“I do not want her in our Bond!” Freyja yelled out over the phone.” I leaned back in my desk chair and sighed. I was never going to get this assignment done at this rate. 

“Why is that?” I asked while trying to make the numbers on my paper play nice. 

“B-Because she cooked for you.” I put my pencil down when I heard this, stifling a chuckle. 

“Let me get this straight, you’re upset...because she knows how to cook?” I asked bemused by her statement. She let out an exaggerated sigh. 

“Allow me to expound on my previous statement,” she cleared her throat, “In every Bond, each woman brings something to contribute uniquely to their relationship with their lover. No one wishes to be forgotten or left out, therefore standing out from the others is the best option available.” Dang, and here I thought dating one girl was hard. 

“In other words, you’re jealous she can cook and is a kick-ass warrior?”  

“I wouldn’t put it in so few words, but that is the essence of it, yes.” Her tone was stern now, I guess I hit a nerve.  

“Freyja, seriously? You’re a princess, and we just started dating, would you relax? There’s nothing to be upset or jealous about.” I heard her grumble something in her native tongue before she responded. 

“It would be preferable that I do not rely on my title to garner favor with you. Sunday for our date, I request that you come to my apartment, and I will show you what I can do. Will that suffice?” How she spoke reminded me of when we first met, confident, calm, and clinical.  

This must mean a lot to her. 

“Okay, you win. And hey, I hate to cut this short but my boy’s night out with Erik and Joel is soon. They’ll be here in like ten minutes and I’ve gotta get dressed.” I moved over to my closet to find a suitable shirt. 

“Hmm, and where are you going to go?  Are you sure you’ll be safe? I-I worry about your safety you know? A fragile thing like you...”  

“I’m not a baby Frey, I can handle myself, don’t patronize me. As for where we’re going, I found a restaurant where male Bevu’s supposedly like to hang out. Erik was all excited about it.” She said that would be appropriate, whatever that meant. I then started to say my goodbye, but she quickly interrupted. 

“O-One last thing, Dean.” 

“Yeah?” I asked, inspecting my face for blemishes or crud in the bathroom mirror. 

“I must confess something to you. The truth of the matter is that ever since our...dalliance, I have desired it more. But I do not wish to pressure you to give yourself to me so soon.” She sounded hesitant like she wanted to say more but chose not to.  

“Freyja, I told you I’m fine with it. I’m not lying.” I could hear her exhaling shakily. 

“No, Dean. When a Bevusian woman says she needs her partner...she can only suppress such urges for so long.”  

Oh. 

“I-I’ll keep that in mind.” What else could I say? 

“Oh Gods, you’re afraid of me now. I knew I should have kept this information to myself. A higher being such as myself is being brought to her knees by such baser urges. Truly, your companionship has begun to corrupt me.” I laughed and told her that wasn’t the case, and that this was something I had to process, nothing more or less than that. She wasn’t placated by my answer, of course, but we said our goodbyes as Erik and Joel were due to arrive soon.  

As I got ready for my night out, I didn’t know why, but my thoughts drifted to my parents. It’s been over a week since I last spoke to or heard from either of them. I’ll have to call my mom at least, see how she’s doing with Dad. Making a mental note of that, I finished getting dressed and texted the guys that I was ready whenever they were. Luckily, Erik was given a room of his own on campus so waiting for him to arrive was a short affair. 

As for Joel, he’d most likely take his sweet-ass time. 

A polite knock on my door told me that Erik had arrived as Joel had the annoying tendency to try and open my door first. Opening the door, I saw a well-dressed Erik in a black suit and tie with extra arm sleeves to accommodate him. 

“Whoa, Erik, I didn’t say we were going to a wedding or anything.” I joked and stepped aside to let him in. He came in and fiddled with his tie. 

“Did I dress inappropriately? I wasn’t sure what to wear for a night out with humans. Usually, for a Kof-to, it is expected to dress well. And I see you...took some artistic liberty with your choice of clothing.” He side-eyed my jeans and dress shirt for a moment before a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. 

“Oh, you asshole! You had me going ha-ha! Look at you, telling jokes now.” We made some small talk about our days while we waited for Joel to get here. He explained that before coming to work on campus, he spent most of his time at the spaceport patrolling. And while working at a university isn’t as exciting, he says that he feels more at ease since almost all his coworkers are men now. Even if they are gruff with him, he sees it as an improvement. 

Around ten minutes later, Joel arrived, and true to form he opened the door while knocking, like that made it okay. 

“Well, well, well! If it isn’t the Bevu guy! How the hell are you, man?” Erik tentatively extended a hand, only for Joel to hug him instead. Startled, Erik returned the hug after a moment before Joel broke away. “Sorry man, just had to get wrapped up in multiple arms at least once, it’s comfy!”  

“Okay ya freak, got it out of your system? Good. Now let’s go,” I said as I headed out the door. Joel nudged an elbow into Erik, telling him that he should look for someone to go home with for the night, causing the poor alien to blush. He stuttered something about proper etiquette, making Joel chuckle. Rolling my eyes, I led our little trio out to my car, forced Joel to buckle up and we were on our way. 

*** 

“Handies? Seriously? Handies! That’s hilarious.” Joel was dying of laughter as we approached the restaurant. “Dean, this isn’t a gay bar, right? I mean, I’d be happy about it but my boyfriend wouldn’t.” Erik looked between the two of us, confusion on his face. 

“I don’t get it, why is it funny? It’s a play on the fact we have more arms than humans.”  

“Oh, you sweet summer child, we’re just gonna preserve your innocence so as not to ruin your experience. Come on guys, let’s get some food.” Erik insisted we tell him the hidden meaning of the name, but we shook our heads as we waited in line with other Bevusian men. A few of them eyed us suspiciously but seemed to chill out after we said some polite hellos.  

Coming with Erik certainly helped too. 

When we arrived at the counter, a stout Bevu guy with a name tag that said ‘Lao-ki’ greeted us. 

“Table for three please,” I said with the best Reyez smile I could muster. He cocked an eyebrow as he collected some menus for us and said to follow him. “Dude, what did I do wrong?” I whispered to Erik and Joel. 

“Dean, you might not realize this...but you are a bear of a man and smile like a killer.” If Erik was anything, it wasn’t subtle. I thought back to many of the interactions of people with others throughout my life and my reality shattered like glass. 

So, while I was spiraling as we got seated, I asked why Joel never mentioned this to me.  

“It was funny to be real with you.” He said nonchalantly as he searched through the menu for something that sounded appetizing. “But you know what will make you feel better?” 

“What?” 

“Getting schwasted! Erik, order us the strongest drinks on the drink menu, please.” As the two of them conversed about alien beverages, I looked around. All things considered, it looked like a normal restaurant, even the decor wasn’t that much different. It had the usual things like a bar area, an outdoor patio we could see from big glass windows, tables and booths, the works. And of course, some random knick-knacks on the wall that I couldn't identify, I then checked out a few of the Bevu guys around us as they ate and talked, and every single one of them was wearing either a suit and tie or a loose fitting white and gold tunic. Probably something traditional for nights out. 

Great, guess I was underdressed, and Erik was being nice about it in his way. 

When the waiter came to our table, he cheerfully asked what we wanted to drink. Erik took the initiative and ordered something called Benite for us. Once the waiter left, he explained that it was the most common drink of choice but not to worry as he was positive we would like it. 

“Hey, how come this place is allowed to run? I thought Bevusian foods weren’t legal for human consumption?” I asked, to which Erik shrugged his shoulders.  

“Some places can get around regulations if they are supported by one of The Three Houses, I think The House of Trade supports this place and a few other places. So, they’ve got the capital to make things happen in their favor.” Erik said this like bribery was no big deal, maybe it was something his people were just chill with, who knows. 

The waiter returned with a tray carrying three purple-looking fizzy drinks with whitish ovals in it. Picking up his drink, Erik made a toast. 

“To new friendships.” 

“To new friendships.” Joel and I said together before we drank the odd-colored drink down. True to his word, the drink was sweet, and smooth and made me feel lighter than air almost immediately.  

“Geeze, I’m already buzzed and that was only like a fourth of it!” I said too loudly, annoying the nearby tables. Erik shook his head before taking another sip. 

“This beverage has been designed to get people, as you humans say, drunk, as soon as possible. However, the feeling is short-lived and once you urinate it will be as though you never drank it.” Joel and I looked at each other with wide eyes. 

“Bro, did you guys solve, like, all the problems associated with drinking?” Joel asked dumbfounded. 

“Of course, it didn’t take long to accomplish,” Erik responded with a smug smirk before taking a big gulp as if to illustrate his point. Once he got off his high horse he walked us through the menu and pointed out the meals that he thought we might enjoy. Joel settled on a fish with a name I couldn’t begin to pronounce, while I ordered a burger in the hopes it would be like Astrid’s. As for Erik, he decided on a salad with vegetables native to his home and a black soup he described as ‘viscous,’ packed with chunks of meat and fish. 

A traditional meal for commoners. 

A part of me wanted to be polite and try it, but frankly, a black tar-like soup sounded like it would destroy my stomach. A hamburger, even an alien one, was the safest option. If there was any truth to the hesitation by our food safety organizations, I should be at least a tad more cautious.  

After getting our meals, which were fucking great, we ordered another round of the same drink and meandered into talking about nonsense. Mostly Joel complaining about being jet-lagged from visiting his partner every weekend. I loved the guy, but he sure could complain about the same topic for hours. Not wanting to suffer through any more of his rambling, I interrupted by asking Erik if there was anything new going on with his job. Despite his drunken state, his happy expression faded into one of concern. 

“You alright, dude?” I asked, trying to prompt him to say something. 

“Everything is fine, for now. We’ve found flyers around campus about some anti-Bevusian league or club, we’re not sure yet.” He swirled his drink in his glass, looking into it sadly. 

“Well, that’s to be expected right? You guys are...conquerors, no offense. It doesn’t matter how nice you’ve been, you own us.” I explained as gently as I could. Erik said I was right, but that was not what he was worried about. “Then what's up?” 

“With our level of technology, normally we would be able to track and apprehend those who put the flyers up and talk with them. The trouble is...we can’t. Not a single footprint, fingerprint, or pheromone.” His eyes narrowed angrily into his glass, watching the purple liquid swirl around. 

“What are you saying?” I asked after a moment. 

“It is one of two things. One, some humans have got their hands on Bevusian technology somehow. Or, a Bevusian is being forced to help these humans by supplying them with the necessary technology. Either way, as my colleagues have put it, we are fucked if they gain access to more than just stealth equipment.” With the mood now soured, we all nursed our drinks for a time until the waiter came by with the check. I told the guys I had it until I saw the cost. Seeing that I was distressed, Erik offered to pay with a chuckle. 

“Thanks, man, my dad has money but the monthly allowance I get sucks compared to what he could be giving me.” It made me sound spoiled, but it didn’t make it any less true. The man was stingy through and through. Erik assured me it was okay and explained that as the oldest one here it was his responsibility to ensure that things like that were taken care of. He did thank me for trying to pay the bill, however. 

As we left, I was shocked that almost all the drunkenness I felt had evaporated as soon as I got outside, once I used the bathroom I was confident that I'd be right as rain. I’ll have to buy myself some of that purple stuff. It had all the benefits of alcohol with none of the drawbacks, maybe Astrid has it on tap at her place.

Getting into my car, we drove off with the radio on, listening to some rap music on the way back to my dorm. A few minutes before arriving, Erik awkwardly cleared his throat to get our attention. 

“I just wanted to say that I had fun tonight. All of the friends I have are still on Bevu Prime and this has made me feel happy, the happiest I’ve been in some time. Thank you, both of you.” The sweetness of his sincerity would give anyone cavities. Joel and I told him that we were glad to hang with him and that we were happy to help. 

“Welcome to the club Erik!” Joel slapped Erik’s shoulders from the backseat, and to my surprise, hurt his hands. “What the hell, you’re like made of concrete!” I laughed at my friend as he rubbed his hands together. “It’s not funny man; I think my fingers are bruised!” 

“Male Bevusians aren’t as feared as our female counterparts, but we are incredibly durable,” Erik said proudly. Joel just muttered curse words under his breath. And I was ninety percent positive he pulled out a flask from his jacket to drink his pain away. 

Once we got back to my dorm, we hugged it out and said goodbye. I had offered to take them to their places, but they declined as Joel wanted more time to learn more about what kinds of alcohol Bevusian’s drank on the way to his dorm. Shrugging my shoulders, I went inside feeling good and turned off my phone’s do not disturb setting. 

Almost immediately, my ears were assaulted by a near-constant ringing of text messages. Can you guess from who?  

Whoever guessed a pompous possessive princess, gold star for you.