The cold night air hit Kai like a punch when the door slammed shut behind Alex. For a moment, he just stood there, frozen in place, his heart racing, his chest tight. The last thing he’d wanted was to push Alex away. The last thing he’d wanted was for things to escalate to the point where Alex was running, shouting at him, shutting him out. 

But that was exactly what had happened. Kai stood there, the sound of Alex’s footsteps fading into the distance, swallowed by the hum of the city and the night around him.

"Shit," Kai muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair. 

The panic hit almost immediately. The thought of Alex out there, drunk, alone, angry—it was a nightmare. A cold sweat prickled his skin, and he forced himself to move, grabbing his jacket off the couch. 

He wasn’t going to let this sit between them. Not like this.

---

Kai had no clear direction in mind, but he knew he couldn’t stay in the apartment. He grabbed his keys and headed straight for the front door, hoping to catch a glimpse of Alex on the street, but he was already gone, nowhere in sight. The streetlights cast long shadows over the sidewalk, and the night felt eerily still—except for the pounding of Kai’s heartbeat in his ears.

He didn’t know where Alex might have gone. The bar, maybe? Or somewhere they used to go when they wanted space. It didn’t matter. He was going to find him. He had to.

---

The first place Kai checked was the park a few blocks from their building. It was a place they had both gone to in the past when they needed to clear their heads. He found nothing but the quiet rustle of leaves in the wind, the soft buzz of streetlights flickering in the distance. He wasn’t there.

He kept walking. Down streets, past the coffee shop they sometimes studied at, through the familiar spots where they’d spent hours talking about everything and nothing. It was late—too late—and most of the world was asleep, but Kai couldn’t stop. His legs moved faster, his mind racing with a thousand thoughts. Was Alex okay? What if he was hurt? What if—

A few blocks away, down an alleyway behind an old bookstore, Kai spotted him. 

Alex was leaning against a brick wall, his arms wrapped around himself as if trying to hold onto some semblance of control, but everything about his posture screamed that he was falling apart. He was staring at the ground, his body swaying slightly as though the alcohol was still working its way through him, the faint glow of the streetlights catching on his features.

Kai felt a rush of relief and anxiety in equal measure. He took a deep breath and stepped forward, careful not to startle him.

"Alex," Kai’s voice was softer than he’d meant it to be, cracking a little with the weight of everything that had just happened. "Alex, hey, it’s me."

Alex didn’t move at first, didn’t acknowledge him, but after a long moment, his head slowly tilted up, his gaze unfocused and glassy. There was something broken in his expression that made Kai’s stomach tighten with regret.

"Why the hell did you run off like that?" Kai asked, his voice barely above a whisper, but there was an edge to it. He wasn’t angry anymore—not really—but the hurt was still there, sharp beneath the surface.

Alex didn’t answer right away. His lips were pressed together, like he was trying to hold everything in, the storm of emotions swirling just beneath the surface. His eyes flicked over to Kai, just for a second, before looking away again.

"I couldn’t... I just couldn’t breathe, Kai," Alex said finally, his voice small and unsteady. "I don’t know what to do anymore. Everything’s a fucking mess, and I’m just... I’m so tired of pretending like I know what I’m doing. Like I can make things right."

Kai felt his heart break a little at the words. Alex was a mess—he could see it now, in the slump of his shoulders, the way his words stumbled over each other like they were too heavy to carry.

"You don’t have to have it all figured out," Kai said, stepping closer. "You don’t have to do it alone, Alex. I’m here. We’re in this together, remember?"

Alex shook his head slowly, his eyes closed, as if trying to block out the truth of Kai’s words. "I don’t know if I can keep doing this. I don’t know if I can keep pretending I’m okay with everything, with… with us. It’s too much. I can’t breathe. And you..." Alex’s voice cracked, like the weight of it was too much for him to handle. "You deserve someone who knows what the hell they’re doing, someone who has their shit together. Not me."

Kai’s chest tightened. He was right there in front of Alex, so close, but it still felt like there was a world between them. It hurt more than he could explain.

"Listen to me," Kai said, his voice firm now, the anger from before gone but replaced by something more desperate, more raw. He moved closer to Alex, stepping into his personal space, not caring about the distance anymore. "I don’t need you to have everything figured out. I just need you to be here with me. I need you to stop running away from us, from whatever this is between us. You don’t get to push me away, Alex. Not like this."

Alex’s eyes were still downcast, his jaw clenched tightly, his whole body wound up tight, like he was waiting for something to explode. Kai could see how badly Alex wanted to pull away, to shut him out. But Kai wasn’t going to let him.

"You’re not alone in this," Kai said again, this time softer. "I don’t know what the hell I’m doing either, but we’ll figure it out. Together. That’s all I need you to understand."

There was a long pause. A heartbeat of silence, and then Alex finally lifted his head, his eyes meeting Kai’s. The rawness in his expression was almost too much to bear. He was broken, but in that moment, Kai saw the way Alex was looking for a lifeline, a reason to hold on.

Alex’s lips parted, and for a moment, it seemed like he was going to say something else. Instead, he took a shaky breath, his voice barely above a whisper. "I’m scared, Kai. I don’t know what happens next, and I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t want to lose you."

Kai stepped forward, closing the distance between them. "You won’t lose me," he said, his voice steady but full of warmth. "Not if you stop running."

Alex blinked back tears, the frustration, fear, and guilt all crashing down on him in waves. But Kai was there. Right there in front of him. And in that moment, that was all that mattered.

Kai reached out, pulling Alex into a hug, holding him tight, not letting go. Alex stiffened for a second, hesitant, unsure, but then slowly, reluctantly, he melted into the embrace, his arms wrapping around Kai’s back.

They didn’t speak for a while, the weight of the night still hanging between them, but in that moment, it didn’t matter. They were there—together. And that was enough for now.