Chapter 78

Sep 05, 2023

“What’s your plan?”

Upon reaching the Pedelian castle, Cassis had placed Roxana in a room in the annex building directly next to it. He had been discussing the details of his journey with his sister when his father Roussel asked to see him. Since he had separate matters to discuss with his father anyway, the two walked together in silence to Roussel’s office.

“So you brought Lante Agrece’s daughter here when she already has one foot in her deathbed...” Much like its owner, Roussel’s office was neat and sparse. Many a visitor found it to be almost too empty, to the point of severity. “Are you trying to repeat what happened in the past?”

After his allusion to Cassis’ past missteps, the father and son stared at each other for some time. Roussel’s eyes, which appeared cold and sharp due to their near translucent hue, had the ability to make anyone anxious just from staring into them. Anyone but Cassis that is. His demeanor toward his father was almost casual.

“What would you do if I were to say yes, Father? Do you intend on placing yet another restraint spell on me?”

“Cassis...”

Roussel called to him in a low, quiet voice. He had already sensed what his father wished to say since the painful memories of his past stung as though they had transpired the day before rather than when he was but a reckless youth.

“We are the righteous judges—the Pedelian clan. Our name and what it stands for are two things you should never forget.”

That had been the speech his father gave just before placing a spell on his own son for the boy’s careless transgression. Cassis raised his gaze back toward his father after pulling himself out of his busy thoughts. “But, Father, what exactly is the righteousness we Pedelians must possess?”

It was a word that all Pedelians practically had etched into them at birth, which is why it was unlikely that Cassis was truly ignorant of its importance. Knowing as much, Roussel stared at his son quizzically before humoring him with a heavy voice.

“It means leading an honorable and orderly life.”

Cassis smirked quietly as he was all too familiar with the phrase. “You mean just as how all Pedelians have lived until now, Father? To be upright and honest, and to never seek more than what one is destined for. To keep our eyes and ears shut to the rest of the world so we can live and die without remorse or longing?” He continued in a quieter voice. “The sort of life that requires foregoing what can be done and emptying the mind of what one wants in order to uphold some cosmic order?”

Even as the audible cynicism dripped from his lips, Cassis’ expression and demeanor remained strangely calm and peaceful, much like an autumn landscape. “But, Father, that isn’t the path I wish to travel.” He stared directly into his father’s wooden face as he spoke. “Perhaps I do not fit in among the Pedelians.”

“Son...”

“That doesn’t mean I intend to sever all ties to our family or forgo my responsibilities in order to deliberately go down the wrong path.” Words he had locked away in his heart all his life seemed to keep pouring out. “Father... you must admit that you and I have different goals and different things we wish to pursue.”

In truth, Cassis couldn’t guarantee that he always had and always would follow the straight and narrow path exclusively. Thus he suspected that was indicative of him lacking the essential qualities to be a Pedelian. He sensed there was a kink in him that the others in his clan did not possess.

The first time he took notice of this difference was on a day while he was still a cocky youth and had almost killed his sister. For generations, Blue Heirs would inherit a gift that enabled them to tip the scales between life and death for living objects simply through touch. It was a secret hidden to the outside world. The fact that most Pedelians possessed some capacity to heal and detoxify was an extension of this central power. Therefore, the heir was constantly learning how to control this ability, but also to be wary of its awesome weight.

Cassis’ downfall had come about due to his overconfidence. He had made the naïve mistake of confusing his power with that of a god. That was why he had never held it against his father for casting the restraint spell on him to prevent any further use of that power. And after a long period of repentance and self-reflection, he thought he had become more befitting of the Pedelian name. But in the end, he didn’t find it to be so.

After storming the Agrece compound, Cassis had actually reveled in killing Lante over and over again in order to satisfy his personal vendetta. He told himself and those around him that he was there to mete out justice, but that was not the entire truth. What lay under it was also his selfish desire to take Roxana with him back to Pedelian territory. That had been the reason behind his desperate attempt to save her. That was why he knew that no matter the excuse given on his behalf, he still fell short when it came to the high ideals of his clan.

At times, that realization had caused him great pain and internal strife, but as time went on, he found that it hardly bothered him at all. Much like a stone carved by the wind for centuries until it finally emerged in the shape it was destined to take, Cassis imagined that he was finally becoming the person he was meant to be. Thus he often found himself thinking that he was never a perfect gem, but a mere rock. But it made no difference to him if he had in fact become the real Cassis Pedelian.

“Our goals are not that different, son.” Roussel finally opened his mouth to offer Cassis a most unexpected response. “I must admit that my own vengeful nature played a part in the death of Lante Agrece and the destruction of the Agrece clan as a whole. So if you wish to discuss who strayed furthest from our clan’s ideals, we should start with me.”

Cassis had expected to leave his father’s office lambasted for having spoken so brashly, so the shock on his face at hearing his father sympathize with him was understandable. He failed to find the words to express how he felt at his father’s sudden candor.

“If anything, it was I who broke the rules by resurrecting Sylvia, and it was my inability to forgive Lante for harming you that led me to hide behind the Pedelian name so you could punish him this time.”

“Father...”

“I cast that restraint spell on you because I was afraid that at such a young age you wouldn’t be able to control your power. But when I lost you three years ago...” There was a sudden frost in Roussel’s gaze, but its iciness clearly was not directed at his son. “I found myself constantly wondering if being righteous and whatnot even really mattered.”

Cassis remained speechless. He could do no more than stare at the man before him who he knew to be his father.

“Had I trusted you from the start and never put you under that spell, you would have never been in danger in the first place.”

His son listened in silence as the Blue Master continued to shed all the weights that had been burdening his aged heart.

“Or had I gotten rid of that bastard before he ever even thought of committing any sort of evil against you, you wouldn’t have suffered such hardship.” Roussel’s eyes appeared to be overflowing with regret.

Cassis listened without hazarding so much as a breath since it was the first time to hear such sentiments from his father.

“Son, had you died in that treacherous place, I would have found it harder to forgive myself than even that beast Lante.” His father then slowly closed his eyes. “That is why my advice now is to do as you wish with your life.”

The Blue Master’s voice was audibly weighed down by years of regret, and with his eyes still shut, Cassis could see that his father’s face had aged to match.

“If your mind is firmly set, then that’s good enough for me.” Finally opening his eyes again, Roussel nodded at his son. Although it was slight, it was a nod that indicated his full support for whatever choices the Blue Heir chose to make.

Cassis looked at his father before taking a deep breath as he prepared to speak from the bottom of his heart. “I truly appreciate you saying that, Father.”

“Spare me. It’s not as though my disapproval would have dissuaded you anyway.” Roussel seemed to be putting a deliberate edge in his tone in an effort to allay the awkward mood, which in turn made Cassis laugh in appreciation of his father’s good sense.

The two men spent the remainder of their meeting discussing the events since the goodwill gathering as well as plans for the clan’s future. Before leaving the head Pedelian’s office, Cassis decided to make a final declaration to his father. “Should my actions somehow lead me toward greater regrets, that is a load I am willing to take responsibility for.”

“I know that you will, son.”

And thus, the father and son’s conversation came to an end. The knots that had uncomfortably taken root in their hearts for so long had at last unloosened.

* * *

After leaving his father, Cassis briefly went to see his mother before returning to the annex where Roxana was resting. The caretakers bowed to him silently as he passed them in the hallway.

He entered her room almost noiselessly. She was still lying in the bed just as he had left her. Her hair was reflecting the sunlight coming in from the window and scattered it into a gentle glow over the white beddings. The light even made her eyelashes glitter as if they were laced with jewels. They were such long and rich lashes that they appeared to cast their own shadows. Seeing her so still, he supposed she could even be confused for one of the Vertium clan’s human-like puppets. All the same, whenever Cassis beheld Roxanna, his principle thought was rarely to awe at her beauty, but to ponder her well-being.

He quickly approached her bedside, then placed his hand near her face. Her breath was weak, but still evident as it grazed his fingertips ever so slightly. Cassis let out a sigh of relief, then carefully stroked her pale cheeks. It really was quite difficult to think of the words to define how he felt in that moment. All he knew was that he felt both sad and sorry for her. Still, it wasn’t merely pity or sympathy that drove him.

What he wanted more than anything in the world at that moment was to know more about this woman by the name of Roxana Agrece. And also to keep her in his sight for as long as possible. It occurred to him that if Roxana were to die suddenly, what he would feel the most wouldn’t be sorrow but regret. And not just any regret, but one accompanied by a burning rage directed at a nameless target. Just watching her lying there with her face almost ashen made him angry.

While he was heartened to see how hard she was trying to swallow the food he offered her, whenever he caught her staring blankly off into the distance with eyes as barren as the desert, he could feel himself lose spirit. Cassis believed that Roxana remained unaware of the fact that he had witnessed her cry in her sleep on several occasions. To him, the experience was akin to watching a pebble being thrown into a calm lake—the lake being his heart—then seeing the ripples it created grow larger and larger until they overwhelmed the ones he had felt three years ago.

Although he possessed the healing power, prolonging Roxana’s life was no easy feat. Still, he intended to give it absolutely everything he had. So even if she didn’t care one way or the other, he could not allow her to die like this.