He kept spinning the fidget under the desk. The soft hum’s not noticeable to anyone... unless they were paying attention. And Dewi was definitely paying attention, more so than the assignment he was at the campus library to work on. How could he not take advantage of the rare moment of quiet to soak in every detail of the person across from him? 

The man’s rich dark hair that falls ever so slightly into his face. The way his brow furrows as he focuses on the book he reads one handed. Those violet eyes Dewi would rather look at him than the words.

“Stuck again, Dew?” Blake doesn’t even glance up from the book to whisper across the table in his low voice.

“You know me.. Complete muscle head.” He tries to give a nonchalant grin. The jock had a reputation to uphold afterall and pining after his childhood friend in defeat didn’t fit that image.

“You seem more spacey than normal. We both know what that means for you…” Said friend finally looks up with a worried expression. “Will you be leaving soon?”

“... I probably at least have until tonight. I can email the professors to get my assignments put on hold for the few days.”

“Do you want some help with your current assignment so it’s not hanging over you while you’re gone?”

Dewi genuinely smiles wide. “Please? All the scientific jargon makes it hard for me to keep track of what’s what…” Blake moves around the table and sits beside him to help better. They’re so close, Dewi can smell him.

“Let’s see… Oh, this one.” Blake points to one word. “This is the technical term for Seekers and that one is for Claims. I can teach you a little trick to remember which is which when you get back. The actual question is relatively simple once you translate all the terms… Just give one example of the differences between the two that’s social opposed to biological.”

“You mean like how Seekers are expected to be the main providers in a relationship?”

“Exactly…” Dewi feels a touch of pride at Blake’s confirmation as if it’s high praise. Of course, that probably has more to do with the fact that it is the cute, dark haired Claim saying it.

Dewi opens his mouth to thank him when someone leans over from his other side. “Watcha doing, Dee?” He hadn’t even noticed the woman with Blake beside him. “Woah, isn’t that the homework due next week? We only got it today and you’re already almost done with it. Not just handsome and athletic, but studious as well… You really are the perfect guy.”
Dewi automatically switches to a bright smile. “Hey, Courtney. I thought cheer had practice around now…”

Courtney gives a fake pout. “We got out early so a bunch of us are studying over there.” She points to a nearby table of giggling girls in sportswear. “You know…” The busty girl leans over more as if to encourage the boys to look down her shirt, “We could use a smart study partner like you to help us out.”

Dewi is torn. He does his best to be this strong, friendly Seeker that everyone expects of him but he doesn’t feel up to indulging Courtney or any of those girls’ flirting right now. “Um, well… I would love to but time of the month, if you know what I mean. Just hoping to finish this assignment before having to leave and I’m worried you lovely ladies will be too distracting right now. You understand, right?” She was sure to misunderstand, but that’s the point.
“Oh, of course. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize…” She looks like she’s going to leave when she finally notices Blake. “What about him?” Damn…
“We’re childhood friends so Dew is used to mine, thus isn’t as affected by me this early. But surrounded by all you lovely ladies is sure to have a much stronger reaction.” There’s an unspoken putting himself down that breaks Dewi’s heart and feels like he’s being rejected by his friend. Still, Dewi smiles. He’s always been so good at faking things.

“We should definitely study together once I get back. Can’t have me getting so swamped with work that I can’t play in the upcoming games…”
Courtney smiles. “Yeah, we’ll all be cheering for you.” And she prances back to her friends.

“Thanks…” Dewi sighs once she’s out of hearing range before silently going back to filling out the homework. Blake had offered to help him with it so he wasn’t about to waste this chance. He’s gonna finish it now before his symptoms get any worse. Too soon for Dewi’s lingering feelings, he answers the last question.

As he packs later that night, Dewi can’t stop thinking about Blake. When they’d gotten into the same college, it was a no-brainer that they would be roommates but even now Dewi was still lying to him after all these years. His childhood friend thought he went to the Seeker medical center because he had high sensitivity, but he was packing for the Claim center just to hide the truth. Everyone always had such high expectations of him and he couldn’t handle disappointing Blake of all people…

When said Claim heads to grab a shower, Dewi sneaks one of his roommate’s hoodies from the hamper and hides it in his overnight bag. He always felt guilty about stealing Blake’s stuff every single time, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. It was the only thing that seem to bring him comfort while gone. Even if it was his dirty little secret guilty pleasure and he really should stop before he gets caught or Blake gets a significant other. Seekers tended to be possessive when they found a partner so whoever it is would surely be upset that Dewi does this sort of thing…

****

Dewi lay curled up in the pile of blankets and cushions the Claim medical center provided in his temporary room. It hurt. Why did it hurt so much? The emotional longing was so strong, it was practically a physical pain in his chest.

All he wanted right now was Blake. Holding Blake’s hand as they walked. Cuddling with Blake while they watched sappy romances. Blake whispering sweet nothings throughout the day and into the night. 

From an outside perspective, they probably could try for a relationship… Dewi, the friendly and energetic athlete Seeker, and his quiet Claim. They were a perfect yin and yang to each other in everyone else’s eyes. Except everyone’s perception of him is totally wrong. Dewi isn’t a Seeker but a Claim as well… Meaning someday they would have to each find their own Seekers and… well… what would be the point of allowing himself a taste of a relationship he knows will have to end someday?

That of course didn’t stop Dewi’s thoughts being consumed with the fantasies he knows he’ll never experience with his childhood friend. A first date. Then a second, and even more after that. Being proposed to. Starting a family together… Because at the moment, Dewi would do anything to have a family with the person he loves. Even growing old together felt like a majestic fairytale.

Whatever Seeker became Blake’s partner, and Dewi had no doubt Blake would find a powerful and amazing Seeker, they wouldn’t allow the friendship to continue with Dewi lusting after his friend like this. The only way Dewi could keep their relationship after Blake finds his partner is if he can rid himself of these consuming feelings.But no matter what he did, instead of getting over it, the desires only got deeper each month. His heart didn’t care that they couldn’t be together, that Claim couldn’t function in society unless they had a Seeker partner or isolated themselves once a month. It wanted only Blake and no suppressing or indulging in the fantasies lessened that draw.

That was the reason for the scented hoodie he clung to his body as another wave of emotional pain washed over him once again.The item grounded him while everything else lost all meaning and he felt on the verge of crying. One part of him hoped this would be the last time he felt the urge to steal Blake’s clothes so as to avoid the risk of hurting or even losing him. Another part was scared what might happen if he lost these feelings… Would Blake notice him acting differently? Would it affect their relationship?

Because that was the main issue, wasn’t it? When the desire became unbearable, intensified by the increase in hormones, there were only two things that kept Dewi in this cozy room instead of going to seek comfort in Blake’s presence. Obviously, there was the reasonable fear of some seeker attacking him in his vulnerable state. But his bigger fear was that it would hurt Blake. Dewi not only lied all this time about what he was, but also had been using their childhood friendship to keep the other Claim near for his own selfish and lecherous reasons. It would destroy Blake to find out. He’d surely cut Dewi entirely out of his life forever.

And hurting Blake would destroy Dewi.