The funeral began the moment the sun rose. Most were up since midnight to prepare, including nobles. Some, like the Princess, did not sleep at all. I tied the dress in the back as she brushed paint onto her eyes and lips. Another gloomy day was on its way, but the bright gowns and suits seen in the garden below contrasted the grey.

"Is the Prince ready for tonight?" I asked quietly. 

"He has no choice but to be."

"Is his new servant holding up? The incident had terrible timing," I said. Preparing a noble for events was nerve-wracking as they often delayed as much as possible. There was no time for mistakes. Thus, preparing for a Prince would be all the more stressful.

"Well enough. I was hoping you could assist him when you're done here, though." Elena tied her hair partially in the back, leaving some to rest on her shoulders.

"Well, I've finished tying your dress," I said. She nodded.

"Then, off you go. He's in his room. Be quick; the funeral's already started."

She spoke monotonously with a voice devoid of all emotions. I nodded and turned around with a sad smile. I knew the simple tea parties of gossip would never happen again. Elena would be married to a man far above her age, and Vukasin would rule the kingdom while I hoped for freedom.

"There you are, Rey. Help me find my tie," Vukasin told me when I entered. 

"It's right here," I said, lifting up the tie hanging on the doorknob. 

"Oh," Vukasin smiled exasperatedly. "Thank you."

I wrapped it around his neck and tied it. "I'll be around if you ever need something, Your Highness."

"I know. Thank you. We're lucky to have bought such a capable servant," Vukasin sighed, patting my shoulders. "Are you ready? Shall we grab Elena and go?"

I nodded. 

I stayed by the Princess's side throughout the funeral. She spoke with other nobles to be polite, listening to their words of condolence. Just like the servants, the nobles couldn't hide the joy in their eyes. 

"Enjoy yourself a bit, Rey. You don't have to stick by me," Elena said.

"No, Princess. I'm sure there'll be assassins here."

The Prince would be in more danger, but the Princess is next in line. Elena laughed at my serious comment. "What could you do? There are guards for a reason."

I hesitated but nodded shortly afterward. Behind her, I saw Duke Vale. I decided to have a quick conversation and return to Elena's side afterward. "Excuse me for a moment, then, Your Highness," I said with a bow.

I lingered with my sweaty hands, trying to work up the courage to speak to the man who raised me. Right on time, as always, Baren appeared with a strong pat on my shoulder. "Go talk to him. You won't get another chance," he said.

"What if he ignores me? Or dismisses me and tells me to leave?" 

"Don't worry about it until it happens, yeah?"

"Right. Okay." I took a deep breath and approached the Duke. "Hello, sir. May I speak with you for a moment?"

The Duke, who stood alone, looked down on me with malice. "What's a measly servant doing, talking to me? You were with the Princess, weren't you? Did you run away?"

"No... No, sir. I was excused from my spot for a moment. I'm sure you remember me," I said, my eyes searching his face for recognition. 

"Of course, I remember you. That's why I know there's no reason for you to be talking to me."
I furrowed my eyebrows. "No reason? You raised me. I won't ask why you sold me off, but I want to know if the rumors are true."

"Rumors?" Vale said wistfully. "Ah. Those ones. You tell me, Rey. Do you think they're true?"
His eye was sharp while he looked at me. "I think they could be," I said. "So I want to know why."

The sharp eye seemed to dull, a flash of disappointment walking along his face. "Money. Power. People need hope," he shrugged softly. 

"You never cared about any of that..." I mumbled.

"I always have. I need you to leave now that you have your answer."

"Vale, something happened to you, right?"

The sharp gleam returned to his eyes. "Leave, Rey. Know your place."

"My place? You put me here-- it's not mine. I wasn't raised to be a fucking servant," I seethed. "What happened, Vale? What's all this shit about magic?" 

"Magic? What are you talking about, Rey? I suggest you leave, now, before I call for the guards."

His eyes looked around nervously. A few nobles nearby were watching with curiosity. Some malicious, some anxious. When their eyes turned to me, they were so diminishing that I realized I had forgotten my place. A servant who had no voice or thoughts, only actions made to assist those he served. As their eyes pushed me into a cage, I only felt my desire to escape grow.

"You know what I'm talking about. Don't act like a fool, Vale."

"Hey, boy. You trying to get yourself killed, talking like that?" a noble says, trying to intervene in the conversation. 

"No, sorry. I'm just starting to realize servants are a slightly glorified slave."

"Ahaha..! Rey! You must've had a lot to drink. Go back to the Princess, yeah?"

Baren grabbed my shoulder when he saw the noble clench her jaw in anger. He added a bit awkwardly, "That's not a realistic comparison, is it? You're not in your right mind."

"I just don't understand. We don't get paid. We can't leave unless we beg for permission, but even then the chances are low. We can't ask for food or water, and we can only bathe weekly. Once you're in, you can't leave. They won't let you leave," I said.

"What're you doing, Rey?" Baren fumed. "Shut your mouth before you're executed." 
"This servant forgot his place!"

"Someone send this boy to the dungeons to teach him a lesson. This is treason!"

"Live the way I do for a week, and tell me if you still think it's treason," I snapped. 

 A hand flew across my face. My head turned to the side from the force. I spat blood onto the floor and looked at the culprit. Princess Elena put her hand down, her icy glare piercing right through me. Why? My heart clenched, so much so that I thought I'd been kicked in the chest, rather than slapped on the face. Perhaps she had mercy by not punching me.

"Can I still be free, Elena," I asked, my voice breaking. I looked at the ground in disgust. My words were disregarded without a thought or even a moment of consideration. How could a person be expected to live a lifetime like this?

"You were never going to be free, Rey. Send him to the dungeons for punishment. We'll decide how long, later."

Her words and face were cold, but I didn't miss the sorrow in her eyes. Why did she always do this? She was free to speak, to be heard, yet she never voiced honest thoughts. "No, leave the boy be. I provoked him," someone said gruffly. 

"Duke Vale, this is beyond you. He disrespected the palace with his words."

However, Duke Vale held a significant amount of power, making his words golden. "I raised the boy. He's always had a short temper, saying things he doesn't mean. I'll handle his punishment. If it happens again, do what you will with him. This time, allow me to take charge as it was my fault he acted out."

The nobles were reluctant to disregard the Duke's confident words. The Princess exhaled, as if relieved, and nodded. "Very well. I trust you will handle him properly."

"Of course, Your Highness."

The funeral proceeded as if the event never occurred, besides the fact a new topic for gossip had been created. Only a few cared enough to talk about it, though. Meanwhile, Duke Vale had taken me out of the event and into my bedroom. Along the way, he seemed to be thinking deeply. He wasn't quite present, and I thought I could run away if I wanted. I didn't consider the idea seriously, though.

"Well, nothing teaches a child like a proper beating," he whispered. I let the words fall past my ears. Vale wouldn't. he was never a violent man, and certainly not towards those he cared about. He cared about me. I knew that.

"I'll be right back. Stay here."

I was left in the dimly lit room alone. I thought of the book below my bed and the man who had entrusted it to me. When I first got it, I noticed how treasured it had been. It was old but in good shape, the lost pages were intricately placed back in, and the spine was often manually redone. Over time, the book had disintegrated in my hands, and I had no way to put it back together. I wondered if that's what happens to everything over time when something is placed in the wrong hands. 

The door opened and Vale entered. In his hands was a whip. "You..." I began. I scrunched up my face, staring at the floor in front of me. 

"Get up," he demanded. "It's not as bad as you think."

Who do I have if I lose you too? 

...

...Can I lose what I never had?

I thought I'd cry in a situation like this. Be overwhelmed with grief or betrayal, or something of that sort. Instead, I felt my heart drop and settle down there in that pit as if accepting the reality I had been given. 

"Your face has always been a clear painting of your emotions, Rey. Learn to conceal your thoughts."

It hurt worse when he left, like the pain grew exponentially. The cuts seemed to morph into each other, combining their individual pain and simultaneous numbness until it felt like my skin had been ripped then pulled apart to create one gaping wound on my back. Vale had left so quickly, even though I had collapsed on the ground, feeling like I would die at any moment.

He hadn't held back. It wasn't my first time being whipped. When I first came, I had trouble adjusting, often causing trouble. I was a kid, but nobody pulled back their strength. The only thing that kept my heart clinging to hope was Vale's hesitation when I took off my shirt. I thought he'd go easier on me. A childish hope, I suppose. But if the weapon had cut any deeper, I surely would've died later.

I thought it was funny, though. I thought about Calli, the quiet and young boy. I was saved from going to that jail, but he wasn't. I truly committed a crime, but I was the one saved. I was saved, but I felt like I lost everything. 

I wondered, too, if that boy had anything to lose. Was that fair? Was it better? To die without knowing freedom, or love, or joy. I think it's this idea that led me to his room, searching beneath his bed and inside his pillowcase. The jewel shone brightly in my hand, and I almost laughed at the boy's bold action of stealing such a thing. 

I sat on the bed, admiring the thing for a long time. Something I was never meant to hold, or even see. I understood his actions. 

I went back to my room when evening arrived. Slowly and painfully, I found myself relishing in it. The Prince would be getting crowned now, and I wasn't there to help like I'd promised. I broke my promise. I clenched my eyebrows so tightly that they grew numb. They broke their promise, too, so why did I care? Why can't I get rid of my guilt? The only thing that relinquished this guilt were the cuts on my back. Their screaming never ceased, telling me I deserved it all, because when it came down to it: I was the one who caused it all.

It was late at night when I knocked on the office door. My shirt was bloody because I hadn't received a new one to change into. I felt embarrassed, for some reason. Like my sins were on display for all to see. A voice called, "Come in."

"Hello, Your...Majesty. May I speak with you for a moment?"

"Rey?" In his hand was a quill, which had paused as he stared at me. Like I was unfamiliar and strange, something that didn't belong in this room. "Give me a moment."

He whispered something in his servant's ear. The servant nodded and left the room quietly. If I hadn't been watching, I wouldn't have noticed his presence. "Speak to me after we treat your wounds," the King said. 

"No, it'll be quick, Your Majesty."

"That's not--"

"I have a suggestion."

Vukasin ruffled his hair tiredly. "Just wait one moment. You look like you'll pass out any minute. How did you even get here in that condition..."

"Please search every servant's room." I cleared my throat. I was blatantly disregarding the...King's words. "If Calli is innocent, then I'm sure you'll find the jewel in someone else's room."

Silence. An overbearing silence. The look of betrayal, and that look of such a dreadful fear that my heart raced as if I, too, faced a foreboding end. 

"Rey. I know what you're planning. You think people will believe you admitted to your crimes?"

"You think people will care? Calli, me, or someone else. It doesn't make a difference who takes the blame, as long as someone's life is ruined."

"I'm sorry, but I won't go through with your request."

I cleared my throat again. "I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I ran into Lord Tern on my way here and told him my idea. He was quite open to it. A very righteous man, I must say."

The King slammed his desk and rose to his feet. "You don't understand, Rey. This little sacrifice of yours will help nobody! Not you or the kids."

You're wrong, I wanted to say. "A life is so close to me. These few words I speak can change his fate. He'll be free. You can't keep a previous prisoner. And...when I get out, I will also be free."

"There is no freedom out there! Especially not for past servants! You don't understand, Rey. It's overridden with some strange disease. There's no fixing it."

I looked up in surprise. "A disease? For how long?"

"Since my father sat on the throne. Do you understand? Even inside that prison, there's a better chance of surviving. Half our population has been wiped out in this last decade, and the death rates only continue to rise. That kid's fate is doomed if he leaves."

"Oh, don't tell me that," I murmured. "You can't tell me that."

"You killed him, Rey. You saved nobody."

"No, he was going to die in there, anyway," the King stated. He didn't care. He said it like he'd won.

"There's nowhere. Nowhere to live. Here or out there, we were doomed since we were born. Is it better to just die?"

"No--"

The King was interrupted again. 

"Your Majesty, we found Lord Tern's jewel! It wasn't the kid--"