The next few days passed quickly as I went to practice, meetings, and a few small talks with Olympic organizers. Beau kept me informed of everything he did with my parents during the day when I was busy, sending me photos of the things he found and himself. I found myself staring at the selfies he sent me and finally accepted the fact that I had feelings for Beau. True and solid ones I was unsure how to manage.

“Koa?” Beau popped into the room we were sharing and I nodded, locking my phone so he wouldn't know I was looking at a picture he sent me of him in front of a cherry blossom tree, a bright smile on his face that rivaled the sun coming through the branches. It was clear Alexander had helped him pick out his clothes that day, Beau wearing an oversized white T-shirt, black jeans, and a jean jacket, his beautiful auburn curls pinned away from his face with black clips that matched his glasses.

“Sorry. I didn't hear you,” I looked over again, realizing that Beau had been talking while I was lost in my thoughts.

“Oh! I was saying that the train we need to catch leaves in twenty minutes unless we want to go in an hour instead.”

“We can go now. My parents already left. Did Alexi give you an apartment key?” Jumping up, I grabbed my tennis shoes and pulled them on, ensuring I had everything in my backpack before grabbing my jacket, wanting to stay comfortable.

“Yep! I also have a little extra spending money, a physical train map, and we're meeting them for a late lunch at your new favorite restaurant,” he giggled, “I like when you wear green. It's nice on you.”

“Oh,” I looked down, realizing that the forest green of my windbreaker stood out against my white jeans and shirt, “thank you. You look… very nice,” clearing my throat, I followed Beau out of the apartment, admiring how simply he was dressed today.

Beau was never one for standing out, but occasionally he'd throw on some sort of pastel jacket or shirt over his favorite black pants. Today, he'd picked a lavender zip-up sweater with pink sleeves, the hood having small cat ears that I wanted desperately to play with, wondering if they were soft or had some sort of wire in it to keep it standing up.

“Really?” He smiled at me as we headed to the train station, “You never compliment me, Koa. I'm surprised.”

“I don't? I could have sworn I did…”

“Nope,” Beau shrugged, “you're being different lately. I'm into it even if I like you no matter what.”

“Oh. I'm glad then.”

We boarded the train 15 minutes later and I slid my headphones on, leaving space between us as we stood on the train. I was doing my best not to panic as there were a lot of people very close to me on the train and Beau pulled on the strings of my jacket to get my attention.

“Put your back to the wall,” he nodded behind me and I scooted back a bit, grateful to find no one behind me. Beau moved to block anyone else, his tiny frame enough to protect me and he placed his hand just to my right side to have the support of the train wall, “better?” He mouthed, making me smile.

“So much better,” I whispered, studying his face, “thank you, Beau.”

“Anything for you.”

The train jolted and Beau nearly lost his balance. On instinct, I wrapped my hand around his bare wrist, my heart leaping at how thin his arm was, entirely covered by my hand. His skin was soft even here and I found it hard to let go.

Beau blinked in confusion as he watched me rub his inner wrist with my thumb before moving my hand with a smile and a shaky breath.

“Are you okay?” I continued to smile and he nodded, rubbing the spot I had touched with his other hand.

“Y-yeah. Just surprised you'd stop me from falling.”

“Huh? I'd never let anything happen to you, dork.”

“Okay,” he giggled, “you never put your headphones in noise canceling, did you?”

“The train is quiet enough that I don't need to. We're actually being very rude by talking.”

“Oh no,” he whispered, his eyes wide and I laughed softly as our stop approached.

“It's okay. We're getting off now. I'll set it as soon as we leave the train. I'm sorry that I have to do this to enjoy myself. I want to be able to talk but it's just…”

“It's okay,” Beau whispered, reaching toward my chest before stopping himself and letting his hand drop, “I'm used to it and I still enjoy myself. Because you're with me.”

“Promise me.”

“I swear, Koa.”

“Alright.”

We left the train and once I had prepared myself to head into one of the busiest parts of Tokyo, we finally found Harajuku. Beau was in even more awe than he had been, spinning slowly in a circle to take in what he could and I grabbed my camera from my backpack, making sure it was properly set before I started taking pictures of Beau and our surroundings. This was common, I often took photos to keep myself distracted and he was fine with it as I kept the photos for myself unless I wanted to show his mom's.

We stopped at three different stalls, Beau buying a ton of food that I helped carry before we found a spot to sit. I ran off to a vending machine I noticed and grabbed the one thing in it I knew I would be comfortable with: melon soda. It was a surprise to me that I enjoyed it but I didn't question this, simply buying a few and putting the extra in my backpack along with my headphones before finding Beau again who was happily chewing on something shaped like a fish.

“What is that?” I pointed, sitting across from him.

“Taiyaki. It's filled with custard so it's off your list, unfortunately. Um… this is Takoyaki,” he pointed to a separate container filled with small balls of something, “it's a wheat dough filled with octopus and deep fried. I think if we cut it you could eat it possibly, I know you like octopus and squid.”

“And that?” I smiled, pointing to another box and realizing there were still three more.

“Oh! I think we can share this easily. It's yakitori. A chicken skewer. You like grilled chicken.”

“And the last two?”

“You're so curious today,” Beau laughed softly, taking another bite of his taiyaki, “Kakigori. Shaved ice. I picked melon syrup. Um, and this is just a crepe. I love crepes you know that.”

“That you do. Can I try the yakitori?”

“Sure,” his eyes grew wide as I grabbed one of the sticks, sniffing a few times before taking a small bite. The texture was fine for me, as was the flavor and I nodded, eating it slowly.

“You found something I can eat. Thank you.”

“Of… course. Wait,” he gasped, “your headphones!”

“I feel okay right now. I'll put them on if I get overwhelmed. I find if I focus on you and take pictures I don't super need them. But I can feel the discomfort starting to build. I probably have twenty minutes left in me without them,” I smiled, finishing my snack before taking a sip of my melon soda, “do you want one? I bought six.”

“Oh! Please,” he smiled and I handed over a bottle before grabbing the gloves that Alexander had bought me this morning. They were thin and made of fake leather, covering my hand and wrist entirely. I slid them on before ensuring I could take photos still and Beau tilted his head, “Um? Koa? Why the gloves?”

“Can you do something for me?”

“Of course. Anything.”

“I'd like… to try walking around holding your hand. I'm worried I can't handle the feeling of your skin though, so my Matua bought me gloves. If you're okay with it of course. You can tell me no.”

Beau blinked in confusion again, his head tilting to the side as he swallowed the last bite of his taiyaki, “really?” He whispered, his voice barely reaching my ears, “W-why?”

“I don't feel comfortable talking about it somewhere with people around. I'll fully explain myself later. I just…” dipping my head, I chewed my lip for a moment before shoving the words from my chest in a hurry, “You're the person I trust most in the world and I know if I told you I didn't want to anymore you wouldn't make me feel bad about it. I want to be able to touch you, Beau. You want me to hug you and I know that but I can't yet and want to build up to a point I can so I figured holding hands was a good first step for me.”

“Can I ask something before I give you an answer?”

“Yes.”

“You used to let my brother kiss your cheek.”

“That's not a question but I get why you're saying it. It was never anything I wanted. He would force it on me and I trusted Mateo for a long time so I didn't think he was trying to use me. I was wrong, knowing what I do now. I'm tired of the only people I can touch being my family. Touching your hair is a lot for me,” I raised my head, trying to ignore the hurt in my chest from being who I was, “I touched your hand last night when you were sleeping and it didn't scare me. I didn't find it gross and didn't feel the need to run and wash my hands as I always do. I think you're the only person I can touch outside my family but I'm not ready for the feeling of your skin or the sweat that can happen. This is all I can do,” I showed him my gloves and Beau smiled gently, “but holding hands with me might make people jump to conclusions.”

“I'd love nothing more than to walk through Harajuku hand in hand with you, Koa. We already stand out here. Might as well make it worse. Let me finish eating, I'm starving. Then we can take a walk. But make sure you wear your headphones. We don't want your senses to be so overwhelmed you shut down on me.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, finishing my melon soda as he demolished the last of his food, “how in the world do you eat so much?”

“No idea. Ready?”

“Yep.”

We cleaned up, ensuring we left nothing behind, and started walking again. Beau was smiling, looking at the brightly colored buildings and characters around us that served as mascots for shops and after putting on my headphones, double checking that the noise canceling was truly on, I reached over and took his hand, cupping it in my own. Beau didn't react and I realized it was for my benefit, not wanting to make me pull away. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, holding his hand, but the calmest I had felt when it came to someone outside my family touching me. He squeezed gently at one point as we passed a large group of people and I moved closer, wanting to limit the chance they'd bump into me. Beau rubbed the side of my hand with his thumb to relax me and I took a small breath, adjusting to lace my fingers with his.

Beau smiled at me, the most beautiful smile I had ever seen and I felt my heart leap into my throat when he did. Before I knew how I felt for him, I had always thought Beau was cute. The deep red of his hair, the way his hazel eyes glittered in the sun and complimented the peach of his skin. Now that I knew I had feelings, all of that cuteness was amplified; Beau suddenly the highest standard of beauty in my world.

“Oh,” I could hear Beau gasp even with my headphones set properly and I looked over to find him staring at a street vendor who was making some kind of candy floss.

“Do you want some?”

“No,” he sighed, staring at the character made of sugar and I pulled him over, taking my phone from my pocket to use my translation app.

The vendor smiled, handing one over and I paid with my card before bowing politely and handing the cat made of fluffy sugar to Beau who giggled. Holding up a finger, I grabbed my camera and took a quick picture before nodding and watching as he bit into it, his eyes wide.

“Is it good?” I smiled as we found a quiet place to sit together again.

“Yes. It's just fluffy sugar so it melts in my mouth. Did I ever tell you what they call this in New York? My mom told me.”

“No.”

“It's cotton candy,” he tore another piece off, sticking out his tongue and setting it on the end, letting the sugar melt slowly, “Oh it tastes so good! Strawberry and green apple.”

“Um… can I try a small piece? I've never had it. I like ice cream but I don't think it's the same.”

“There's a bit of a grainy texture due to the sugar. Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Go ahead,” Beau held out the candy floss and I ripped the smallest piece off, ensuring I had another melon soda ready in case I wanted to rinse it out of my mouth.

Hesitantly, I placed it on my tongue and smiled, enjoying it, “it's good. I don't mind it too much. I don't really like the leftover feeling of the sugar but I could see myself eating little pieces.”

“Really? I'm glad and super proud of you,” he giggled quietly, continuing to eat as I watched him. Beau's right hand was free, simply resting on his lap and I reached over, lacing our fingers again. He squeezed gently and I wished I could feel his skin but didn't want to overwhelm myself.

“This is nice,” I hummed softly, “thank you. For spending the day with me and helping me through another hurdle.”

“I told you,” he carefully lifted my left headphone to make sure I could truly hear him, “I will do anything for you.”

“Beau…”

“And I meant it.”

“I… believe you.”