“My name’s Ruse. Thursday. Thursday’s my last name. I know it’s weird—I’m sorry, I’ve just been having really bad luck over the last few weeks. My ex broke up with me, which honestly was a relief, then I tried to move back in with my mom, and she kicked me out. To be honest, I really like this dumb anime crap. I mean, it’s not dumb, that’s my ex talking, I just never had a chance to like it publicly. I just, you know, I’m having such a hard time getting back on track. I don’t have anywhere to go, and I really don’t have any life skills. I came here looking for a girl, but I doubt I have the guts to talk to her, so I don’t know what to do. All I really know how to do is design and sew costumes. I mean, I was really hoping to start selling a long time ago, but my ex kept making me doubt myself, so now I’m a broke mess…”

And the rambling went on and on. There she was in the parking lot with her several items of luggage behind her, looking desperate. Kevin slowly climbed back down from his window washing and placed his pruny hands on her shoulders. Her presence was so enticing it made it feel to Kevin as if they were the only two people in the world. Even the buzzing of pollinator insects in the jasmines seemed to stop.

Thank heaven, she wasn’t a foid.

“Ruse,” he simply said her name. A cute name for a cute girl.

“You’re not gonna hurt me, are you?” She started to cry again. She looked so small and scared in his giant shadow.

“I would never hurt a female.” Unless she liked it rough. “It’s against my nature,” he winked, “and the gentleman’s code.”

And it would probably get him pepper sprayed...

“You can give me a job?” she continued between snivels. “Like, you would actually do that? Even though I have no experience, and you don’t know me, and-”

“I would love to offer you a job,” Kevin assured her, “and after that we can figure out a place for you to stay, maybe.” As an expert in the art of romance, he, of course, was already forming plans for her future with him.

Ruse lurched forward without warning and hugged him, not that her arms made it all the way around his globe of a body, but it still served its purpose. “Thank you, Kevin. I really needed this.”

“Nothing less for a beautiful female like you.”

When she released him, he went on, “listen, if you wanna hang out in the store while I’m out here making it presentable, you can. You can make yourself at home in the back, there’s a bed back there and everything. Make some ramen in the microwave if you want, there’s a bowl on top of it, pick whatever you want from the store to eat. My dime.”

He pushed and held open the door, which caused the motion sensor to chime, then Ruse grabbed her many bags and floral suitcase and entered, smiling for the first time at him. Her bright, soft colors lit up the dark shop as she explored. And he was glad to have gained her trust. Her being at a low point in her life helped of course, but he knew he was pulling the majority of the weight.

“Oh!” he called to her once the warm fuzzies wore off, “check the expiration dates before you open anything! The store’s been closed for almost two months, so I don’t know what’s still good! And let me know if you need anything translated, I can read Japanese!”

Ruse nodded as she slipped into Hazuo’s old hideaway behind the register, carrying with her a peach Ramune and a little baggy of Hi-Chew candy. She didn’t know she was technically being put to work already.

“And don’t turn on the lights! I’m sensitive to light and I need to acclimate to it first. And remember, I’ll be out here if you need me for anything. That’s anything!”

Her only response was a quiet giggle. She must’ve thought he was cute.

When the glass door shut and made a latching noise, Kevin turned away and whispered “yes!”

He had scored a total ten out of ten loli-bodied goddess of a girl. And as the icing on the cake, she was now in his debt. He knew being nice to girls would pay off one day!

* * * * *

That evening, Kevin kept himself awake concocting a plan for the near future. He had to present Ruse with the perfect romantic display of affection, the best-ever first impression a man could pull off for a woman. The idea consumed him so much so that it was already past midnight when he finally felt satisfied enough with his plan to sleep.

The next morning, he awoke in his tiny tatami single-room apartment, looked around, and admired the place. He had been living there since he was a teenager, having originally paid for it with his mother’s life insurance pay-out. The apartment was just perfect for that girl, the first girl he had ever wrangled: a dainty black specimen called Ruse. She was an adorable little thing, which obviously meant the universe was finally giving him what he had been asking for and clearly deserved after a long time. Perhaps Ruse would put the place to even more use than he had in the few years he had been renting. He hardly ever touched the bath, since the ever-insightful Reddit dot com informed him that bathing was bad for one’s skin. Besides, the only bath water he needed in his life was Gamer Girl Bath Water, and he kept his sealed jar of it safe on the top shelf of his figurine display case. He also hardly ever touched his oven; the microwave did the job just fine. All he really needed in his diet was zapped chicken nuggies and cold choccy milk anyhow.

But Ruse…he could just imagine her in the bathtub, flower petals and tea lights floating around her…or Ruse in a cute little apron and nothing more, hovering over a delicious sizzling meal on the stove top…

All he had to do was clean the apartment up a little, grab his things, and move them into Hazuo’s old room in the comic shop. He had already slept in Hazuo’s makeshift den many a night, so it wouldn’t be too big of a change.

Ruse would hardly be able to contain her excitement, he knew it. She would especially love the large floor-to-ceiling window once he removed the blackout curtain. If she loved Japan as much as he did, she would love the view of Japantown. His apartment was on the second floor, looking out over a busy street lined with sakura trees and where farmers, traders, performers and other merchants regularly sold their goods. It was the perfect spot from which to take in the vibrant Asian culture.

He got to work wiping down the room with disinfectant, dusting down the cobwebs and scrubbing the walls until they returned from a grubby yellow to their original off-white color. He collected his several waifu figurines and the jar of Gamer Girl Bath Water and placed them in large cardboard boxes, grabbed his fragrant few articles of clothing and bagged them and his few other utensils, snacks, toiletries and electronics, and moved them into his car. The only thing he planned to leave behind was his bedding. All the beds in the apartment complex were built into the floor, and could be latched up and made mesh with the floor when they weren’t in use.

Ruse hadn’t said anything about his scent, so he figured she liked it. He had read online once that women were naturally, involuntarily attracted to the smell of dominant males, which was what he was. So she would be especially pleased getting curled up in his pheromone-ridden nest.

Once he was content with how empty and sterilized the apartment looked and felt, Kevin headed downstairs and explained the situation and his plan to the apartments’ landlady. After this, he headed down to Kawasaki’s with the wonderful news.

* * * * *

“Ruse-san, I have a surprise for you!”

Kevin stood outside the door behind the cash register. The music he had turned on just the day before had been turned off for some reason, but in its place he could overhear muffled sounds of soft, pitchy singing in the kakurega. To him, this meant Ruse must have woken up in a great mood. He held his fedora to his chest; he felt so proud of himself for being ever such a noble sir.

The singing stopped and the door creaked open just so slightly. In the crack, Kevin saw one of Ruse’s large dark eyes peer up at him. And just below that, a glint of light reflected off of her pepper spray. How thoughtful of her to be so prepared to protect the shop!

“Good morning, m’lady. I trust you slept well?” He placed his fedora back onto his greasy head.

Ruse pushed the door open, revealing that she had changed out of her previous day’s clothes and was now sporting a cute purple sailor fuku. Her hair was covered under a matching purple wrap, and dangling amethyst earrings poked out from the corners of her face. “Good morning,” she responded in kind. Then she slipped her pepper spray away in her skirt pocket. “Thank you again. You have a surprise for me?”

The way she asked made it seem to Kevin as if she had never received any surprise gifts before. Had her previous suitor really squandered the relationship that badly?

“Yes, my queen,” Kevin replied dramatically, nonetheless. “I’ve decided to give you my apartment.”

Ruse’s jaw dropped. “Um, you what?” she hardly managed to ask in her state of disbelief. She stepped fully into the doorway, revealing that she had cleaned up and organized Hazuo’s den behind her. Her flowery bookbag was sitting opened on the bed, and beside it were her random toiletries, which were all just as purple as she was. The girl must’ve really liked that color.

“I know, you don’t know how to thank me, but there’s no need. I did it out of the kindness of my heart. Here’s the keys.” He grasped Ruse’s hand and placed the keys into her palm, then placed his hand on top.

Now that there was a shorter gap between them, Kevin was able to smell a light floral fragrance, which he deduced was probably a lotion, because Ruse’s little hands were so moisturized and soft. And she smelled purple. Like lavender, or violets, or grape Fanta. He couldn’t let her alluring scent distract him though. He hadn’t explained everything yet! “That’s the only copy, I swear,” he told her about the keys. “I would never disrespect you and invade your privacy…unless you wanted me to…”

“I, uh…I don’t have any money, though. I thought I told you—” Ruse stumbled over her words. “I’ve never paid rent in my life. I don’t know how any of this works! And I know I can’t afford an apartment!” She was now beginning to shake like a leaf.

Kevin gently pulled her even closer to him. He had already taken care of it. “It’s okay! I’m not making you pay rent. I already spoke to the landlady, and she said it’s fine. I mean, it took a little bit of explaining but I won her over. What I mean to say is: I’m still paying rent, but on your behalf. I’m just gonna take that room behind you.” He pointed into the den. “It’s no big deal.”

Ruse’s bottom lip quivered. “I… This seems so risky for you...”

“I’m willing to take that risk,” Kevin fought back against her anxious thoughts. “You said you like to design and make costumes and stuff, right? Well, there’s more space there, so you can set up whatever you need to be creative ‘n stuff. I even cleaned it up just for you to move in. You just let me know when you wanna go shopping and I’ll get you a few things, like a sewing machine if you need one, or mannequin to model stuff on.” He then eyeballed the bookbag on the bed behind her. “I bet you made that bag. I don’t see a tag or logo anywhere on it...”

Ruse nodded, still looking perplexed.

Excellent. She already had at least one of the skills she would need as his future traditional housewife.

“It looks fucking legit,” he complimented her. And to him, it did. He could imagine that bag going for hundreds of dollars on a cosplay clothing website. It would be the perfect accessory for a lolita girl. “People in our community,” he meant otakus, “pay big money for stuff like that.”

But Ruse’s expression remained the same.

“My pretty little angel,” Kevin placed a finger under her chin and spoke to her in a babying voice, “we have got to get you settled in. Then we can talk about this job. Maybe after a few months, maybe a year, I’ll have the apartment put in your name only, when you’re making money. And I know you will be.”

Ruse sniffed, then bit her bottom lip. “This is a lot. People aren’t usually this nice without an ulterior motive…”

“Tch, some guys are actually nice if you just give them a chance. And it’s just because.” Just because he wanted to get into her size zero pants. “I’m not your ex,” he told her, “who, if you ask me, sounds like a real Stacy.”

“A Stacy?”

“Yeah, those girls who think they’re all that. They can fuck whoever they want and just leave nice guys like me…and you, I suppose…on the sidelines.”

“Um…yeah, she was a Stacy, I guess.” There was a tinge of nervousness in her voice, as if she wasn’t quite sure of what she was saying. “I guess I’m just not used to being treated so well? I should really be grateful, you don’t even know me and you’re treating me-”

“Like a queen,” Kevin finished her sentence. “Like the queen that you are.”

“Thank you. You can just treat me like a normal person, though. I have a lot to learn about being in the real world, and I think being treated as an equal would prepare me better for the future.” She placed the keys into her fuku skirt pocket opposite her pepper spray.

Kevin raised an eyebrow. “You’re a strange one, miss Ruse.” A female, equal? Not in a million years. Her options were: let him treat her like a queen while being his subordinate, or be a dumb foid like all the other shitty females who wanted ‘equality’. “But I respect your wishes.” He did not. He would have her someday, he swore it to himself.

“And this is all legal, right?” Ruse asked.

“Of course, but I don’t wanna bore you by explaining leasing.” This was because he himself didn’t fully understand it either. It was probably legal. Fortunately, she seemed to just take him at his word. He stepped back and around the corner to the customer side of the register and set his hand on the counter top. “If you wanna be my equal,” he told her, “you could help me clean out the store today. It’s been closed for a few weeks since my old business partner died, go meifuku o oinori shimasu, and I’m gonna do a grand re-opening soon. Like I was saying yesterday, I hafta toss all the expired stuff to make room for some new freight. So if you want to be my equal, you can start there. And maybe while we’re at it, I can teach you some Japanese.”

“Then we can see the apartment later?”

“Hai, we will see your new digs when we’re done.”

* * * * *