Ah, nothing like two males working shirtless outside. Sweat glistening their bodies, they go about the hard, but rewarding, task of fixing the immense gardens. Yes, nothing to see there but two conventionally attractive men with sculpted bodies. Totally normal stuff, really.

“Is something wrong with the narrator?” Cedric wipes his brow, smudging some dirt over it.

“Author must be trying to get a new audience for the story.” Hey, did you see how many views we have on this thing? “Just ignore them and let’s go have some lunch.”

After thoroughly breaking the heart of the poor, innocent narrator, Umbravor and his new servant washed their hands and proceeded to the very serious business of food. A basket filled with all sorts of sandwiches and a delectable sweet tea, icy cold as it should be.

“You know… why not use magic to do it faster?” Cedric had many questions, to which the dragon never lost patient in obliging.

“Show, don’t tell, don’t forget.” Oh, fuck off! “Anyway, I could have everything done with magic, but where’s the fun in that? Building something that looks good gives you an immense sense of accomplishment, wouldn’t you say?”

“I know what you mean! There’s sure some nice fuzzy feeling when ya just work the land. Pa and Ma still do yet, back home.”

To that, Cedric looked down at the ground, a pensive look in his face. Without delay, Umbravor placed another piece of delicious beef placed between two slices of bread on his palm. “We’ll soon figure out a way to transmute you. Without the whole turned into a squirrel thing.”

“I still crave nuts every hour or so…”

And then, wouldn’t you know it, a group of armed individuals came into the courtyard.

Umbravor sighed. “You know, one would think the author would realize this gag would get tiring at some point.”

A man clad in leather armor pointed one of his dual scimitars at the dwellers of the castle, a panther companion at its side. “I have come to…”

“Yeah, we know.” Cedric looked the figure leading the group from head to toe. “Hey, why do you wear leather armor? That thing doesn’t look very protectice or practical. Like, use a gambeson already!”

“Oh, a dark elf!” Umbravor eyes shone at the sight. “It’s been quite some time since last I saw one of your kind. They tried to enslave me and didn’t like at all what I did to their city in retaliation. Or was it their whole nation, can’t quite recall.”

“You… you are responsible for the fall of Xnik’zethan?” The elf’s face contorted into a mask of fury.

“Bless you.” Cedric said, mouth filled with food.

“I shall have vengeance for my kindred!”

“Can’t this wait just forty minutes? We are on lunch break here.” Umbravor pointed to the basket between them. “Wait, I think I heard of you. Dark eld, animal companion, two swords… Nah, must have forgotten.”

Despite his polite request, the group attacked, screaming at the top of their lungs as they circled around Cedric and his new lord. With a growl, Umbravor waved his hand and sent them all away with his classic special. All, except for the dwarf clad in heavy armour.

“I think he has the same enchantments as you did on your second failure.”

Cedric got up from his seat, stretching his arms. “Let me take care of him. The exercise should help with ma stomach.”

“This armour is of pure dwarven orichalcum, enchanted by the great…”

“SMITE!” Fist glowing in divine power, Cedric hist the man right at the sternum, sending him flying away, unconscious even before hitting the ground.

“Wow.” Umbravor clapped his hands as the young knight stripped his fallen opponent of its gear. “Didn’t know you had it in you.”

“I was the Hero, you know? Not my fault they send me to try and fight you of all things.”

Another quick spell and all that remained of the group were the pieces of scattered equipment. Later they would turn them into decoration for the garden, with the breastplate even serving as a pot for some flowers that enjoyed the magical aura emanating from it.

They both enjoyed the rest of their day uninterrupted. And shirtless, can’t forget the sweet muscles on show.