As the credits rolled, Caelan couldn’t help but drop onto the armchair as if a puppet had its strings cut. For weeks all he did was play the entire Ascendant’s Path trilogy. Using all paid vacations he ever had, unlocking every single secret they offered.

He would have finished them much earlier, if not for the gym and proper sleep. If you had sacrificed those for a video game, I would come back to haunt your ass! He could almost hear Sally yelling at him from even considering that.

That made the widower smile.

Fall had passed when he finished, a coating of snow blanketing the outside world. Seeing the silver sheet overtaking all in sight, a tightness formed on Caelan’s chest. I guess I forget the annual hot cocoa.

Opening the cupboard, a pair of mugs at their usual place waited him. Still felt like a needle going through his heart. It left a hollow somewhere within, one that the body hasn’t learned how to compensate yet.

He had hoped fulfilling her final wish would bring back some semblance of normal back.

It didn’t. At least, not as much as Caelan hoped.

I guess now comes the hard part.

He would need to take out the snow. Not to mention go back to work at some point, too many bills to pay. But for a moment, all he wanted came down to sitting at the porch. Blanket tight around him while sipping a scalding beverage.

The moment would have been nostalgic and bittersweet, if not for the cell phone ringing. The young man considered throwing it away for a second, before seeing who had called.

Taking a deep breath of the frigid air from outside, he answered it. “Mother.”

“Hey, I’m just wondering how you have been. You haven’t called in quite some time, and we…”

“I’m fine. Now, if you finished the obligation condolence call, I’m quite busy.”

“Wait!” The air itself felt like it held its breath, waiting. “Look, I know we had our differences in the past…”

“Is that what you call it now? Does that make you feel less guilt?”

“Look, I know I hurt you… and her. But we are still family, we need to stick together.”

Caelan had to put down his mug, or risk breaking it with his grip. It had been a gift from Sam. “Now we are family? Then do tell, why not do it when Sam needed it? When your son needed it?”

“Look, your father and I wanted what’s best for you. And that girl, she made some decisions that would reflect badly on the family.”

“Reflect badly?” Arms trembling, it took all the willpower he could muster to not explode. “They abandoned her! Do you have any idea how broken, how hurt she got? And then you went and said all those things to her!”

“Caelan, you didn’t have to…”

“Didn’t have to what? Go on, finish that sentence, mother. I dare you.”

“If you could only listen to me, you would know I just wanted to help!”

Caelan finally had enough, slamming his fist on the wooden floor. “You think abandoning someone when they’re already on the floor is ‘help’? Right when she… I needed you!”

“Caelan, I swear, on God’s name, that I…”

“What? Which excuse will you give me now?” Only silence served as his answer. “Forget it. You already showed me far better than whatever you could ever tell.”

He ended the call, blood rushing by his ears, almost deafening. He stared at the number, thinking, knowing what would be best for him, yet his fingers refused to follow. Closing his eyes, he saw the woman he loved curled like a ball. She held her stomach with white knuckles, crying.

Then, he blocked her number. And of every family member from both sides.

Visit your folks, try to mend things with them.

“Fu…” Swallowing hard, he counted to five before chuckling a bit. “Sorry love, but I Can’t follow that order yet.”

The cocoa had spilled, with the mug remaining intact. The little things are what matter, after all. Once he cleaned the mess, he considered something he knew would need addressing.

“Hi Matt. I still don’t feel like going out, but how about some beers at my place?”

Couple hours later, both men sat at the couch, bottles in hand. “So… you really finished all of them?”

“Sam’s last request. Couldn’t refuse.” Shifting his body weight, Caelan took another sip. “Enjoyed it more than I expected.”

With a chuckle, Matt raised his beer up. “Everyone needs a way to handle shit life throws at us. Just expected you to hit the gym instead of video games.”

“I never stopped.”

“I meant ‘hitting the gym even more’. Heck, if you use all that grief, you can go from Batman to Bane. Comic Batman to Bane.” Seeing how his friend tensed up, Matt closed his eyes with a pained expression. “Sorry.”

Caelan kept staring with intensity at the glass he held. “No, I… can’t keep going like this forever.”

“It’s okay to feel like shit, brother.”

“Maybe. But Sam wouldn’t want me mopping around. Heck, she would have some serious opinions if I turn into Bane.”

“Like what?”

Clearing his throat, he tried his best to mimic the tone of his former wife. “Goddamn, I’m eating good tonight!”

That caused an eruption of laughter to come out of Matt. Even needing to put down his drink so he wouldn’t spill it all over the place. Even Caelan smiled, a shy one that lasted but a second.

“God, she would say that. Without any shame, no matter the place.”

“Oh, she did let the intrusive thoughts win a bit too often.” A warm silence followed, the type reserved for those too familiar with one another. “So, how’s Diana doing?

“Oh…” Matt started tapping on his knee, brow furrowed.

“Did something happen?” Caelan straightened his back, pupils dilating.

“Well, yes, but nothing bad, per se.” His friend scratched his head, playing with his short hair. “I wanted to tell you this under better circumstances, but…”

“Just say it already.”

“She’s expecting.” Caelan blinked twice, his brain processing the words. Then he took away both their bottles and left them at the counter. “Hey!”

Looking over his cabinet, the house owner pulled the most expensive scotch he had. “This isn’t the night to drink cheap stuff. Should have said it sooner.”

“It… didn’t feel right, with everything you…”

Placing a glass filled with ice on his hand, Caelan filled both with the whisky, his lacking the ice, as it should be. “My misery isn’t your burden to carry, soldier. And those are the kind of victories we toast to.”

For an hour, they both enjoyed themselves. Even made a video call to Diana to offer proper congratulations. Caelan could, for a short time, be excited for the future. An alien feeling, after trudging through immense darkness for weeks. But as he watched the app driver carry his best friend away, some of the emptiness returned.

Looking over the slight mess at the living room never felt worse. Before, Sam would be picking up bottles, insisting she could do it by herself. Instead of disputing the claim, he would wash the dishes. Her blabber about her day or the most recent game she played at the background.

Now, only the humming of the fridge remained.

Once everything got cleaned, back to his room he went. Tomorrow, he would decide when to get back to work. Think of gifts for his future stepson. Practice a new move at the gym.

Hope the cavity in his chest grow smaller.

Rhythmic breaths to lead his mind to sleep, his thoughts turned to Sam, praying every morning. She said it calmed her down, a tradition from childhood. When asked why she continued after all the bad things, she shrugged.

He gave me you.

He reached out, touching her side of the bed, cold and spacious. “If there’s a god out there, any deity, I hope they gave you a happy ending.” Unconsciousness crept ever so closer. “And that I can, one day, see for myself how blissful of an ending you got.”

And thus, Caelan closed his eyes for the final time.