Ilian lay facing me, his body pressed as tightly against mine. He had one hand draped around my waist, the other curled under his chin. He looked so serene. He looked so peaceful. I could tell by the rise and fall of his chest that he wasn’t fully asleep yet. 

When we returned to our room, Ilian wasted no time curling up under our blanket. He beckoned me to him playfully, and tried his best to put on a happy face. But I could tell he was still uneasy. Not wanting to upset him further, I allowed him to hold me close.

Burying my hand in his hair, I let his curls tease my skin and relished the feeling of him. Every part of him was soft and inviting, making it so easy for me to lose myself in his peace. But his peace wasn’t something that I deserved right now. Even still, I couldn’t help but allow myself to revel in the simple pleasures he offered me.

Leaning my head down, I placed a soft kiss between Ilian’s brows. I loved the way his skin felt against my lips. I kept imagining what his lips would feel like against mine. I’d never kissed anyone like that before, truthfully up until recently I’d never wanted to. But Ilian had a way of making me crave things I never had before. Something that was both terrifying and thrilling to me at the same time.

Ilian stirred from sleep's embrace and whispered quietly into the dark, “Are you okay?”

“Go to sleep,” I whispered back to him.

“We both know that isn’t going to happen until I know you are okay,” he said, trailing his hand up my side to rest on my shoulder.

His soft touch sent chills down my spine and I had to force myself to stamp down the hunger pains that flared in me in response, “I’ll be okay, Ilian. Get some sleep.”

Ilian sighed and trailed his hand up further to toy with the bottom of my jaw. His fingers leaving trails of ice on my skin. A low purr formed in my throat as he continued to play with me. I wanted so desperately to beg him to stop. To allow me a moments relief from the torture he was currently putting me through. But at the same time I never wanted his play to end. His touch felt heavenly, the torture was how hungry it made me for more.

“Talk to me,” Ilian begged.

I placed another kiss on Ilian’s brow, letting myself stay there for a moment longer before I spoke again, “I don’t want to ruin this, please. Let me be selfish. Let me feel you a little longer,” I pleaded.

Ilian lifted his head slowly to look me in the eye, “You aren’t going to ruin anything, just talk to me. You have been in a bad mood all day and I just want to help.”

“I hurt someone today, and I failed you in the process. I don’t want to talk about it because… because I don’t want to lose you.”

Sadness filled Ilian’s eyes. Pulling me closer to him, he rested my cheek against his. His breath was hot against my skin as he spoke, “You tried for me, Kiri. That’s all I’d ever ask of you. Don’t beat yourself up because they won’t listen to reason. You matter more to me than they do.”

Relief poured through me at Ilian’s words, “Do you really not care that I hurt one of them?”

Ilian sank his hand into my hair and held me close, “I’m sure you had your reasons. I trust in your judgment, Kiri.”

I growled at the feeling of Ilian playing with my hair. The fears that I had about him finding out faded into the background, allowing me to revel in how good Ilian felt. I could feel the smile tugging at the edge of Ilian’s lips as he listened to my quiet murmurs. We let the silence settle between us as the peace sank in. I traced the outline of Ilian’s arm and savored the gentle curves of his body.

“Ilian,” I whispered.

“Yes, Kiri?” He rubbed his nose playfully against my cheek and twirled my hair between his fingers.

“You feel good like this.”

I could feel the spike of happiness and excitement that flooded Ilian’s veins. Inhaling deep, I mentally cataloged every miniscule aspect of his scent so I could remember it later. When Ilian was excited it was like his scent was amplified a tenfold. Every individual part, the sweetness of honey, the crispness of ginger, all of it smelled so much brighter. So much warmer. Its complex levels of pure comfort dragged me deeper into the paradise that was Ilian.

Between the intoxicating presence that Ilian had in this moment, and the weight of failure finally being lifted from my shoulders, I found myself slipping deeper into Desire’s grasp. Every part of me craved to feel more of Ilian, to taste the sweet delicacies that he could offer me. Desire’s siren serenade beckoned to me from deep within my subconscious, urging me to take my fill. You have been ignoring me all day, just give in. Think of how good it will feel. How good he would feel, Desire cried.

Unable to stop myself, I moved my hand up and traced the outline of Ilian’s lips. They felt so soft under the pad of my finger. Beaming with excitement, Ilian mimicked my touch and gently caressed my rougher cracked lips. Smiling, I gently nipped at the pad of his fingers with my fangs. Ilian let out a soft moan and I could feel the heat flooding his cheeks. His grip on me tightened slightly as fire brewed in his veins. His heat sent waves of desire to pulse through me. Needing to feel more of him I ran my hand under his shirt and pulled him closer to me. I could feel him shiver with anticipation in my embrace.

“Kiri,” Ilian moaned softly.

“Yes,” I answered, my voice shaking uncontrollably.

Ilian nudged my head up slightly and let his lips rest a breath away from mine, “Kiss me please,” he begged.

Closing my eyes I brushed my lips against his softly. Ilian’s voice was husky as he moaned my name against my lips. Returning his hand to tease my jaw, Ilian held me close so he could continue our kiss. My body shook ferociously from the weight of the desires that flared inside of me. I’d never felt anything this good in my life and every fiber of my being screamed for more. I kissed Ilian harder, allowing my fangs to graze his bottom lip. 

Ilian pulled back and traced his kisses down my chin, “You are hungry.”

Growling low in my throat I tilted his head back so I could capture his lips again. Ilian had no idea just how hungry I was. How hungry his touch made me. But I’d gladly starve if it meant I didn’t have to let go of this moment with him. Ilian tried to pull back again, but I quieted his protests by rolling him over to lay on his back. I allowed the weight of my body to press into his and snaked one arm around his waist, using the other to toy with the soft flesh of his stomach.

“Kiri. Please. You. Need. To. Eat,” Ilian muttered in between our kisses. 

“I’d rather starve,” I breathed heavily.

Ilian reached up and held a finger to my lips, preventing me from kissing him again, “I’d rather you not. Please feed.”

Giving him a pleading look, I puffed out my lower lip. Placing a gentle kiss on my chin, Ilian pushed me up so he could move to a sitting position. Letting out a soft whine, I protested his stop of our play. 

“I know, but you really should feed. Not to mention it’s almost dawn and neither of us has slept yet,” Ilian said.

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, he was right. Ilian needed sleep, and I needed to feed. The hunger that he had brewed in me was fierce and I could feel myself wavering on the edge of blacking out again. A few minutes more of his kiss and who knows what kind of monster would have come out of me. Pushing my selfishness aside, I moved to sit next to Ilian. 

“Come feed, Kiri,” Ilian beckoned, pushing the fabric of his shirt aside so I could access his neck easier.

My mouth watered at the sight of him like that, so open and inviting. So ready for me to enjoy. I had to stop myself from throwing him to the floor. Stop myself from giving in to the temptation to rip into him. Growling lightly, I looked away to try to stamp down the devil that was rising inside of me. I needed to calm myself before I fed from him. 

Gently pulling me back to him, Ilian whispered to me softly, “It’s okay. You aren’t going to hurt me. Give me the pleasure of taking care of you.”

Shivers of need rippled down my spine at his soft and pleading tone. The world around us began to fade until all that was left was Ilian’s quiet comforting words. His soft reassurances that everything would be okay. His pleas to ease my aches. Each syllable eradicating what little will I had to resist his calls. I could feel Desire taking over. His taunting laughter echoed in my mind as he started to take control. My limbs no longer belonged to me. I was a mere face in the audience forced to watch as Desire cradled Ilian in our arms.

Our fangs sank into Ilian’s throat, causing him to let out a slight hiss that quickly morphed into a deep moan as he felt me lick and tease his skin. The saccharine liquid eased our desperate hunger, but once again only left us wanting more. I pleaded with Desire to not give into our gluttony. To only take what we needed. At first I thought he wouldn’t listen. That he would only grow angry with my demands. After all, I had spent the entire day trying my damndest to ignore him. But the minute our hunger was sated, he released our fangs from Ilian’s neck. 

He is your’s, Desire said, releasing his hold on me and fading into the background of my mind. Sighing in sweet relief, I lapped up what blood was left and trailed a line of kisses up Ilian’s neck until I found his lips again. Ilian held onto me weakly, his body exhausted from lack of sleep and blood loss.

“Gods you always feel so good, Kiri,” he whispered in my arms.

Ilian snuggled against my chest, his body practically limp in my embrace. I lowered Ilian back to the floor and gathered him against my chest. Kicking the blanket back over us, I made sure to give Ilian a majority of our paltry covers. In record time I felt Ilian succumb to his slumber. His breathing slow and shallow in my arms. 

“I love you,” I whispered into the dark, knowing he couldn’t hear me.

I fought against the pull of sleep and instead took my time to memorize how Ilian felt curled up next to me. I wanted to make sure that I took the most out of this moment, that I didn’t waste even a second of my time with him. But soon enough I found myself unable to keep my eyes open and drifted into a calm sleep with him.