Zeus can be a manipulator. He just wanted to be a big brother where a big brother means to him, he wanted you to do what he wanted. He wanted you to follow his rules. He also can be insensitive because he didn't think about what he was going to say. And I’m still damn mad at him.

But he also wanted to be my big brother where I can talk about my feelings to him but it was so awkward when telling my feelings to him and I don’t want to because he will just judge me.

Like what the hell is going on in his mind? Going here at midnight?

I cross my arms over my chest while standing in the living room and he is just pacing around with his hands in his blue coat. That’s my mother’s gift for him last christmas.

And he turned around when he felt my presence. He raised his right hand and arched his left eyebrow then slightly smiled at me. 

“Hey.” I said in a gentle voice. 

He put his hand back into his pocket and took a deep breath. Thinking of how he should say the words to me. 

“Um, nice house. This is my first time at auntie’s house.” I sigh because I know what he wants.

“You just arrived?”

“Yeah. This morning. I just woke up when I remembered to visit you.”

Great. “Alright. What is it?” I calmly ask.

“Um, how’re you holding up?” He asked, looking into my eyes. I saw how concerned he is. He may be a jerk sometimes but he is worried and he didn’t want to show it so he said bullshit words instead not knowing someone may hurt because of his words.

I slightly smiled and inhaled, “I’m fine now.” I nodded then let out a big exhale. “Aunt Sandra is taking care of me.”

“Oh, good.” He said then scratched his back head. Awkward… and then in order to bottle up these feelings, he will… “How did it start?” he asked and waved his hands while shaking his head. “No. Let me rephrase that. When did it start?”

So, they didn’t know. Dad didn’t tell them. I shrug my shoulders. “After mom died. I know that we all are devastated and grieving but I cannot control my anxiety.” I bit my lower lip. 

“But, you should tell us. We’re family and getting a doctor’s advice will be good for you.” And here he goes. Acting like a big brother like he really cares for me. But then he sighs and closes his eyes then looks at me again.  I was waiting for him to say it. “Alright. I’m sorry for what I said. I cannot sleep after that and have made my own research about this illness and it’s a big deal.” He will talk about this to persuade me. He did apologize and it was a good feeling. But he wanted something from me. He let out a deep sigh and put out something from his pocket. He put the tickets on the table. “I put you in a good spot. Like you always have. See you there.” He turned his back on me and stopped walking when I said something. I wanted to say this once to him.

“Why can’t you just be a brother to me without a hidden agenda? Huh?” I scoff. “You put your career first before anyone else. It is who you are, Zeus. You didn’t change. Even mom was in her last breath, you haven’t shown up because your career was the most important thing in your life.” I firmly said, holding back my tears.

I saw his body tense and didn’t face me. He just said. “I’ll expect you there.”

Then he just fucking leave. I shook my head in disappointment. He is the biggest cowardly guy with a bulky body I have ever known. I just sigh and stare at the tickets. This is why he came here. To give me his fucking tickets to support him. Because I am his family and no one can go in my family like I was.

My mom and I always support him. Wherever his game held. So, I felt so disappointed that I cried on my pillow until I fell asleep. 

I didn’t know that a pillow is so soft and gentle and can wipe my tears away. Pillow is the one who carried all my sadness without leaving my side. A pillow who can endure my pinch whenever I felt angry, endure to hold my shouted whenever I felt suffocated. 

I woke up from bed with swollen eyes and I grabbed my phone under the pillow. I open it and there’s a message on top. 

Thomas: Hey, you alright? Did you see it? 

He was talking about that comment. I went to his Instagram and our picture has been deleted. I sigh and replied to Thomas.

Me: Thank you. 

Thomas: I’m sorry. I should have listened to you. I understand now.

Even though I couldn’t tell him why, he immediately deleted the picture without asking me about that nasty comment. He’s a good friend and cares about what I feel.

***

After my class, I stop in front of a bread shop where Harry works. The structure is vintage with a little modern style. There’s a few customers so I took a deep breath and then I walked towards the store, opened the door and then smiled. 

“Good evening! Welcome to….” He abruptly stopped when he looked up and saw me.

He smiled slightly and softened his face.

“Athena. I am very sorry for my attitude the last time we met. I… I am so ashamed to face you and I’m not a perfect person.”

I held his arm. “It’s alright. I am sorry too that I let my emotions get ahead of me.”

We both smile at each other and I let go of his arm. “Well, it won’t be a perfect apology if you won’t taste our finest bread.” He said and then went to the back of the bread bin to get me a slice of the bread. He put the bread on the plate and then gave it to me. “Here.”

I took a bite and my eyes widened. “It is so soft and tasty. Did you bake this?” 

He nods. “Yeah. My family runs this shop for over the years and the secret recipe has been passed down for generations.”

“So, you are the one who manages this?”

“Yeah. Me and my sister.” 

“Hm, this is the best bread I have tasted in my entire life.”

He raises his right hand and I fist bump him. “Noah is a lucky guy. He surely has a kind girlfriend.”

He’s a funny guy and told me that Noah worked here last year with terrible hair. Noah let his hair grow and just tied it up. Harry showed me his look and I couldn’t believe that it suits him. He looks like a bad boy and a little grumpy.

“Why didn't he cut his hair?”

“Well, he was so quiet and very serious. I can’t even talk to him. My sister is his friend and she gave him a job here to help me.” He shook his head while smiling. “One day. I saw him staring at his phone with a picture of a woman and I found out that his girlfriend died. So, I understand why he is like that.” I nod and continue to listen to him. “And I manage to let him talk because I am so nosy.” He laughed. “Then, he suddenly laughed at me when I made pig bread.” 

I snorted and then my eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“He made fun of me and said no one will buy my creation. And I have made a bet on him.” I leaned my back on the chair and smiled. “I told him that if I win, he will cut his hair and I won.”

“Really?” I lean forward and put my hands on the table and drink the hot cocoa. 

He nods. “Don’t judge the pig by its size but to taste it to judge and my creation boosts a sale. He agreed to my bet so he cut his hair. And I’ve made a mistake.” He said while shaking his head down.

I slightly laughed. “Why?” 

He sighs and the side of his lips curve up. “He's so bloody good. So, bloody damn hot. Women are hanging here, waiting for him, drooling over him and always, always searching for him like what the bloody hell am I doing here? I am his bloody shadow that waited to disappear for him to enter the bloody spotlight. And our sales kicked up like the first time in a whole bloody year I managed this shop.”

I laugh because he was so funny. “You sounded like a jealous guy.”

“I know I have looks but he was way out of my league.” I laugh so hard because of his hand gestures and make faces. It made him so funny.

He smiled. “I’m glad that I made you laugh.”

I took a deep sigh. “And then, did you two become friends?”

He raised his thick eyebrows. “Well, yeah. I owe it to him why our shop became famous. Again. So, I have no grudge against him.” After we talked for a minute, I decided to get home. “Thank you for your visit, Athena.”

“Anytime. I’ll bring my niece here and I’m sure he will like it.”

After one month, it is now the presentation day. Thomas is carrying our project in his both hands and we were on our way to the room. I felt bad about him doing this. So, I tried to talk to our professor.

He looked at me when we sat on our chairs. “What?” He smiled. “Why are you giving me that look?”

I took a deep sigh. “Half of this project is your idea. So, I talked to Miss Davies and she said that if our project makes it to the exhibit, she will reconsider your participation.” I observed his reaction and he just stared at me. “I’m sorry that I—” he suddenly hugged me and I was stunned.

“You are the best woman I have ever met. You're the angel of my life. Thank you so much, Athena.” I felt his gentle touch on the back of my head.

Then, I heard the two girls behind us, whispering but we heard them.

“I thought she was with Noah.”

“Noah’s her boyfriend and yet she is flirting with Thomas.”

They laugh. “What a slut.” I gently push Thomas from me and I sit up straight, facing forward.

I can feel his stare and I sigh. “It’s true. Noah’s my boyfriend.”