DO. YOU. WANNA. DIE?

What’s your damn problem? Do you think life is like a light novel, where you get isekaid to another world after getting hit by a delivery truck? Uh!? WHAT THE—

H-hey, why are you suddenly crying?

I’m s-sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to shout angrily at you…

Sigh—

J-just stop crying like a—

Fine, you’re not a baby. You’re not crying, either. Yeah, yeah! It’s just dust getting to your eyes. Here, a handkerchief. Wipe your cheeks with this. Do you realize how awkward this is for us? We’re on the sidewalk. You know it’s just across the university entrance, right? People are looking at us like we’re some kind of weirdos. 

Hold on! I’m not stereotyping about men shouldn’t be crying. Jesus—

What!? What are you mumbling about? For God’s sake—

Okay. Dumb, I mean, ahem, injured men do cry—

Pfft! My bad. Fine, brokenhearted men cry, too. There, you happy?

I’m not mocking you, man. I’m just trying to be a Good Samaritan, here. When a stranger helps you, take it. What? Do I look like a perverted rando to you?

Hah!? The nerve—

Look, what you did was stupid. Regardless if your girlfriend dumped you. Man, you’re reeking desperation. You walked with your head down and dragged your feet on the pavement. You were staggering, I thought you were drunk. You were aimlessly walking along the sidewalk and drifted off to the street. You were spaced out. Damn it! You almost got hit by a speeding delivery truck! 

If I hadn’t pulled you off the street quickly, this spot would have been a crime scene by now. Instead of thanking me, you’re butting heads with me. Kids—

Hold my arm. Let me help you get up…

Hey! Why are you yanking my hand? I’m holding you firmly because you’re obviously shaken. Can you even stand on your own? Don’t be stubborn. What? 

You’ve misheard me. I said stubborn not tubby—

Your ex-girlfriend is an idiot for breaking up with you because your fa—

So what if you’ve gained a little weight? Sigh—

Are you sure? You’re okay, now? 

Good to know. So you’re on your own…

Whoa! Got you! Uhmm… I don’t think you’re okay. You hurt your ankle, yeah? What do you mean no? You’re left foot is literally barely touching the ground. Put your hand around my shoulder. I’ll take you to the university clinic. 

What, now? Are you feeling dizzy? Did you hit your head—

Fine. Call your friend, then.

So what? Are they coming or not? 

Uh!? 

Yeah, I know, impatience is my middle name. I’m just trying to get you proper medical attention as soon as possible—

Hold it! What does my reputation have to do with helping a person in need? Hah! Do you think I’m doing this because of Mr. Campus King? Am I that petty to you? Fuck—

Mr. Isekai, you have a talent for bringing out the worst in me. I’ll give you that— 

What the heck! I’m not accusing you of being an otaku. You’re exhausting me. I’ve never been this spent explaining my side of the story since my Mom caught me with a cigarette in hand. 

Just so you know, my friends pranked me. I’m not even aware they’ve registered me to that damn popularity contest until a few days ago when the voting started. Fuck, those bastards—

So I’ve got a foul mouth. What are you gonna do about that, huh? 

Hah!? You’re beginning to annoy me. You complain about your shitty girlfriend for calling it quits in the most humiliating way possible. Heck, you almost got into an accident because you’re reckless. I think your girlfriend dumped you because you have an attitude problem. I’ve got a ton of research to do for a class presentation. Yet, here I am, HELPING YOU, who almost got hit by a delivery truck. And this is what I get in return? You accused me of pretending to be helpful as a means of saving face for that popularity contest. Dude, how juvenile are you?

Fuck! Did you just punch my face? Ohh!? You don’t like my psycho smile? I’ll take that as a compliment. Hmmm… You’ve got a shitty fist for a guy. You messed with a helpful rando, kiddo. But for making my lips bleed, it’s been ages since I’ve tasted my blood, I’d like to be compensated handsomely.