MAX

“Assholes, I’m heading out.” Ryker slapped the back of my head as he walked past me. “Can’t make it to practice tomorrow, though.”

“Let me guess,” my best friend, Evan, said. “You need a whole evening just to wash your vagina.”

I winced and shook my head. Luckily, Ryker knew by now how an offensive, unfiltered asshole Evan could be. We’d been friends since before we were teens.

Ryker flashed Evan the bird. “Sounds like you want to help with the job. Come around seven, will you? Don’t bring a scrub brush. As long as you’re there, your tongue will do.”

“Jesus, you two still act like a bunch of kids.” I followed Ryker out of the living room, but he headed for the front door, and I made my way to Evan’s kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of beer and searched for a bottle opener.

“Just use your teeth, princess,” Evan said.

“I lost a crown doing that shit. Not again. Do you know how expensive dental work is?”

Evan took the bottle from me, lined the cap up under the edge of the counter, and smacked it down with enough force to get the cap to come off. He’d hit it too hard, though, and half the contents of the bottle spilled onto the floor.

“There you go.” He handed me the bottle. I raised my eyebrows. “Shut up. You’ve already had one anyway.”

“It’s light beer.”

He rolled off some paper towels and mopped up the mess. “That’s because they’re Ashlee’s.”

For years he’d chased Ashlee around town but had given up when she got married and moved away. But now she’d returned, divorced with a child that looked suspiciously like Evan, and he was back to pursuing her.

“Ah, she made it past the door this time, then?”

“You know it.” He tossed the paper towel into the trash can and scowled. “But everything’s probably shot to hell now.”

“What d’ya mean?” I leaned back against the counter, crossed my ankles, and took a swig of the beer.

“She won’t answer my calls.”

“What did you do? Not that nonsense talk you do around Ryker and me?”

“Nah, I just goof around with you goons. With Ashlee, I’m a gentleman.”

He said it with a smile, popping his nonexistent collar. I chuckled good-naturedly, but I knew he was telling the truth. Most people noticed his foul language first and didn’t know he had a good heart. But the more time they spent in his presence, the more they realized he was actually a decent guy.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Remember that geek from high school? Cole something? He’s back.”

Except Cole didn’t look like the geek from our high school anymore. He’d grown into his lanky limbs. His hands were stronger. His legs had muscles, and sweet baby Jesus, I’d woken up drenched in sweat thinking about what those muscles could put me through.

“Yeah, he’s staying next door to me.”

“Fuck, that’s right. Why didn’t you tell me he was back?” He slapped me in the chest.

“He got home two days ago. This is the first time I’m seeing you since.”

“Anyway, his return reminded Ashlee of the way we used to rough him up in high school. Now she’s having second thoughts about me. I mean, what the fuck, man? It was high school. We’ve moved on. Why is she still bringing up the past?”

“I don’t know. It’s easy for us to think so, but he might not have let it go.”

And I couldn’t blame him either. We’d been awful to him—I, even worse than Evan. We’d had a good thing between us, and I’d ruined it by bullying him. I’d never been able to get the betrayed look in his eyes out of my head.

“It was a decade ago,” Evan said.

“You were taken from your father at nine because he beat the shit out of you. That was even longer. Does it affect you any less today?”

He fell silent. I could almost see the neurons firing in his brain. His shoulders slumped. “I never thought of it that way,” he said softly. “We were young, dumb, and cocky shits back then. Guess I thought the things we did were just a part of growing up.”

“Well, he had it harder growing up because of us.”

He inhaled deeply. “I know what I’ll do, then. I’ll have a man-to-man with him. Apologize.”

“You’d do that?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, I mean, if I really affected the guy that badly, it’s only the right thing to do. Not that it’ll probably change anything, but I owe it to him. Can’t think of anything else to do besides that.”

“And you’d do that to win over Ashlee?”

“It might help with Ash, but it’s not just that. I mean, we were really fucktards. We probably went a little too far, so yeah, I’ll talk to him. What about you? You were the worst. Man, I remember the day you made him cry in front of the whole cafeteria. That was bad. And when you—”

“Evan, shut up.”

Shit. I’d tried to convince myself it hadn’t been that bad, but he was right. I’d been the worst bully to the boy I’d loved. And now my reason didn’t seem as valid as it had been to my eighteen-year-old brain.

“I screwed up.” I pulled out a chair and sat down heavily. “I fucking screwed everything up with him.”

“We all did, but we can make it right. Can’t we? I mean, he’s here. We’re here. Our ten-year reunion is next week. Perfect time, don’t you think?”

I propped my elbows on the table and ran my fingers through my hair. Wearing my hair down wasn’t something I often did. I always kept it in a bun or a ponytail, but since Cole returned, I’d gone back to keeping it loose because it reminded me of him. Of the way he’d tugged on it when he fucked me. But also the way he would run his fingers through the strands when we were done.

“He and I…were a thing.”

“Huh?”

“We dated back in senior year. I wasn’t out yet, so we hid it.”

“Are you fucking serious right now? Fuck, you are! What the—”

“I know. Trust me, I know.”

“So all that time you were bullying him, you were fucking around in quiet?”

“Nah, it stopped then. The day I shoved him against the lockers and broke his glasses, he stopped answering my calls, wouldn’t see me.”

“And you kept bullying him?”

“It was either do it myself so I could do just enough but not really hurt him or let you assholes do it, which would have been worse.”

“Or you could have told us he was your man, and we would have left him alone.”

“It’s easy to say that now. Perspectives change when you grow up. A lot of the shit we did back then, we would never have done now.”

“Have you talked to him since he’s been back?”

“Not in a way that counts. I really want to, but I’m not sure if he’ll listen.”

“That’s tough. I’d probably not want to talk to you either.”

When I left his place ten minutes later, Evan’s words followed me home. He was determined to meet with Cole and have a talk with him. As much as I wanted to do the same, I dreaded seeing him.

At home, I went straight into the kitchen and searched for my emergency box of cigarettes. I’d mostly quit, but on bad days, the nicotine worked like a charm. At least it used to, but this time each drag made me want to throw up, so I stubbed it out. Maybe some food would be a better idea.

Except my refrigerator was bare. The half-frozen box of pizza in the freezer didn’t look too appetizing, but I didn’t want to go back out.

Pizza it was.

I placed the box on the counter and popped a beer. Now this was the good kind.

The doorbell rang as I put three slices on a baking pan to heat up in the oven.

“Coming.”

I closed the oven and walked to the door. Cole stood on my porch. His presence sent my heart galloping. He was here. He’d come over.

“We need to talk.”

His hard voice plucked me out of my head. “Umm, sure. Come on in.”

He entered but didn’t move farther inside than the hall. “Here.” He thrust a covered dish I hadn’t been aware he was holding at me. “Gladys wanted to ensure you had a nice home-cooked meal.”

“That’s nice of her.”

“She’s a nice woman.” He clenched his hands into fists. “All day she’s done nothing but sing your praises like one of her revival hymns. I’m not sure what you’re trying to pull here by wheedling your way into her home, but just so you know, I’m convincing her to move to Atlanta with me. So I’d appreciate it if you kept your distance from her.”

“Now wait a minute—”

But he’d already strode out and slammed my door in my face.