Aubyn groaned. “Zedikai?”

“N-n-no! Go back to sleep.” Obediently, he mumbled something, then went silent, unmoving. If Aubyn’s clothes also had blood on them… Disgusting. “This can’t be happening,” I muttered to myself as if it would help me wake up from this nightmare.

I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and texted Sang with one hand to lower the risk of contaminating my phone. Five seconds felt like five minutes as I waited for him to respond.

EMERGENCY!!! – Zedikai

Explain yourself – Sang

Just get here! – Zedikai

I dug through my bags to find one of the many pairs of underwear I owned that were designed for this particular situation and locked myself in the bathroom. Aubyn would wake at any time. What was I supposed to tell him?

Disgusting.

Defect.

As I was stripping in the tub to limit any transfer of blood from my clothes onto the floor, my phone rang. It was Sang.

“What is so important-?”

“I don’t know what to do,” I whispered. My hands were shaking so badly that I had to hold the phone with both hands. “He could wake up at any minute. How am I supposed to explain what happened?”

“Zedikai, breathe. Are you home?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m on my way. Tell me what happened.”

The steadiness of Sang’s voice had a brief calming effect on my nerves, but then I got to thinking of Aubyn waking up again and I suddenly had to work really hard to remember how to breathe. “It’s happened again.”

“What’s happened?”

“That bloody thing!”

“Ah, did something out of the norm happen?”

Aside from this situation already being out of the norm? “It happened last night while I was sleeping. Sang, there’s blood everywhere.”

“This isn’t an emergency, Zedikai. You simply need to clean up.”

“It is an emergency!” I whispered harshly. “I slept with Aubyn last night.”

“I did not need to know-”

“No, not like that. I slept next to him. He’s still sleeping on the sheets I’ve messed up. Our flight is today. He’s bound to wake any moment now. What should I do?” Oncoming tears were making my vision blurry. “If he wakes up and sees the mess…”

“Breathe, Zedikai. I’m almost at your floor. Let me in, please.”

I hung up and cleaned myself up as much as I could, leaving my bloodied clothing in the tub to tend to after Sang prevented my meltdown. I tiptoed out of the room and unlocked the door to let Sang in.

“You look a mess but at least you’re not panicking.”

“I have to panic in silence on the inside because I’m too scared to wake Aubyn up.”

Sang placed his big, warm hands on my shoulders. “This isn’t something to be ashamed of. You had an accident. You’re not the first and you’re definitely not the last. Zedikai, you’re shaking.”

Freak.

“If he wakes up…”

He’ll leave you.

“He has to wake up eventually. I’ll get him up and take him into the hallway while you get things sorted.”  Sang’s thumbs wiped at my cheeks. “No more crying.”

Somehow Sang’s words made me feel like everything was going to be fine but there was a nagging voice in the back of my mind that, while faded for now, wasn’t muted. Aubyn couldn’t lay unconscious forever. It was best to drag his half-awake butt out of bed now before he could register much going on around him. Everything was going to be fine.

I went back into the bedroom with Sang on my heels and pulled the soiled sheets away from Aubyn’s sleeping form. When he was exposed, I was relieved to find that no blood had reached him. The only thing I’d managed to mess up was the sheets. I bundled the sheets up over the stain while Sang woke Aubyn.

It took almost a full minute before Aubyn started to stir. He mumbled a sleepy “Good morning” and sat up to stretch.

“Sian yuo moa,” Sang said, taking Aubyn’s hand and gently pulling him like a father trying to get his sleepy son to wake up and get ready for school.

“Sei?” Aubyn let himself be pulled away by Sang, only briefly glancing at me before standing.

“Just go with Sang for a moment, please.” I tried to keep the desperation out of my tone.

“Why?” he asked, leaning away from Sang and towards me.

Sang pulled him back. “Step outside with me, Aubyn. We need to talk.” It took a bit more convincing, but Sang managed to get Aubyn out of the room.

Once the door closed, I immediately sprung into action to get rid of any evidence. I opened the windows, then fully stripped the bed. I gathered all the soiled garments and shoved them into my basket for dirty clothes. Thanks to my mattress protector, my mattress remained spotless. Our flight wasn’t until much later, so I had time to wash and dry everything before leaving as long as I wasn’t hindered.

After making sure no proof of my shame remained, I went out into the hallway to see Aubyn. He was alone, leaning against the wall opposite the door.

“Is everything alright?” he asked.

“Of course.”

Aubyn stared at me for a few long seconds as if waiting for something more before pushing himself off the wall. “Okay.” He walked past me into the dorm and stopped to stare at the now bare bed.

“I’m going to do laundry before we leave,” I answered before he could ask.

“We only have a few hours, so make sure you have everything packed,” Aubyn said, getting together his few things.

“Are you leaving?”

“Yes. You have laundry to do, I have calls to make, and we both need to double-check our luggage. I will come to get you when it is time to leave.” Aubyn only spared me one more glance on his way out. Not even a kiss.

No kiss aside, I had a bigger problem on my hands. I glared at the bathroom door concealing the basket of soiled sheets and clothes.

In the shared laundry space of the building, I watched my sheets swirl in soapy water as I wondered if there were any signs I might have missed. There were none that I could think of. Like the last time, this time started without warning. Ridiculously enough, it felt more sudden than the last time.

Remembering what Dr Stanley had told me, I took out my phone to record it. I didn’t know how many more times I had to deal with it, but it couldn’t have come at a more unfortunate time. Aubyn could tell I was bleeding the last time. If he could tell, then his entire family could. I wouldn’t even have to worry about them liking me after that because I’d have no chance in hell of being accepted by them. Nobody would support their son being with a defective partner.

Can I stay with you instead while Aubyn visits his family? – Zedikai

No – Sang

Damn, he hadn’t even given it any thought.

You have to see Dr Stanley while you’re away, so keep your phone on you – Sang

I tossed my phone over on the bench I was sitting on and went back to staring through the machine’s window at my clothes being rinsed. That damned doctor. I didn’t dislike Dr Stanley, but I didn’t like having to go to him either. I didn’t like doctors and getting my body poked and prodded. Not to mention having to talk about sensitive information that made me uncomfortable.

When my phone buzzed again, I picked it up.

I won’t always be around in those kinds of situations. You don’t need to be so fearful around Aubyn over something that is out of your control. – Sang

Like he would understand. In my eyes, Aubyn was this perfect being that I’d miraculously caught the eyes of. Whether or not he had a dark side, he’d never be less than perfect to me. I, on the other hand, was lucky to even breathe the same air as him. He was everything I wasn’t, and to make it less obvious that I was unworthy of him, I needed to hide every imperfection I had. Especially those I still did not understand or control. If I didn’t, he’d probably realize that he could do so much better.

With a sigh, I busied myself with setting up my drawing pad to pass the time. I’d barely spent time setting it up or getting used to it. Drawing was not my forte but it was one of the things I’d turned to back in high school when I got bored. I could sketch a little and draw backgrounds, but I couldn’t draw people or animals in great detail.

As much as I thought I had a ton of time, the day passed by quickly. After completing my laundry, I went back up to my room to put away my clothes, respread my bed, do some light cleaning, and revise my packing. I packed my drawing pad just in case I got bored. I wouldn’t want Aubyn to miss spending much time with his family because he had to babysit me so I needed a way to keep myself busy.

Sang came by during that time with Milan and offered to do my hair. I didn’t refuse. How could I when I didn’t know how to do my hair the way he could? Getting used to Sang without dreads was going to take a while.

“Why’d you get rid of your dreads?” I asked when I couldn’t be curious in silence anymore. I didn’t even know one could have temporary dreads.

“I only had my hair done like that to go to Earth. I’ve been back home for a while now and I was starting to get bored of them.”

“I didn’t think you were the kind of person to get bored of a hairstyle.”

“Oh? Why not?”

I shrugged. “I dunno.”

“I get bored of hairstyles, clothes, accessories, jobs…”

“Spouses?” I asked.

Milan picked up the comb that Sang had set aside and flipped it around, holding the pointy tail-end too close to my face. “Wanna say that again, bean pole?”

“Kidding! I was just kidding!” I exclaimed, backing up.

“Sang wouldn’t dare leave me. I’d kill him.”

“Baby, put it down.” Sang sighed, seemingly unbothered by Milan’s choice of words. “It would be nice for the two of you to be separated for a while. You bicker like siblings.”

Milan obediently put the comb back down. He crossed his arms over his chest with a smug smile. “Siblings? Since I’m older, that means you’ll have to call me big brother. Let’s hear it then.”

“Not in this lifetime,” I replied quickly.

“Why not?” Sang asked. “It’s more for politeness, acknowledging him as your senior.”

“Nope.”

“Rude,” Milan muttered.

I wasn’t completely against it, but I didn’t want Milan to have the satisfaction of hearing me call him big brother.

After they left, I got changed to leave. I was ahead of schedule, but I couldn’t keep myself still. I was too excited, nervous and worried. I’d be travelling again, to Aubyn’s home country at that. I was ecstatic to see where he grew up and learn more about him. I was nervous to meet his family and see Coen again. At the same time, I was also worried. I was travelling to another country where the people had a violent history with humans. If nothing, I felt I needed to prove to them that not all humans were bad. Or at the very least that I wasn’t a bad person.

Then there was Aubyn, my more pressing worry. He’d left so coldly after we spent the night together, then we hadn’t talked since then. Since I could only be proactive with him, I grabbed my things, including my suitcase, and left my room to go see him.