“Why are they here?” He asked.

“Because your companion was about to unleash hell on those librarians and I figured he would calm a degree if the boys came with us instead,” Sion said looking at Palaemon, “I know how poorly Pay handles his anger.”

Finney scoffed at Sion, “It’s not his anger I’m worried about right now. Mae had to stop me from storming back down to those two.”

Mae spoke up from beside Finney, her voice was soft like a petal floating on the breeze, “What would they do without us Sion?”

Sion smiled and approached Mae, “Get into all kinds of shit is what they would do without us here to keep ‘em in line.”

Mae stood and placed a chaste kiss on Sion's cheek, “Yes but the fire in their souls is what makes me love them.”

Moving away from Sion, Mae made her way over to stand in front of Ilian and I. She offered us a warm smile and took a moment to look us over. Her ethereal silver eyes shone brightly in the light as she studied us.

“Was your whole recruitment team this young, Pay?” Mae asked, looking over her shoulder to glance at Palaemon.

Palaemon, who had now made his way to Finney, stood with a hand on his companion’s shoulder. The anger in his eyes had been snuffed out by a deep sadness. He grazed his thumb against his lip as a tick started in his jaw, clearly upset at her question.

“I’m sure Sion has brought up to you that there are no more older recruits. The last wave of testing the high council did on their lower class subjects,” Palaemon explained with distaste dripping from his tone, “Dragged the rest out of hiding. All we are being shipped are kids currently. Not that they are stopping to consider that when they decide to thin our ranks in their stupid wars or disgusting colosseum fights.”

Palaemon’s anger confused me. On one hand the Aphiels show us that they don’t care if we survive by placing us in our training and forcing us to fight each other to learn our abilities. Palaemon seems no different in that regard. He put no precautions in place to stop the others from attacking me, and yet at the same time our death bothers him. 

“Palaemon, you are confusing your recruits, you know,” Mae said, drawing my mind back to their conversation.

“You should ask permission before you do that to someone, Mae,” Palaemon muttered.

Mae wrinkled her nose playfully at Ilian and I, “Sorry, boys. I’m a different kind of mage, kind of like you two. I can hear your thoughts. And to ease your confusion. As much of a hardass Palaemon likes to pretend he is, he does care about his people. He just can't afford for his people to be weak, so he pushes them to train just as hard as everyone else.”

“What kind of mage can hear thoughts?” Ilian asked, his voice full of curiosity.

Stealing a glance at him, I saw that his eyes were once again relit with curiosity and excitement for something new. It was fascinating how quick he was able to quell the panic and fear that had gripped him ten minutes earlier. I pondered if he had really processed all that had happened already, or if he was choosing to forget about what had just happened. 

“I am an augur mage, or a prophet in other words. I don’t expect you two to know all that much about my ilk, it's forbidden to talk about us outside of the Forsaken,” Mae explained.

“Forbidden?” Ilian asked, the excitement now burning in his eyes, “Why would it be forbidden?”

Finney laughed at Ilian’s excitement and eagerness, “Because they can be used to overthrow governments and our lovely king likes his throne too much so he banned it.”

I felt the embarrassment start to fester in me at the mention of my father. Our family had held the throne for the last six hundred years, making us the longest ruling family in history. He took pristine care to make sure that rule would continue on. So long as the council didn’t decide that they had had enough of him and made the decision to vote him out, he would continue to sit on his throne. He would be there until age rotted away at his bones and his dead hands had to be pried from the armrests. 

“That's cool though! So what else can you do?” Ilian said excitedly, and then suddenly realized who he was talking to and that he probably shouldn’t be asking so many questions of someone so high in rank above him, “If… if it’s okay for me to be asking that is.”

“You will have to forgive him, Mae. If he isn’t staring off into space he is asking damn near a hundred questions,” Finney explained.

Mae only responded with a beaming smile, “I don’t mind in the slightest. He is curious and I love curiosity.”

“You don’t mind?” Ilian asked.

“Not at all, little one. However, I fear the day is waning and you two have studying to get to. So your questions will have to wait for another time I’m afraid,” Mae said, pointing us to a small table in the corner of the room.

Ilian and I made our way over to the table and sat down. A slight shimmer of disappointment hung in his eyes. 

“I’ll go downstairs and fetch their reading. I don’t think Finney should be the one to talk to the librarians,” Mae said, walking towards the door.

Palaemon and Sion both nodded in agreement, “That is probably for the best. Thank you, Mae. Your willingness is much appreciated,” Palaemon said, inclining his head to her.

Mae walked out of the room and made her way back downstairs. Ilian and I sat in an uncomfortable silence as we awaited our books to be brought to us. The grumbling in our stomachs echoed loudly in the room. With everything that had happened today, it was easy to forget that it was past noon and we had not eaten yet. Rubbing my stomach lightly I sighed at the ache that filled my stomach. The painful waves of desire slashing through me as my body cried out for something to eat.

As if sensing our stomach’s roaring cries for food, Finney got up and opened a small basket. Inside were two loaves of bread, a small assortment of fruits and an even smaller helping of cheese. He grabbed one of the loaves of bread and an apple for each of us, before bringing them over to our table.

“Here, I know your lunch was interrupted. It’s not much, but it will sate you a little until we return to camp,” Finney said, setting the food down, “Do you need blood?”

“I… uh… no thank you. After what just happened I’m a little scared to try to feed,” I responded.

“Okay,” Finney turned and walked back to join in on Sion and Palaemon’s conversation. The three of them sat huddled together near the far window. Sion had rolled a small cigarette and began to smoke. He offered it to Palaemon who refused.

Turning my attention away from their conversation I instead decided to focus on Ilian. His eyes had begun their dance around the room as he ate his share of our food. I let the silence sit between us a little longer in an attempt to let him have his peace. At least I knew when his eyes darted around like that, he was focused on a few wisps here and there and not stuck in his own thoughts. Or at least I hoped that was the case. In reality I didn’t know what Ilian thought about. Just that his mind was always going. 

I wondered if Ilian thought of me as much as I thought of him. If he did think about me, I wondered what specifically he thought about. I kept finding myself fixating on his quizzical stare and curious eyes. Did Ilian have something like that, that he thought about whenever he thought about me? 

It was stupid of me to have such a silly crush on Ilian like I did. I barely knew him and he barely knew me. And yet the way he interacted and conversed with me, made me feel as if I had known him my whole life. I’d always dreamed of having a friend like him, but none of the children in the palace would interact with me the way he was now. They had always feared me slightly, fearing the wrath of their king should they say something wrong or accidentally hurt me while playing. So instead they tried to stay as far away from me as possible. I had spent a vast majority of the time at the palace alone. Now I had someone who didn’t fear interacting with me, even with my transition into being a blood mage. In fact my affliction seemed to make it so he wanted to spend more time with me than if I had been a regular mage.

The fact that Ilian seemed to care as well, had made it so he held a conscious place in my mind. Ilian’s kindness seemed to know no bounds. He could have let me walk into the fray earlier. He knew I couldn’t see the fighting that was happening and he could have let me walk blindly into it. I could have died with that earth mage if Ilian didn’t bring me to a halt. Instead he stopped me and faced my wrath instead.

I cringed as I remembered how close I had come to lashing out at him. How tight of a grip my hunger had held onto me. How easily it drove me to do it’s will. I was truly disgusted at myself for my actions. It disgusted me how quick I could fall to my desire’s whims. I didn’t want to be that person. Words cannot describe how desperately I don’t want to hurt the people I care about. How deeply I didn’t want to become my father. While he wasn’t a mage and he didn’t hurt people through magic, it didn’t stop him from destroying peoples lives. It didn’t stop him from hurting anyone who dared go against him. 

I couldn’t allow myself to be like him. I wanted to be able to be proud of the person that I am, the person that I grow up to be. I don’t want people to be in my life because they wanted something from me. I don’t want people to be my friend because they feared what I would do to them if they were not. I won’t become the monster they tell me I am. No matter what it takes, no matter how long it takes, I will be a kind person. I will be someone that can protect and take care of the people that I love and that love me.