The ball, the eyes, the scream… As Natsume was deep inside the darkness, all those things repeated in front of her eyes again and again. She tried to wake up, but she felt so tired and in pain to do anything. In her dreams, she closed her eyes with all her strength, still hearing her name being screamed.

Natsume had a hard time opening her eyes. There was a lot of light at that place. She didn’t know where she was, but she was lying somewhere. As her eyes adapted to all that light, she distinguished a big window in front of her with blue curtains and a soft sheet covering her body. She understood then that she was lying on a bed. The place was peaceful and she could only hear some faint voices outside. Natsume was still confused and tried to stand up, but her body felt weak.

-Oh, you are finally awake.

The girl heard a familiar voice next to her. Natsume turned her head around and saw Elima siting on a chair next to her bed. She smiled gently, but the girl felt a bit of concern in her eyes.

-Where… am I…?- asked Natsume.

-In a hospital. You fell unconscious after the battle yesterday- explained Elima.

-The… the battle?- asked Natsume. Her head was still fogged, but she felt unrest somehow. As she tried to sit up straight, the commander helped her and put a cushion in her back. -I, yesterday… what happened?

-Is that a real question?- asked Elima. -Don’t you really remember what happened?

Natsume was still confused and didn’t understand what the commander meant. Then, she took her arms out of the sheets. She was shocked to find them all covered in bandages, and even with all that, she felt a slight burn sensation on them. Later, the girl noticed her legs were covered as well. She looked at her hands. A flash came to her minds: her hands were covered in goo.

The girl opened her eyes in shock as more images returned to her mind: the fight, the strange dream, the goo, her attacks, Elima calling her and Life Eater lying on the ground. Elima just needed to look at her pale face to understand.

-So… you remember now, do you?- asked Elima.

It was then that Elima saw something that she had never seen since meeting Natsume. As pure horror appeared on her face, the girl’s hands trembled and tears appeared on her eyes. Natsume simply sobbed and said:

-No… no… not again…

Elima remained silent for a moment. Natsume needed time to accept the situation, but it broke her heart seeing that young girl suffering that much. The girl didn’t say anything, she just sobbed a bit more for a while.

-Well, you understand now… I… I don’t know what to say… I believe it’s the first time I have seen something like this...- said Elima. -And honestly, I… don’t know what to do. I tried to understand you and understand your goal, but what happened… It’s too much. You… may not like what I’m about to say, but… For that reason, I… I’m taking you out of the tournament.

Those words made Natsume go back to reality. She looked at the commander in shock.

-What? Why?- asked Natsume nervously.

-Are you serious? You went berserk out there, you could have seriously harmed your rival or any other creature in the place. And your power… it’s dangerous for others and yourself! Just look at your body! The burns were light and they could be healed, but if your power changes again that way, it may put your life at risk. I just… can’t allow it. I can’t allow your presence in this tournament, not while you pose a threat- explained Elima with a stern voice.

Natsume listened to all those words. She understood every single one of them, she understood what Elima was trying to say… but she panicked. Leaving the tournament meant losing her wish. Thinking that made her anxious.

-No… no, please! Don’t do that! I...- tried to beg Natsume, but as she tried to crawl closer to Elima, she fell on the bed.

-Wait, what are you doing? You need to rest- said Elima worried.

The commander lent a hand to Natsume to help her, but instead, the girl grabbed it with her two hands. Elima could feel her hands shaking. As the girl raised her head, she revealed her eyes was full of tears.

-Please… please, I… I need it… please- begged Natsume.

Once again, a reaction Elima didn’t expect out of the girl. Natsume kept begging over and over, and the commander remained in silence, looking at the young person holding her hand with sadness. Elima grabbed Natsume’s hands softly and help her sit up again.

-OK, calm down… Try to relax, OK?- murmured Elima with a soft voice while the girl removed her tears, but kept sobbing. -Is that wish… Is it that important for you to… erase your mind?

Natsume didn’t say a word, but nodded slightly. Her eyes were a bit red. Elima sighed.

-Look, I… I really want to help you, but you put me in a dire situation. I can’t just allow you to do whatever you want. If you are so keen in destroying yourself, you need to tell me why you are doing this. The only way I’m allowing you to remain in the tournament is by telling me the truth- insisted Elima.

-Why?- asked Natsume.

-I told you, the danger...- tried to answer Elima.

-No! I mean, why?- interrupted Natsume. -Why are you insisting so much in knowing all that? Why are you insisting so much in helping me? Why are you worried about someone like me?

Those questions took Elima by surprise. Both of them remained silent for a moment. Then, Elima took her pendant out of her armor plate and opened it. She looked at it for a few seconds and smiled gently.

-OK… let’s make a deal- proposed Elima. -If you tell me your story, not only will I allow you to remain in the tournament… but I will also tell you why I want to help you as well. Seems like a fair deal, don’t you think?

Natsume slowly turned her eyes towards Elima. She was smiling gently and her eyes show the honesty of her words.

-Do you promise?- asked Natsume with low voice.

-I give my word as a royal knight- assured Elima.

Hearing those words relieved Natsume to some extent. The girl took a deep breath.

-You remember I told you about soccer, right? That it is a sport in my world- said Natsume and Elima nodded in agreement. -In my preparatory… where I study, I was part of the soccer club with some friends. We trained a lot and enjoyed soccer. We were good and we won most matches. Everything was fine, but one day… my partners complained about me. They said I was “hogging” the ball, that I was not playing as a team, that I went solo most of the times… I… I wasn’t aware of that, I just… wanted us to win the matches. I always promised them that it wouldn’t happen again, but… unconsciously, I did the same again and again. My friends were frustrated, but didn’t say anything else… That was… until the last match…

“We were playing against a school from another region, and they were good. Very good. Both in attack and defense. It was a very tough match, but we got to tie. Each team had one point. There were 5 minutes left and Izanami, our captain, reunited the whole team.

-OK, listen me very well- said Izanami, a tall girl with short brown hair. -We are tied and, honestly… we are all tired. It’s been hard to keep up on them. We can’t go through their defense again, and if we don’t focus on defending ourselves, we may lose… So we are getting back. Forget about the offense and focus on interrupting passes and blocking the way. We can’t allow them to get to the goal. Got it?

I could hear her saying all that and explaining our strategy… but my eyes were focused on the timer. Seeing those 5 minutes made me… anxious.

-5 minutes?- I thought to myself. -That’s too close… If we don’t do something, we will lose. Even if we tie… no, that can’t happen. 5 minutes is enough. If I take the ball, I can… I can score. I know I can, I just… need the ball…

We resumed the match. I remember running around, looking for the ball. There was a lot of people around me, but I just wanted the ball… and I saw it. It was right there, like… calling for me. My vision was blurry, but the ball was crystal clear. So I rushed. I remember… stomping onto something, but I got the ball and run to the other goal. Their defense tried to stop me, but I moved swiftly between them. I kicked the ball with all my strength… and I scored.

I heard the whistle. The match was over. I remember feeling… relieved.

-We… we won… Thank goodness, we won…

That sensation lasted just a few seconds, because…

-NATSUMEEEEEE!

Someone shouted my name. I turned around and it was Izanami. She was coming at me, but she was angry.

-What the hell is wrong with you?- shouted Izanami as she pushed me.

-W… what?- I asked surprised. I didn’t know why she was that angry. -What do you mean? I scored, we… we won.

-”We won”?- repeated Izanami. -Do you call this “winning”? Do you think you can do something like this and everything’s OK?

-Wait, what are you talking about?- I asked. I was getting more nervous.

-You don’t really know? I’m talking about this!- exclaimed Izanami.

The captain pointed at her back and I moved my head to take a look. That was when I saw it: the whole team was gathered around one girl with black hair and short pigtails. She was Sachiko Hiraoka, or Sacchan as everybody calls her. She’s been my best friend since… since I can remember. She was sitting on the grass, her hands covering her left ankle. It was red and swollen. I was in shock.

-Wait, what happened to Sacchan?- I asked worried.

-Are you serious? You happened!- exclaimed Izanami angrily. -She had the ball, but you rushed and took it from her, and that was when you kicked her ankle!

-Wait, what are you saying? I would never harm Sacchan…

I tried to reply. I tried to complain. I tried to deny it… but it all came to my mind. The blurry scenes I saw were now clear. The captain was right: Sacchan had the ball and I went to her. And the bump I felt… it had to be when I kicked her foot. When I realized that, I looked at Sacchan and she looked at me. There were a few tears on her face, but those eyes… She was suffering… I was horrified.

-I… I’m sorry- I muttered. -Sacchan, I…

-Don’t you dare to get close to her!- yelled Izanami as she blocked me.

-No, wait...- said Sacchan from afar.

-You have said enough, Sacchan- exclaimed Izanami angrily. Then, she looked at me and sighed. -You know… it’s enough. We put up with you so far because well, you always promised you would change. And we still trusted you would do one day. But this? You went too far this time. I’m sorry, Natsume, but… you are out of the team.

Those words… I felt a big pain. I looked at them all, but nobody looked back at me again. The other girls helped Sacchan to stand up and they left walking.

-But… but I...- I muttered.

-Look, just… return the outfit when you can, OK?- asked Izanami a bit sad. -You… you can keep the sweater if you want…

And then, she left too. I was left alone in the middle of that field. I couldn’t believe what happened.

-But I… I won...- I muttered.

But actually, I lost. I lost the only reason I had to keep going. And after that… everything went downwards. My grades got worse, I stopped going to school and my parents got angry at me. I began having nightmares every single night and I could barely sleep, so I went out at night… and got into fights. I knew things were bad, but I just… didn’t know what to do. I just wanted everything to be over”.

Silence filled the room after Natsume finished her story. Elima looked at the girl with sadness.

-Wow, I… I’m sorry- said Elima. -So you want to erase your mind to… forget all that…

-Not just that- said Natsume. -With no memories, I won’t remember what happened. With no emotions, I won’t feel this pain anymore. With no consciousness, I won’t notice how everybody looks at me. And with no will, my parents can do with me whatever they want and I won’t cause any more problems. That is what I deserve.

Elima now understood Natsume’s wish. Because of her mistake, she blamed herself and believe that the only way to fix everything was removing herself from the equation.

-Look, I… I have lived through so many hard situations in my life and I have seen creatures with all kinds of stories. You probably think I don’t see yours as a big problem but… I understand you- explained Elima. -You went through different experiences and something like this can be painful in its own way. I can see how much you have suffered. Thank you for telling me.

The commander rested a hand on Natsume’s shoulder, who got a bit teary and sobbed a little bit.

-Still… now that I know this… I still believe your wish is too extreme- said Elima, making Natsume look at her. -I mean, I can see different options at your disposal to fix your problem. For example, you can make everybody forget about what happened so you can go back. Or you can directly ask to return to the team. Or even better, you could ask to go back in time and avoid the accident! It would create an alternate timeline, but it’s possible. Even with the limits, the wish can help you in different ways.

-No… That’s not good...- answered Natsume with sadness. -Because all those things mean… that I would manipulate them and… it was my mistake. They shouldn’t pay for my mistake. This is the only solution. I’m just accepting the consequences of my actions.

Elima felt a bit of pain in her heart when she heard those words. She could see that Natsume was not a bad girl, and still, she was punishing herself so much while not wanting to cause any problem to others. The commander was speechless and both remained silent for a while.