjun took Kairo's phone to get a better look.

"Sonni," he said.

I reached over and snatched Kairo's phone to get a better look at this girl. And of course, she was the pretty-girl type, maybe spoiled too. Looked short. Kairo's weakness.

I tossed Kairo his phone. He fumbled to catch it, and it fell to the floor with a soft thud. "Like I said, she's okay looking."

Arjun laughed and jabbed me in the ribcage with his sharp elbow. "Are you jealous?"

Maybe he meant it as a joke, and I should just take it as one.

"Hell yeah," I said, chewing a piece of the apple. "She might be taking my best friend away."

We left Arjun's house and wandered down to a nearby park. Kairo and Arjun dragged me down the slide, laughing their asses off as I cursed them out. Then Kairo found a dead bird, and the mood shifted. It reminded him of his childhood chick, Peanut, that his twin brothers had killed because they wanted fried chicken.

Arjun talked a lot. He would switch between English and his native language whenever he got excited about something, and he talked with his hands, too. He was like a ball of light—too energetic, jumping from one place to another, one topic to the next.

Now he'd moved on to me, especially after Kairo went off into the bushes to take a piss.

"Noah, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. It came out so dry, but for some reason, I didn't want to be talking to Arjun without Kairo around.

He motioned between himself and me. "We can be friends?"

He didn't seem to notice when I inched away. Nothing against him—I just didn't see myself having another friend. Kairo was enough.

Kairo rejoined us, wiping his hands on my T-shirt. I hoped to God it was water and not his piss... By the end of the night, Arjun had to head home. Even though he was twenty-something, he still had a curfew.

"You think Arjun is cool?" Kairo asked, oblivious to the shift in my mood.

"Cool? No."

Kairo threw his arm around me, pulling me close, our steps syncing up like they always did when we walked side by side.

"I think he's pretty cool," Kairo shrugged.

"Marry him then." I rolled my eyes.

Kairo shot me a look, smirking like he had something up his sleeve. "You've been a little bitchy today. You need to get your dick sucked or something?" His voice dipped, turning sleazy as he made some ridiculous slurping noises.

I side-eyed him, trying to hide my grin. "You offering?"

"For a hundred bucks, I'll do whatever, baby."

"Hmm, a cheap whore."

He laughed. "Like your mom?"

"Ha ha, funny."

Just as we stepped inside Kairo's house, his twin brothers, Hayden and Hunter, ambushed us. Built like linebackers, they loomed in front of the staircase, arms folded across their broad chests, blocking our way up.

The TV in the living room blared with some old rerun of Jerry Springer, the audience chanting, "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"

"Well, look at the two lovebirds," Hayden mocked, making a kissy face.

"You two sneak off to fuck?" Hunter added, a stupid grin plastered on his face.

Kairo, always quick with a comeback, rolled his eyes. "At least one of us is getting ass."

Hayden swatted Hunter's shoulder with an exaggerated slap. "See? Told you he was gay!"

"Are you gay?" I asked Kairo, playing along with his brothers' stupid game.

"Shut the fuck up, Noah." He shot me a glare, but there was no real heat behind it.

I crossed my arms, pouting. "I just wanna know who my best friend is. If we're keeping secrets from each other, are we even best friends?"

Hunter and Hayden's eyes flicked back and forth between us, clearly intrigued by the banter.

Kairo slapped his hand over my mouth, pushing past his meat-headed brothers. "Get the fuck outta our way," he grumbled, pulling me up the stairs. Behind us, the twins bickered over Kairo's sexuality, too entertained by their own nonsense to bother stopping us.