"You won't know what life is,
Till you die a thousand times.
Once you break the spell of death,
Every moment you'll rise revitalized."
(Abhijit Naskar)

Third person POV

It was no good. Kyle's healing abilities were decreasing and he wasn't sure what the actual reason was. Maybe it had to do with the mating thing. He was not supposed to run away from his mates and his wolf was weakening. Usually, it wouldn't take him so long to recover from a stupid trap laid by mere humans.

A bear's trap, actually. He had managed to free himself before anyone came but his foot had been badly injured and he was still slightly limping. He was now reduced to hide in a small cave near a waterfall, only leaving it at night to hunt small animals like rabits or birds. He was a pathetic excuse of a werewolf, really. The fact that he was actually twice the size of a regular wolf did not make it any better. He was big but he felt small.

It had been only a week but it felt like months since he had last seen his mates. Again, the increased emotional state he had been going through for the last few days was probably connected to the bonding - or rather, lack of. They should have completed the mating process already and it certainly wasn't healthy for mates to be kept apart for so long.

Maybe, if he hadn't left the camp, Darren and Nate would have make love to him by now. He could only imagine what it felt like to share a mental link with someone, to be aware of every single thing about them, from their unique scent to their most intimate thoughts. A mere kiss from Nate had already been a mind-blowing experience to him.

He was also wondering about the sex, being as experienced in this department as a twelve year old boy. But it wasn't something to be ashamed of, or at least, he hoped his mates would see it this way.

Nate and Darren were certainly lucky to have each other. After living with them for a while, he had come to enjoy their compagny immensely and to love thousands of little things about them. He even missed Nate's snarky remarks or Darren's overprotective nature. In a sense, they hadn't change that much since they were children. Even when they were only eight, you could already tell Darren was a natural born leader and that Nate would follow him to the other side of the world. Nobody had been surprised when they had turned eighteen and the One Eye had declared them mates.

Kyle had done my best to resist the temptation, but at times of weakness, he still tried to picture what it would be like to share his body with them, to let them get inside his head. To love and be loved. It was both a scary and exciting thought.

But Alex's betrayal had brought to light this very harsh truth: he did not deserve anyone's love. How could he have forgotten, even for a short moment, how fucked up he was? He probably sounded like a whining pup right now but he was done crying. He was just stating a cruel fact. There was no denying he had tried to rape his best friend. There was no denying he was a Sub pretending to be a Dom. There was no denying he had killed his uncle.

Darren and Nate were far better without him and even if he decided to go back to the camp, there was little chance they would welcome him with open arms. When you get a mate, you stick with them, no matter what: that was another unwritten rule of the pack.

To top it all, he was short of suppressants, meaning his fur had turned white - he hadn't known it before, but he supposed that was what his wolf was supposed to look like in his true form. White wolves were pretty rare, and for some reason, it was always Subs which would turn into this colour when they reached puberty.

Fortunately, he still had smell inhibitors to prevent his mates from finding him, because if they were to see him now, they would immediately understand he had lied to them for all these years.

The sound of very loud footsteps brutally interrupted his train of thoughts and Kyle pested at himself for being so uncareful. A massive werewolf was making his way through his hidding place and he was in no condition to fight the newcomer.

" Well well well, what do we have in here? What is the infamous Beta of the Ravenstgh pack doing so far from his territory?"

Kyle froze. That was it. He was going to die without biding his goodbye to his mates. He was never going to tell them - never mind. He was not scared of anyone anymore. The little teenager who was bullied by his own uncle was dead to the world. Rising his chin in challenge, he replied with his most mocking tone:

"Picking up flowers and strawberries for my beloved grandma"

He thought that Adrien, the Alpha from the Downhill pack, would get mad at being talked with so much blatant disrespect. However, the other man shook his head and laughed.

"Yeah, and I am the big bad Alpha Wolf about to eat the Litttle Red Riding Hood. "

"Fuck off, Adrien"

This time, the werewolf frowned. "Is that any way to talk to your Alpha, Kylie-dear?"

"You're not my alpha." Kyle retorted. "Worst, you are the leader of the Downhill pack, the pack we are currently at war with"

It wasn't probably a great idea to remind the other man that their pack were fighting each other, but oh, well.

Adrien started laughing again. Why was the terrifying Alpha in such a happy mood? Oh yeah, because he was about to slaughter one of the best warrior of his enemy pack.

"Well, thank you for reminding me, Kyle." he whispered when his laughter finally stopped. "You sure have a death wish. I am not surprised my daughter Miléna has taken a liking in you."

The sweet girl was the child of this asshole? How was it possible?

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she's only four, but you can tell she has a soft spot for crybabies"

Kyle growled at these words, but the other wolf pretended not to hear his warning growl and resumed: "And how is my good ol' pal Darren doing?"

"I won't let you talk about my alpha like this!"

" If he is your Alpha, then what are you doing here, Kyle?" Adrian remarked, taking a few steps in his direction, so that he was stepping further into the cavern, making it look even smaller.

Kyle was a skilled warrior, but he was no match to Adrien's strenght and experience. They both knew it, but it was one more reason not to show him his fear. As the saying goes, it was not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog that mattered.

Well, maybe we will see if it's true or if it's just another shitty saying. Not that I am a dog. I am a fucking werewolf.

"That's none of your business" Kyle retorted feebily. "Why are you still talking anyways? I thought you had come here to kill me".

The Alpha smiled coldly, tilting his head as if he was admiring an interesting specimen in a cage.

" I have never met someone as much in a hurry of dying as you are, Kyle". "Besides", he added thoughfully, "I am not going to kill you, as tempting as it sounds"

Kyle raised an eyeborw. "No?"

"No" he confirmed. "Miléna would not let me sleep at night if she learned that I killed her protégé"

He was lying through his teeth. The real reason was probably that if Adrien killed him on the spot, his mates would be able to understand he had been the one to do it, and the war would become much more bloody. To kill him, Adrien would need to come up with a plan and ask someone else to do it.

"What, afraid of a four years old girl, oh, almighty Alpha?" Kyle couldn't help but ask.

"Don't test my patience, Beta" he replied calmly. "I was about to ask you if you wanted to join our pack, since I saw you in combats and it seems that you have left your pack"

Was Adrien really asking him to betray his pack by joining a new one? The man really had no shame.

"You know my answer" Kyle told him honestly, a little bewildered by this turn of events.

"I was not expecting a different one" Adrien admitted regrettfully. "Well, then I suppose I will leave you to your flowers and strawberries. Who knows? Maybe you were made to be a florist, not a warrior"

He laughed, delighted by his own joke, and started leaving but then stopped and looked at Kyle with curiosity.

"What are you really doing here, Kyle? You don't look so good, if you are asking me"

Kyle internally debated about whether or not he should tell him the truth. Then again, the Alpha had spared his life so maybe it was time to show a bit of humility.

"My wounds are taking ages to heal." he replied with annoyance. "I am too weak to venture in the forest in this present state"

Adrien nodded, then sniffed the air and froze. To Kyle's greatest surprise, he started walking again in his direction, only pausing at few centimeters away from him. He approached his nose to his neck and inhaled deeply, making Kyle feel extremely unconfortable.

There was something wrong about the Alpha of the Downhill pack, although Kyle couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was.

" What are you doing, you creep?" he mumbled, trying to lean away from the other man.

Adrien's eyes were now slightly dilated. He shook his head, as if he had just been in a transe and replied with a slightly dazed voice " Darren and Nate are lucky assholes. If I was them, I would kill to have you as my mate"

"What? What are you talking about?" Kyle asked, because clearly this Alpha was loosing it.

Adrien smiled again "You will know soon enough, Kylie-dear. And don't think you can hide from your mates forever. They are coming for you, I can tell. Bye, lovely florist!"

With that, he left without saying another word.

Kyle sighed and thought about Adrien's warning. He should leave now, before his mates found him. That would be the most senseful thing to do, but at the same time, since Adrien had entered the cavern, he had been feeling worse and worse. He could rest a bit longer. There would be still time to look for another hidding place in a couple of hours.

With that in mind, Kyle fell asleep. However, when he woke up, the sun was high in the sky. The werewolf had slept for ten hours straight or so. A bit panicked, he shifted, hurrily left the cavern and started running.

I ran for hours, not knowing where he was going, until he arrived near a source. He recognized it: it actually wasn't that far from where his pack was staying. It was dangerous. What had he been thinking, running away aimlessly?

Well, now that I am here, I should have some water, then I will leave again.

Bending down to refresh himself, he caught his reflect in the water and his heart skipped a bit. He had never liked to look at himself, but since his fur had changed colour, he really hated it. His wolf started howling in joyce but the only thing Kyle could feel was intense despair.

He had gone for too long without supressants and now his worst nightmare was getting real. As for now, he was condemned to a life of loneliness.