Ch 1, My start
Dec 12, 2024
Creator
Hope you enjoy! (^^)
Top comment
Please fix the formatting. It’s hard to read 10-15 sentence long paragraphs. Use spaces/beats liberally, make the scenes/focal points clearly separated and easier to follow with them.
I like your characters attitude. They’re upbeat/fun, kind of a wimp/dainty.
How does this world relate to the real world? Does Lord of the Rings exist in this universe?
The chase sequence might’ve been a good place to show your MC using magic to help escape, but I don’t know the extent of their power yet, so won’t make judgment of that yet.
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