Aoto

‘Because I still love you’ lingers in my head as Yu-jun’s voice fades, along with my brother’s and the confused expressions of my friends staring at me.

Clutching my chest, I tilt my head back to the ceiling, tears blurring my vision. I’m not surprised by the conversation between the Alphas, but I still feel like the shittiest piece of shit buried under a pile of carcasses—and more shit. If I could disappear right now, I would, just to escape the humiliation of facing the cruel truth—to Yu-jun, I was nothing more than a piece of meat to relieve his Alpha urges.

Shit. Why are my eyes welling up? What was I expecting? Isn’t this exactly what an Omega is supposed to do for an Alpha in rut?

“Ao, are you crying?” Kenzo cups my face in his hands, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Why are you crying? Who is your brother talking to on the phone?”

“What’s going on?” Junko butts in, her brows knitting together.

Before I can say anything, my brother’s sudden outburst cuts through the room.

“Shut up. That’s enough, Yu-jun,” Sota growls. “I’m warning you—stay away from Aoto and me. Never contact us again.” He ends the call with a sharp tap, sighing heavily as he runs a hand through his hair. Turning to me, he says softly, “I’m sorry about that idiot, Ao. I’m sure he didn’t mean—”

“Of course he did, Sota.” My voice trembles as I interrupt him. “And he’s right. Us sleeping together was the worst mistake of our lives. Honestly, it’s a relief he doesn’t even remember I was the Omega.” I force a smile, though it feels like it might crack my face.

“Us sleeping together?” Kenzo’s voice is a mix of confusion and horror. His eyes widen as he recoils. “Do you mean you and Sota? Did you sleep with your own brother?” He gags dramatically. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“What? No!” I slap his hands off my face and step back, staring at him in disbelief. “Kenzo, seriously?” He’s never been the sharpest crayon in the box, but even for him, this is a new low.

Junko gasps, her hands flying to her mouth, “Sota, how could you? Do you have no shame? He’s your little brother, for God’s sake.” She glares at Sota, shaking her head like she’s scolding a puppy. “I can’t believe you’d defile my sweet, innocent Aoto. He was just a pure and untouched little thing… Tsk tsk.”

Sota’s jaw tightens, his eyes burning with frustration. “Are you two insane?” he snaps. “If you weren’t Ao’s best friends, I’d kick you out of here right now. How could you even think I’d sleep with my little brother? I would never do that.”

Kenzo scratches his head, looking as lost as ever. “Okay, but if it wasn’t you, then… who?” He looks at me, frowning. “Ao, who were you talking about when you said ‘us sleeping together’?”

I bite my lip and avoid everyone’s eyes, shame washing over me in waves.

Stepping in to answer when I can’t, Sota explains, “Ao had his heat and spent the weekend with Yu-jun Yoon.”

Kenzo and Junko gasp in perfect unison, “Yu-jun Yoon?”

My brother sighs, “Yes. My ex-boyfriend, Yu-jun Yoon.”

Though barely perceptible, I catch a flicker of pain in Sota’s eyes. It cuts deep, adding another layer of guilt to the mess in my chest—for liking someone who still lives in his heart and, worse, for betraying him by sleeping with that person.

Sota must hate me now. He must see me as nothing more than a disgusting Omega, just like the one Yu-jun cheated on him with. What should I do? Beg for his forgiveness? Swear never to speak to Yu-jun again? But what if he doesn’t forgive me? What if he hates me for the rest of his life? How could I live without him?

Sota and I are opposites in every way—he’s brains, beauty, and physical perfection, whereas I’m over here thinking, two plus two equals six… Wait, who’s Einstein again? Despite that, we’ve trusted and supported each other blindly since we were kids. I used to take the blame for his mischief, and he’d do the same for me, until our parents stopped believing us altogether. He’d give me his toys, and I’d give him mine. Even now, we share food at meals—he eats the stuff I hate, and I take his. The only thing we don’t trade is clothes, thanks to our height and build differences; not that it stops us from stealing socks and hoodies from each other’s wardrobes.

“Ao? Ao?”

I blink and snap back to reality, finding Sota waving his hand in front of my face.

“What?” I blurt.

“You look like you’re about to cry. Are you okay?” His voice softens, full of concern. “Your body must be killing you. You were a virgin, and your first time was with a Dominant Alpha in rut. I’m so sorry you went through that.”

Clutching the hem of his sweater, I plead, “Can we talk about this? Are you mad at me? Do you hate me? I’m sorry for what I did. I should’ve controlled myself, and—”

He shakes his head quickly, covering my lips with his hand. “Stop. You have nothing to apologize for, and I would never hate you. Yu-jun and I are ancient history. What he does has nothing to do with me—well, except this time, because he dared to lay hands on my little brother, but—”

Kenzo smirks, “Oh, Yu-jun put a lot more than just his hands on and in your little brother, Sota-kun.” He bursts out laughing.

Junko slaps his forearm so hard he yelps. She scolds, “Hey. Stop it. Can’t you read the mood? You’re so dumb it’s a miracle ghosts like you so much.”

Kenzo recoils, rubbing his arm with a frown. “Why are you bringing up ghosts? Are they here?” His eyes dart around nervously.

Junko rolls her eyes. “You tell me. You’re the one who talks to them, not me.”

Sota sighs and ruffles my hair, smiling. “Since your brat friends are here, I am heading back to campus. Even though we are on vacation, my internship at the university hospital doesn’t stop.” He pauses, studying me for a moment. “Are you sure you’re okay? That phone call must have upset you.”

Matching his concerned gaze, I reply, “I’m fine. Thanks for coming for my birthday. And… I’m sorry about everything. I promise I won’t talk to Yu-jun again.”

Sota ruffles my hair again, his smile widening as he remarks, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that, but whatever.” He turns to face my friends, waving. “Bye-bye, brats. Take good care of my little brother.”

Junko flips him the finger while Kenzo waves back enthusiastically.

“Wait, Sota,” I call out, stopping him just before he leaves. “You were about to tell Yu-jun that my pheromones smell like chocolate. How did you know that? I don’t remember ever emitting pheromones in front of you.”

“Actually, you did,” he responds casually. “When you first presented as an Omega, you couldn’t control your pheromones well, so they would leak out now and then. You didn’t notice because the scent was faint, but it was there. Anyway, I need to go. Call me if you need anything.” With that, he steps out of my bedroom.

The moment the door clicks shut, my friends pounce on me like wolves circling prey.

“So,” Junko starts, a wicked grin on her face, “tell us everything. What’s Yu-jun’s size and girth? How did it feel doing it with your first love? And let’s not forget—he’s a ridiculously handsome Dominant Alpha. Spill.”

Heat creeps up my neck and face. “Errr… To be honest, I don’t remember much because my heat pretty much hijacked my senses and sanity. But…” I hesitate, curling my hand slightly into a fist and covering my mouth. Their expectant gazes burn into me, and I mumble shyly, “I think I felt very, very good.”

Junko bursts into laughter. “Judging by your face, it must’ve been that good.”

Kenzo smirks, “Yeah, your face says it all. Plus, it had to be mind-blowing if you didn’t stop Yu-jun from sleeping with you, even though he called you by Sota’s name.”

Shaking my head, I explain, “No, Yu-jun called me by my name when he was holding me. That’s why I thought he wanted me. But… when I was leaving the suite, he called me by Sota’s name and said he’d been waiting for him.”

“Ohhh,” Kenzo says, drawing out the word as realization dawns. “So, Yu-jun knew he was with you during the act but got confused afterward. That’s… messy.”

Junko, ever the queen of bluntness, cuts in, “Did Yu-jun use condoms?” Her grin fades as soon as she notices my hesitation. “Don’t tell me he didn’t.”

Blushing furiously, I stammer, “I-I-I don’t know.”

She shrieks, “You don’t know? Did you see any used condoms in the suite before you left?”

I dig into my memories of this tumultuous morning and shake my head as I fail to recall seeing used condoms anywhere in the hotel room.

“Shit,” Kenzo exclaims, his eyes wide. “Does that mean a Dominant Alpha filled you up for an entire weekend? What if you get pregnant, Ao?”

Junko raises her hand in a stop gesture, silencing him with a glare before turning back to me. A smirk tugs at her lips. “You took a shower before coming home, right?”

I nod, confused by the direction this is going.

“Then you must’ve noticed something while you were cleaning up, didn’t you?” Her eyebrow arches expectantly.

“I didn’t notice anything… except the bite and suck marks on my body.”

“What about your ass?” Kenzo jumps in, his eyes gleaming with sudden understanding.

“Where the sun doesn’t shine? Oh, now that you mention it, a bunch of gooey and weird stuff did come out when I washed it,” I mumble, recalling the strange sensation I felt when that ‘stuff’ ran down my legs.

“So you’re saying that a bunch of Yu-jun’s fluids came out of your ass, right?” Junko insists, her lips curling into a naughty smile.

By this point, an invisible volcano is erupting from my head. “Yep. I guess that stuff that came out from where the sun doesn’t shine was Yu-jun’s…” I trail off, looking away in shame.

“Dude, from where the sun doesn’t shine? Just say from your ass or your hole, for fuck’s sake.” Kenzo laughs. “You’re not a kid anymore; you’re a full-fledged Omega. Congratulations,” he taunts, probably aware that he’s pissing me off because he knows how much I hate being an Omega.

“Hey, what if you get pregnant, Ao? A Dominant Alpha’s sperm is no joke, especially if your heat triggered his rut and he knotted you,” Junko points out, sounding concerned.

I throw my hands up in frustration. Tired of hearing about knotting and the possibility of getting pregnant, I snap, “Jeez, why does everyone keep emphasizing that? I know there’s a big chance of me getting pregnant, and if that happens, I’ll be screwed for the rest of my life. But what’s done is done, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Shit.”

Junko wraps an arm around my neck and gives me a playful pat on the head. “Sorry, sorry. Let's talk about something else, then.”

“Hey, did you guys see the trailer for Ji-yeon’s new movie?” Kenzo squeals, shaking his hips from side to side—is he dancing or doing some kind of weird ritual? I’m not sure.

“Oh, you mean that singer and actress Ji-yeon Yoon? Yu-jun’s younger sister?” Junko retracts her arm from me and joins Kenzo in his ritual, shaking her hips in a circular movement.

As I watch my friends discuss Kenzo’s favorite idol and actress, I can’t help but think about Yu-jun, considering that the topic of their conversation happens to be his younger sister. Ji-yeon Yoon has been famous for her singing and acting skills, as well as her immeasurable beauty since she was thirteen. She became even more famous after presenting as an Alpha at fourteen. I’m not a huge fan of her because seeing her always reminds me of my first and unrequited love. However, I’m forced to listen to news about her every day due to my friends’ obsession with her.

“I went to her concert last month, and she was so beautiful I thought she was an angel,” Kenzo states, beaming. “She posted a picture of her and her family to her social media yesterday, and her older sister is as beautiful as her.”

“I saw that post,” Junko exclaims, “It’s unfair how the Gods have generously blessed the entire Yoon family with beauty and charm genetics. They are perfect in every possible way.”

“That’s expected, since they’re all Alphas,” Kenzo says, looking super proud for some reason.

As my anger toward Yu-jun grows with every mention of the Yoon family, I grumble, “When I said I didn’t want to talk about Yu-jun, I meant it; that goes for his family members as well.”

“Look at our pretty Ao-kun throwing a tantrum,” Junko teases, holding my lips and making them look like a duck’s beak. “I know you’re upset because your first heat was super pleasurable yet disastrous, but it’s not our fault the Yoon family is one of the most famous in Asia. It’s only natural that we talk about them when gossiping about celebrities, don’t you think? You need to learn how to live with that.”

My eyes well up as I pout, “You’re mean, Junko. I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.”

“Give him a break, Jun-chan. Our where-the-sun-doesn’t-shine friend has every reason to be pouty. Wouldn’t you be if what happened to him happened to you? We need to start making plans to assist him with his baby when it pops out of his ass.”

“But babies don’t pop out of male Omegas’ asses; they’re born by cesarean section,” Junko snorts, flicking him on the forehead.

Kenzo glances at me and lets out a relieved sigh. “Thank God. I was worried for a minute that Ao would be unable to go to the bathroom anymore after giving birth to Yu-jun’s baby.”

While punching my pillow repeatedly to vent my frustration and wrath, I shout, “I am not pregnant.”

Junko and Kenzo exchange mocking smiles before they insist, “But what if—”

“There’s no ‘what if’,” I cut them off, glaring daggers. “It’s impossible. I’m not having that bastard’s baby because he would never knot me. There’s no way I’m pregnant.”

* * *