It was warm.

Now it was cold. Soham curled up on himself.

There was a weight ?

He opened his eyes, memories flashing at the speed of light. 

He sat up to find a cat he had seen only in pictures, resting in his laps.

Patting Kimyo there was a hope it would ease the headache, the sensation of wanting to throw up, the dryness of his mouth, the overflowing regrets tempting him to jump off the window.

If it wasn't for his bladder, Soham would have never went downstair.

The minute he stepped in the living room, everyone stared at him intensely so he fastened his pace to the toilet feeling anxious.

What if he had done worse that he could remember, what if something bad had happened, what could it have been ?

There were so many blanks, too many, there were too many missing informations, what had he done ? What had he done ? What had he done ? 

"Shit, shit, shit" He muttered alone in the bathroom, holding onto the sink.

Cold sweat and a knock in the stomach, sickening, so sickening, scary, horrible, the worst. His breath accelerated.

What had happened during those blanks ? What was it ? What was it ? What was it ?

He started hitting his wet knuckles against the skull "Remember, remember"

His whole body was shaking as much as his respiration. 

The knocking on the door was like a caffeine injection right in the heart wich was punching him from the inside with consistance.

There were whispers on the other side.

What were they saying ? Was it because he did something wrong ?

The sentences weren't clear, adding unfounded roots of stress.

They were mocking him, criticizing him, he was weird, so weird they had to say it out loud. He had done something stupid and now they were judging him for it.

Why, why, why, why ?

What had he done ?

"Soham are you okay ? You've been there for a while" Mia's clear words calmed a tiny bit his mind ; yet lungs and heart were still throwing a tantrum "I'm going to open"

His voice wouldn't get out to say no thus the three found their friend in a poor state.

Soham showed a palm to explain it was fine.

Mia and Kai froze while Caleb rushed in to help. He took the trembling palm "Hey dude try to focus on my hand and follow what I say" 

Soham began inhaling and exhaling on Caleb's rhythm, slowly, steadily, which got more and more effective "It's okay, you're fine"

After a while, the shaking had turned subtle, the breathing was stable, the heartbeat remaining somewhat anxious.

"You good ma boy ?" 

Soham nodded unleashing the sink ; Caleb lightly tapped his back.

"Dude" Kai approached with a soft voice nevertheless the shaking unconsciously escalated. Kai braked himself, corners of the mouth up to reassure "Don't turn so white or I'll call you snow white for the rest of your life" He walked away, disappearing, for longer than imagined.