Mara and his mother were having a staredown when I entered the kitchen.

“I’m gonna go,” I squeaked, hoping they didn’t hear or see me.

Mara broke eye contact with his mom and grabbed my wrist.

Dang it.

“Did Kailee text you?”

I averted my eyes. “Sure…”

He huffed. “You’re a horrible liar, Jiyuru. Where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know,” I mumbled.

“So why leave?” his mom asked, suspiciously.

“Well…if it will make you two stop fighting…”

Neither of them said anything, so I took that as my cue to leave. I tried to pull my hand away, but he held on.

“Jiyuru, it’s not your fault,” he told me.

I bit my lip to stop myself from telling him that, yes, it was my fault. Instead, I told him, “It didn’t even have to happen like this. If I had just gotten the surgery, Mom wouldn’t be mad at me, and I would be home.”

He gave me an I-want-to-tell-you-you’re-crazy-but-I-don’t-know-if-that-would-make-the-situation-worse kinda look.

His mom chimed in. “What surgery?”

“I’m intersex, but my mom wanted me to have surgery to make me a boy. I didn’t want it. She consequently kicked me out of her car on the way home.”

His mom placed a hand over her heart. “Oh, honey…that’s not a decision your mom makes for you. And she shouldn’t be so mad about it! Mara, why didn’t you tell me what was going on?”

“I tried, but you weren’t listening. Don’t you remember what you told me, Mom? Communication is a two-way street.”

She sighed. “You’re right, Mara. Maybe it’s time to let the past go.”

Mara smiled, his hand slipping from my wrist to my fingers. “Then let me properly introduce you to my partner, Jiyuru.”

I waved shyly.

“Nice to meet you, Jiyuru. I’m Ahaana. I’m sorry we got off to a bad start.”

“It’s okay, Mrs. Ahaana. Is it alright if I stay until my sister…”

“Yes, dear. I finished making dinner, and your father should be home soon.”

Mara nodded, telling me, “We all sit down and eat dinner when my dad gets home.”

“Really?” I asked before I could stop myself. At their questioning gazes, I said, “Sorry, that just came out.”

Mara gently squeezed my hand. “You don’t do that with your family?”

“No…well, we kinda started with my mom…”

“What about your dad?” Mrs. Ahaana asked.

I thought for a second. “That depended on how he was feeling, I guess.” Some days he wanted me out of his sight, some days he wasn’t home, the rest…I was his main form of entertainment. “It just wasn’t normal for me.”

Mara’s eyes dropping to my legs didn’t escape me. “Let’s sit on the couch while we wait,” he said.

I let him lead me to the couch, and we sat down again. He rubbed my knee as I leaned on him, but we didn’t talk. I was okay with that.

After a few minutes, the door opened again. In walked the older version of Mara. When he saw us, he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at me. Mara glared right back at him. I put my hand on his leg, somehow convincing him to tone it down. His eyes softened, but his father’s didn’t.

“Hey, Dad,” Mara said, standing.

I slowly rose as well.

“Who’s this, Mar…cus?”

“Just call me Mara. They know. This is Jiyuru. Jiyuru, this is my dad, Iken.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Iken,” I said.

“Hm…You as well.”

His tone wasn’t very convincing.

“Hi, honey,” Mrs. Ahaana said, entering the living room. After giving a kiss to her husband, she glanced at us. “Did Mara introduce you to his partner?”

“Partner?” his dad asked while Mara pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Yes, Dad. Jiyuru and I are dating.”

“Is this true?” he asked me.

“I don’t think we’ve actually gone out on a date yet, but, yes, we’re in a relationship.”

“We did go to the amusement park and the mall together.”

“Yeah, but that was before we kissed. But maybe the mall counts since that was when you said you–”

“Jiyuru?” he interrupted.

“Yes?”

“Please don’t finish that sentence.”

“Um, okay.”

His parents looked confused and suspicious–Mr. Iken more than Mrs. Ahaana–but they didn’t ask. 

“Let’s sit down to dinner,” his mom said.

When they walked into the kitchen, Mara kissed me for a good two minutes.

“Don’t we have to get to the kitchen?” I asked worriedly, thinking that one of his parents would pop into the living room again.

He cupped my face with his hands. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

He took my hand again until we sat at the table.

During our delicious dinner, Mr. Iken asked, “Jiyuru, how did you meet Mara?”

“Ummm…I was on my way home, and I passed him. He said hi, and I said hi back.”

“Have you ever been in any other relationships?”

“No,” I said.

“Why not?” Mrs. Ahaana asked. “Did you just not want to date?”

I pursed my lips, unsure how to answer gently. How easy was it to say that no one likes me and that I’m not even close to attractive? “I guess I didn’t really have a chance. I don’t really know anyone, and I always just went straight home.”

“Really?” she asked incredulously. “I thought a nice boy like you would have plenty of friends.”

Mara sighed, and I let out a dry laugh.

My phone buzzed. I looked at it hopefully.

“I’m sorry, Uru. Please don’t come home. She’s MAD.”

It’s ok. I’ll be fine.

I thought quickly as we finished dinner. I had a bit of money with me. Enough for a motel room.

“My sister texted during dinner. I should get going.”

Mara lightly touched my elbow. “Hey, you sure you’ll be fine? It’s dark out.”

“Yeah, my mom’s upset enough as-is. I really should go.” I stood. “It was nice meeting you all. I hope we can talk again soon. Dinner was great as well.”

“Stay safe, Jiyuru,” Mrs. Ahaana said.

“I will, thank you.” I attempted a smile.

“I’ll walk you out,” Mara said.

At the door, he kissed me again before saying, “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

I smiled. “Positive. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He handed me my backpack. “See you tomorrow.”

~.~

I kept my head down until I came across a motel somewhere between his house and mine. I paid the clerk, got a key, found my room, stripped, and went to sleep. In the morning, I took a shower and went to school. Afterwards, when Mara and I were alone, he slipped his arms around my waist and whispered, “You didn’t go home last night, did you?”

My eyes widened. “What–?”

“You’re wearing the exact same clothes you were yesterday.”

I couldn’t argue. “No, I didn’t.”

“What did your sister say?”

“She told me not to come home. Mom was still mad.”

“Where’d you go?”

“Just to a motel. I had enough for a room.”

He sighed worriedly. “Jiyuru, it’s not safe for you to be out there on your own like that. You could’ve stayed with us.”

“Your dad doesn’t like me very much…and I don’t want to cause your family more trouble than I already have.”

He softly kissed my neck. “You’re not any trouble at all. And my dad will never like you if you don’t prove him otherwise. My mom’s already asking when you’re coming back.”

“I guess I could visit again. I mean, dinner was great.”

“How about tomorrow night? You still haven’t gone home, right?”

“No, I haven’t. Tomorrow sounds good.”

He let go of me and kissed me. “I’d better get going. See you tomorrow, Jiyuru.”

“See you tomorrow, Mara.”

~.~

<Jiyuru’s Journal>

I wish I was better. I wish there weren’t so many parts of me I hated to talk about. If I share them, I’m scared I’ll be laughed at or rejected. It’s better for everyone to hate me from the start. At least then I’d never disappoint anybody. I should go inside now. Kailee said I could. Honestly, I shouldn’t be getting involved in another family if I can’t even handle my own. But I love Mara, and he makes me feel good. Safe, even. I don’t want to lose that...I really am selfish.