"It's that bad??" I exclaim. I thought we got past the vomiting! At least, he hasn't thrown up for a day or so... What can I do?? It's not like I can magically make the weather clear up...

There's more thunder, sounding louder. Matsu squeezes his eyes shut and covers his ears with his hands.

"I-I don't like this... I-I don't want to feel sick anymore... I-I don't want to be scared a-anymore..." He started talking to himself.

"Matsu, it's okay! It's just weather!" I say, trying to make him feel better.

He shakes his head. "I-I don't want to be out in the c-cold anymore... I hate i-it... I hate it..."

I'm stunned when a tear slips down his cheek. He's crying?? Whatever memories are plaguing him, are really bad... What should I do? What can I do?? Then there's more thunder and he hiccups and cries more.

"Matsu...!" I stand up. Then I just feel like I want to wrap him in my arms and shield him from all the pain in his heart. I kneel on the bed and hug him.

He seems startled. I hold him tight. "It's alright..." I say. "It's going to be alright..."

Then, for a while, as the storm continues on outside, I hold Matsu as I close my eyes. He doesn't move and lets me hold him. His crying stops.

I eventually open my eyes to look at him. I realize his face looks calmer, his eyes still closed. Is he... asleep...? Now I'm unsure what to do.

I carefully position myself to sit more comfortably on the bed. I let Matsu lay on me as he sleeps. I brush his purple hair behind his ear. Then, without meaning to, I fall asleep too.

As I wake up, I yawn and stretch my arm that isn't holding Matsu. I blink, trying to wake up completely. It sounds like the storm has let up. I don't hear thunder or rain anymore. I look down at Matsu. He's clutching my shirt.

"Matsu?" I ask gently.

He jumps and opens his eyes. He quickly gets off of me. Huh? What's up? Did I wake him up?

"S-Sorry..." he quickly says. "I-I didn't mean to cry l-like that... O-Or fall asleep when you were c-comforting me..." He fidgets nervously.

I feel like he has some strange worries... "It's alright," I smile. "If you got it out of your system and slept well, then that's all that matters."

I get off of the bed and stretch again. I look up at the clock on the wall. "It's about lunch time. And it seems like the storm has cleared up. I'll go get our lunch," I say, before grabbing the plate from breakfast and leaving.

As soon as I'm outside and I've closed the door behind me, I stop and rest my hand on the wall. What the hell... He's so cute... It was so nice holding him and sleeping with him... And I feel like... He might have actually been awake when I woke up... But he kept laying on me... Isn't that the cutest thing in the world!? I thought I was gonna die... But I held it together... Hopefully he didn't notice how happy I was... This is bad. If he gets any cuter, I'll want to attack him. Of course I won't if he doesn't like it, but still... I have the urge deep within me.

I go to take the plate to Ana and get our lunch after I've calmed down. Yuuma briefly asks how things are going and I say it's fine. I don't tell him about Matsu crying. That's a bit personal and embarrassing...

"I'll clean you up after we eat," I tell Matsu when I get back. He nods.

We eat in silence. Then I set the plates aside. Matsu moves the blanket and I help him strip down to his underwear. Oh no... I'm conscious of my attraction towards him again... No, no, begone worldly desires. Matsu is your patient right now. You're only here to help him get better. I begin wiping his arm down with a wet washcloth.

"....y-you probably thought I o-overreacted during the storm..." he suddenly says.

I look up at him, surprised. Then I look back down at his arm and keep cleaning. "Well... You probably have your reasons..."

He's quiet for a moment. "I-I've been very fortunate... C-Coming to this camp..."

"Huh? But you got arrested to come here." I grab his other arm to clean.

"Y-Yes but... To be h-honest... I was homeless... b-before coming here..."

I freeze. I look up at him. He has a somber expression.

"I-I lived in an orphanage my w-whole life... Until I t-turned 18... Then I h-had to leave... B-But I had no home and n-no job. I had to l-live on the streets u-until I could find a job a-and make enough money to g-get a place to stay... B-But while on the s-streets... I-I got addicted to heroin and... N-No one would accept me a-as an employee..." He explained a bit of his life.

I didn't even realize... I mean, he did look homeless when he first came to the camp... but I didn't think he was actually homeless... Getting arrested and coming to this camp was a really positive thing for him. While I thought it was the worst thing to ever happen to me...

"W-While living homeless," he continued, "I lived w-with the others who w-were homeless too. They i-introduced me to heroin. It was t-to make our lives a b-bit easier... But s-still, being homeless was h-hard... I was e-exposed to the harsh w-weather every single day... A-And so... I especially h-hate thunder that is loud and s-scary. Weather can be v-very scary... I thought it w-would be fine now t-that I have a roof over my h-head. But... the sound... i-it's still scary..."

I continued wiping him down as he spoke. My heart hurts...hearing his story... I had no idea he went through that. I bet weather is more scary once you're forced to be stuck in it every day. I'm very lucky to have a house, even if my parents don't take care of it... I should at least be grateful they have a house we can live in... But I can easily see them losing the house in some way.

"I'm sorry, Matsu... I had no idea..." I say. "How long did you have to live like that?"

"T-Two years... Then I c-came to the c-camp... B-But it felt longer than that..." he replied.

"That's awful... I can't imagine everything you went through..." I let go of him since I was done wiping him down. I get clean clothes and help him put them on. I help him with his shirt. "But... Is it alright to tell me all this?"

Once the shirt is over his head, our eyes meet. "Y-Yes... I-It's not something I'm n-necessarily hiding... But I felt I-I could tell you..."

I help him with his pajama pants. "I see..." I say, though I don't understand. I didn't need an explanation for his behavior today, he didn't owe me one. But I do like learning more about him...

"Y-You're taking care of me... S-Showing concern even though w-we're not close... Y-You're very kind, A-Akiara."

I stare at him, processing his words. He says that but... Haven't I had my mind in the gutter? If he learned that, could he still say this? I feel guilty... I can't agree with him because of this... I go back to my seat.

"Thanks... And thanks for telling me about yourself. I'm glad you can live comfortably now. And we'll get you through the rest of your withdrawal, ensuring everything is even more comfortable," I smile.

Matsu smiles kindly. "Y-Yes. Thank you."

His smile... Like when he was high... But this time he's sober and it's completely genuine... I have to look away. He's too bright... He's too cute... I feel that he's so pure that I might accidentally taint him... I must keep my distance...

A few more days passed. Matsu's legs felt better so I took him on walks to help. He could then shower by himself. He became a lot better; eating every meal enthusiastically, smiling brightly at me when we talk, and moving around normally after his withdrawal had hit him hard. I'm so happy to see all of it.

(July 15)
"A-Akiara... Will you s-sleep with me...?"

I'm stunned by Matsu's sudden request. My heart races, trying to figure out what he means. Like...do the nasty....? Or....? I said I wouldn't!! But this is so tempting!!

"I-I feel like I'll sleep b-better next to you..." he adds.

Nope. He does not mean what I think he means. Time to kill off my dirty thoughts before I get in trouble. We already know I'm probably going to hell, but I don't need to add more to my list of sins.

"Sure... Let's sleep," I try to smile.

I climb into bed with him. The lights are out and now it's just me and Matsu, under the blankets. He's warm as he snuggles against me. Even if I'm going to hell, this feels like heaven right now. I stroke his hair and hold him close.

We drift off to sleep. It feels better to hold someone while going to sleep. I feel much more relaxed and comfortable. If I could always hold Matsu, I'm sure I'd get the best sleep forever. But that's impossible to do... right?

(July 16)
In the morning, we're awoken by the whistle. I should get up and get our breakfast. But when I look over at Matsu, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he's so cute. I want to keep lying here forever. I push his hair behind his ear. He looks up at me with his warm yellow eyes. I smile, still slightly under the influence of sleep. I lean over and kiss his forehead. He looks shocked when I pull away. I'm completely awake now.

"Oh. I. Uh," I stutter. "Sorry—"

"Akiara..." Matsu says my name. Then he grabs my face and leans in close. Our lips touch.

Huh? What's this? It's so... nice... I grab him and kiss him back. Everything in this moment feels right. Like everything built up to this moment. When I first came to help him, our conversations, even if I had to force them at first, him crying and me holding him until he fell asleep, him opening up to me about his past, his improvement since then, and now, his lips against mine. I could only dream of a perfect moment like this before. Yet it's happening to me right now and I feel like I'm walking on air.

We part. Matsu and I stare into each other's eyes.

"A-Akiara..." he speaks. "I think... I-I like you..."