Aadhira stood by the window, exhaling smoke from her cigarette, and said,

"Kiara! Don't ask me when, why, or how anymore."

Sanaya replied, "No! It's not Kiara asking, it's me, your best friend."

I studied Sanaya's face. There was no expression on it, but somehow, I knew that Aadhira was afraid to tell the truth. I stopped Sanaya and said, "Let it go, Sanaya. It happened, but it was just on the cheek. We call that the first kiss."

Sanaya laughed and said, "Aadhira and the cheek?"

Aadhira looked at me as if to say, "Stop lying." I told Sanaya, "You don't know, Aadhira is really shy, inside..." and I told another lie for her.

Sanaya laughed and said, "Shy? I used to think that too, but your story, that towel that was left unfinished—what did Aadhira do?"

I thought Aadhira would get angry, but she stubbed out her cigarette and said,

"You can hear the rest of the story on the way. Come on, I've called a taxi."

Sanaya started packing, and we went to the hotel, grabbed our bags, and talked with Umeed. Bhoomi said, "You can't go alone." For some reason, Nisha insisted on coming too. Umeed said she'd get bored but had to stay for the office trip. That's how these two joined us.

There was barely any room to breathe in the car. Someone would have to sit on someone else's lap.

Bhoomi said, "You can sit on my lap, Kiara."

Aadhira laughed.

Bhoomi glared angrily, but Aadhira laughed again and asked Nisha, "Nisha! How did you sleep last night, with me?"

Nisha replied, "I slept well."

It felt like Bhoomi was trying to make me jealous, but it had no effect on me because I had no interest in Bhoomi. But I knew I should feel jealous, or else things would get awkward. Nisha and Bhoomi were both pretending to be cute friends. When Aadhira got into the car, I got in too, bored with the act. Bhoomi tried to sit next to me, but Nisha sat there instead. But there wasn't enough room for three people. Frustrated, Bhoomi moved to the front seat. Nisha asked, "How should I sit?"

Aadhira lifted me up and sat me on her lap. Seeing this, Bhoomi gave me an angry look through the mirror, Aadhira body radiating heat. Sitting so close to Aadhira, I felt like a baby. For some reason, looking at the chain around her neck, strange thoughts began to cross my mind, which I tried to brush away like a bird shu shu shu... Nisha put on her earphones and started watching a movie, and Bhoomi fell asleep again. I wondered why Aadhira hadn't said anything.

After an hour, I asked, "Aadhira, am I not too heavy?"

Aadhira replied, "No, but don't sit with your back to me. It feels weird talking to your back."

No, no, no, my gay panic will kill me if I have to sit on her lap and talk face-to-face. On top of that, my mind is still messed up from seeing the Yuri anime. My brain will recall countless stories.

Aadhira turned me around. Nervously, I said, "You are so strong."

"What are you talking about? Now speak."

I had completely forgotten what I was going to say. Why do I forget everything in situations like this? "Aadhira."

"Hmm?"

"Aadhira."

"Mera name japna band karogi? (Will you stop chanting my name?)"

"What was I saying?" My heartbeat was close to a heart attack, and for some reason, my eyes kept drifting to Aadhira's off shoulder top. I was trying to control my eyeballs. Her shoulder is really pretty. stop stop Kiara, behave yourself.

"You're... wait, are you checking me out?" Huh? am I thinking so loud?

Hearing that, my cheeks burned, my ears felt hot, and my heart began to ache. I hid my face, "No, no!"

"What do you mean, no?" Aadhira was teasing me.

"I can't sit like this. it's very uncomfortable. You sit on my lap."

"Can you handle my weight?" Aadhira asked casually.

She had a point. I get arm pain even lifting a kilo of rice.

Aadhira asked again, "Well! Do you plan to keep staring at my shoulders? Do you wanna take a bite? Or are you thinking of sucking my boob? (Huh? My jaw dropped. I was about to plan to jump out of this car. I'd die from regret.) No, I mean blood." (I finally breathed a sigh of relief.)"

Her tongue faltered, as if she had said something different than what she intended. But it seemed like she wanted to say something else. Regret flashed across her face, but then she quickly regained her confidence and teasingly delivered the next line.

Shit, she's teasing me. I can control my eyes. No panic allowed over a crush. The crush is driving me crazy again. One day, I'll have to go to a mental asylum if I keep making these mistakes. It's certain that I'll die of a heart attack from regret.

I quickly looked away as if I wasn't looking at her. I can't even make eye contact. I'm guilty. How awful am I? How can I harass someone? A woman isn't even safe with another woman. What am I doing? Kiara, you deserve a slap.

Aadhira smirked and said, "Your actions aren't innocent, but when you get shy, you look like the most innocent girl in the world."

Her eyes sparkled, as if what she was saying was absolutely true. I was confused about whether to take it as a compliment or an insult, but it felt good hearing what Aadhira said. I looked into her eyes, trying to smile, and then the road suddenly jolted, and everything went dark.

I felt something wet. I didn't even have time to think about what had happened—something soft. All of this happened in 0.01 seconds, even before I could think.

I was confused about whether to take it as a compliment or an insult, but it felt good hearing what Aadhira said. I looked into her eyes, trying to smile, and then the road suddenly jolted, and everything went dark.

I felt something wet. I didn't even have time to think about what had happened—something soft. All of this happened in 0.01 seconds, even before I could think.

My lips touched Aadhira's lips, and I noticed it. My eyes widened. I jumped back. I still have my mind on the ground, and Nisha has no idea what's happening here—Is she going crazy in the movie? Or is she just pretending? Aadhira is smiling.

"I'm so sorry!" I said, feeling embarrassed.

Aadhira didn't say anything, she just smiled and looked out the window. Her eyes seemed to be lost in thought. I regretted touching lips, recalling those feelings. I couldn't control myself. My heart wasn't agreeing. It kept showing me that my lips had touched Aadhira's. My gaze was drawn to Aadhira's red lipstick-coated lips. My hand wanted to go to her cheek. These useless thoughts were flying around in my head, but they weren't going away. Aadhira said,

"Don't worry! It's normal. It happened by mistake."

She didn't look at me. she was still gazing out the window. Is it true that Aadhira is shy around girls? Or is she just acting confident in front of me?

My hand went to her cheek. "Aadhira," Aadhira looked at me.

"What's wrong? Are you worried?" I awkwardly placed my hand on her cheek. it seemed like a perfect position for a kiss. But I shouldn't do that. We are friends, dating. What are we? That's not even decided. There's confusion in dating too. I shouldn't be having these thoughts.

Aadhira said, "Didn't you ask? Do you remember? You wanted to try with me, so let's see if we should date or not."

What? Y...e. What... is she... thinking? Shit, I'm stammering in my mind.

"Let's try! If there's a spark between us, we'll understand after making out," Aadhira continued.

"What?"

"What's wrong? Don't tell me you were joking... because this was your idea."

I was stuck. What should I do now? Aadhira agreed to make out. what have I done? I'm not even ready to hold Aadhira's hand, make out?. Why do I come up with such useless ideas? Why do I watch so many sappy girls' love stories? For me, the worst thing is watching whether I can even survive a make out.

The car stopped, and Bhoomi woke up. We had all reached school. Aadhira and Sanaya used to study here. It's a beautiful, large, and very elegant school. After talking to the watchman uncle, Aadhira and all of us went inside. Children were playing.

Aadhira said, "This used to be our class."

Sanaya said, "Yeah, we used to have so much fun. You always used to pull my hair."

"Do you remember? You used to pour an entire bottle of water on me."

"Tum kya kam thi? (You weren't any less), Aadhira. You used to put ink on me, remember?"

"It was a by mistake."

They were bickering like best friends. I remembered my school days with Aadhira.

School Time...

I was angry.

"I told you to bring the book, you copied my homework and forgot the book at home."

"Just say I forgot it at home." Aadhira replied

The teacher asked me, "Where's your homework book, Kiara?"

"Ma'am, I forgot it at home."

"Khana khana to nahi bhulati? (Did you forget to eat as well?)" the teacher said angrily.

The teacher didn't ask Aadhira. She's the principal's daughter.

The lunch bell rang.

Aadhira said, "You know? Yesterday, I was searching for your lost eraser like a mad person, the one you gave me."

"That one, the scented eraser? It was pink and blue, maybe."

"It was pink... yeah!" Aadhira remembered the exact color. I had given it six months ago.

Aadhira looked worried. "I just gave it like that, did you keep it thinking it was a gift?"

"Not really! You wrote 'my lovely Aadhira' on it."

I casually said, "Yeah, because you are very kind."

This was back when I didn't have a crush on Aadhira.

"So, that's why you forgot my book." I asked.

Aadhira nodded.

"I never thought you would be so soft from what you say." I continued.

"It's from my best friend, why wouldn't I be happy?"

We aren't best friends. Why does she keep saying best friend? We aren't even really good friends. I wrote on the eraser because Aadhira helped me a lot. I wanted to thank her, but maybe that eraser mattered more to her.

"Where did your gold chain go?" 

Aadhira touched her neck and then said, "Maybe it fell. I'll ask Mom to get a new one."

"Huh?" I said, shocked.

"I don't even remember where the eraser fell. I searched the whole house yesterday. I'll look in school today."

I couldn't bear the sadness in her eyes. I said, "What's so special about that eraser?"

Aadhira didn't say anything and walked towards the washroom. Her skirt was sticking out from her shirt, all disheveled. I followed her.

"Aadhira, come on! Why are you making such a fuss over something so small? I should be angrier."

In the washroom, many girls were talking, creating so much noise that I couldn't hear anything. It was lunchtime, so everyone was in the washroom. Otherwise, the teacher doesn't allow us to go, saying focus on studies, but when you need to go, that's all you can think about. Aadhira was washing her hands, looking quite stressed and angry. I didn't know how to make Aadhira happy. Back in school, I had a small mind, and I had no idea what to do. 

Aadhira yelled, "No girl should be seen here, get out. It's like a fish market here, get out." At her shout, all the girls ran away, scared of Aadhira. I wondered why I was still there. I'm a girl too. As I started to leave, Aadhira said, "You can stay if you want, Kiara."

I got such special treatment. I needed to figure out how to make Aadhira happy. I had an idea, maybe Aadhira would forget.

I grabbed Aadhira's shirt. "What's the matter? Are you a tomboy? Girls don't behave like this."

As I tucked her shirt into her skirt, I said, "You should improve. You're beautiful, but your behavior is like a boy's. Take a little more care of yourself."

Aadhira said, "Is it necessary to look good? Do you want me to behave like typical girls?"

"I mean.....Haaaa! All girls want to look beautiful. Haven't you seen Nancy from class A? All the boys are crazy about her. She must have 8-9 boyfriends. Isn't she cool?" (While adjusting Aadhira's hair)

"Cool? Just because she has 8-9 boyfriends, you think it's cool?" My words surprised Aadhira. She kept asking me calmly, and I casually said whatever came to mind. Back then, I had no idea what to say. School is where you learn everything.

"Now look at you, you look so nice, just like I wrote on the eraser. Wait, wait." I had another idea. I ran off and then returned after a while. I clenched my fists. I reached Aadhira and held both fists out.

"Aadhira, tell me which fist has it?"

"What are you holding?" Aadhira's mood was still off.

"Just tell me," I insisted like a stubborn child.

She touched the first fist, and I opened both fists. One had the eraser, on which I had written 'Aadhira, you are very lovely,' and the other had 'Aadhira, you are very confident.'

She jumped with joy upon seeing it. I had never seen a girl with an angry look so happy before, she reacted like a sweet, cute puppy. I was happy that she was happy. I can't stand seeing anyone sad.

"Why did you bring both fists?"

"I didn't want you to lose. Plus, if you lose again, you'll still have one more. I split the eraser into two pieces. Mom will scold me, but I'll bear it. I'll just say I lost the eraser again."

Aadhira hugged me with a smile and said, "Everyone says I'm angry and a fighter. No one has ever called me lovely before. You were the only one who said it and wrote it down, so I'd always keep it. I don't know if it was fate or something else, but I lost that eraser. It was my fault."

"Enough! my stomach's mice will come out," I said with a light smile.

School time is so innocent. We don't know which ones more valuable and which ones are less.

We both laughed.

Back to the present

The sound of laughter brought me back. Sanaya and Aadhira were laughing. Sanaya had tied her hair up and was holding a pink rubber band in her hand. Seeing the rubber band, reminded her of something, so she asked.

 "Aadhira, do you still have that box where you kept your gifts? You haven't shown me that box yet. I once took a pink eraser. I don't remember what was written on it, but Aadhira got really angry. She had two such erasers. I wonder how she's managed to keep them for so long."

I smiled and asked, "Aadhira?" 

Aadhira, cutting me off angrily, said, "Those are old memories, and they don't matter anymore."

Why is she saying this? Is Aadhira angry about something? What happened that she hates it so much?  There's something I don't know. Could Aadhira's change be due to something I said back in school? I was just a kid back then—maybe Aadhira took those things seriously. What are you hiding, Aadhira?