When Luca opened his eyes again, it was still dark, and the clock on the wall marked two in the morning. They were still in Luca’s bed, and as usual, Elijah had kept his promise; they were sleeping on their sides, the sheet covering them, Elijah behind him, hugging him around the waist, with his other hand under... under his head, curling around his neck, chest against back, face against the back of his neck and, maybe, he was holding on to this one arm around his neck like he was hugging a teddy bear close to his chest. Strangely, he didn't feel suffocated the way he would with anyone else, it was like… like a physical reminder that they were here together, and this time Elijah wasn't going to let him run away.

What was he doing? A few hours ago he was saying that he wasn't ready and that he didn't want a relationship, and now… what? Was he comfortable staying in that position, trapped in that more than possessive hold, and still… still enjoying it? Approving Elijah's attitude? He had sworn he would never let anyone get that close again, in that affectionate way, but this was Elijah, wasn't it? Luca knew he could trust him. Right? And after all, it was just sex. What was wrong with that? Even if he was talking about Elijah, the person who knew him the most in this world...

That is, he had come back because he missed Elijah, but he didn't expect to be reciprocated and much less so quickly, also because they have been together for so long and nothing had happened in the past, so why would it happen like this? Out of the blue? He knew Elijah always tried to be the best version of himself, though, knowing Elijah the way he knew him?... Well, Elijah wasn't the kind of person to forgive easily, a trait they both shared. Then, no one could blame him if he was expecting to spend time with his best friend to finally come to terms with the fact that things between them weren't going to work out. 

Now, he found himself at this dead end, actually being reciprocated. The truth is, Luca hadn't prepared himself for any of this, hadn't planned or thought about what Elijah liking him back really meant for his future. He would probably have gone back to Italy after graduating, staying just long enough to take care of what he needed, and then…then he would do what his father had been asking him for years.

What was he supposed to do now? Get carried away or end it all at that very moment? This things between them couldn't be a good idea, he was sure something would happen and destroy everything because that was what happened to him. It could be Daylla or even William. 

Wouldn't it be better to protect their friendship than to see everything be destroyed by sex? Who would have to deal with the consequences, hm? When he would be forced to go back to Italy and never return? It would be his alone. So why was he getting carried away? Was it because of the wine? The exhaustion? Of how he had missed Elijah? What excuse would he use now that he was no longer drunk? Why was he still in the same position, as happy as ever, letting himself be held like that, feeling Elijah practically press him against the bed in his sleep? What if he--

“Luca?” Elijah said hoarsely, his sleepy voice drawing his attention.

"Did I wake you up?”

"It’s your heart. Is racing.”

To prove his point, Elijah brought his hand to the middle of Luca's chest and massaged the spot, moving his hands up and down, making things worse. Luca wanted to cry and wanted to struggle. He wanted to run back to Italy and hide where no one would ever find him again. In the end, all Luca did was lie still, almost without breathing, feeling Elijah move against him and put one of his legs between his, making him gasp.

Luca admitted, now that he was finally in Elijah's arms, feeling his lips brushing against the nape of his neck, the idea of fighting back was slipping away with every second that Elijah touched him, turning his head back and bringing their lips together slowly in an affectionate gesture.

"What happened, hmm? What's the problem?” Elijah said, his words coming out slow, sounding more like he was asleep than awake, grinding against his back, slow and calm, in control.

Luca didn't know exactly what was going on, he just knew it was working. Feeling skin on skin and so safe, he let his breath out and opened his mouth, finding Elijah right there, ready to welcome him sweetly, going back to hugging him tightly, sliding their tongues together, easy and good, as if they had always had done that, as uncomplicated as breathing.

"Aren't you going to tell me?" Elijah pulled away for a moment and blinked slowly at him, a little more awake.

Luca just looked at Elijah, hair tousled and lips swollen, eyes almost closing with exhaustion. That's when reality hit him like a punch in the stomach. He loves Elijah, really loves him. Luca didn't like Elijah because no one else wanted to be his friend at his worst moment or because Elijah stood up for him during childhood, it wasn't even because Elijah had always been his best friend and always would be. Now, looking into those green eyes, he finally realized the truth. How could he not love someone so generous and caring, someone so kind? So helpful, always willing to solve his problems without Luca even having to ask for help?

"I love you.” Luca said without thinking, distracted by the way Elijah leaned towards him once more, about to give him another kiss. That made Elijah stop in his tracks, scrunching up his nose in a confused expression, and then smiling, removing the rest of the distance towards him, touching their lips in a light brush.

"I love you more. Very. A lot more.”

It was strange. He didn't feel any different than he had five minutes ago, but it was good for his heart, allowing him to lift a weight off his back that Luca didn't even know was there. Elijah saying he loved him didn't make him feel better or worse, either. It was a pretty obvious fact, especially after seeing everything that had happened these last few years. The only apparent effect was to warm his heart, like the phone calls did, like looking into Elijah's face and seeing the warm smile only for him, there, always available for him, or how Elijah's arms were always open to receive him.

“No need to worry about it." Elijah said, going back to caressing the middle of his chest, turning him to face Elijah and hugging him again, not an inch of distance between them, Elijah's hands sliding down his back, one of them digging into the hair at the back of his neck, Elijah's favorite place to touch him now, and in the past when he didn't know what that gesture meant. Or when he chose to ignore the fact.

"Worry about what?" Luca said a while later, sighing, pleased.

“I can see it in your face.”

"I done nothing.”

“But you want to. So, before you create these stories and act impulsively, talk to me.”

“Eli.”

“You promised you wouldn't run away.”

"When was that?”

"When you said you came back to stay."

Luca didn't promise anything, but it was like he had.

In the end, Elijah was right. He should worry less. What was the use of anticipating what might happen if the future had so many possibilities? Or those positive, happy thoughts could be Elijah's influence on him. Luca suspected that once Elijah stopped touching him, those worries would come back like an anvil thrown at his head. However, at that moment, he would let himself be comforted and hugged, he would let Elijah's smile light up the darkness around him, and he would let one more kiss make him sigh and forget that tomorrow was a new day and that with it, more problems would appear to worry him.