Although Li Xiulan was not rich, she was raised as if she was the daughter of nobility. She was taught to read and write very early on, and was quite skilled in calligraphy. While her mother made a living spinning cloth and growing vegetables, Li Xiulan studied books and scrolls. She was a kind girl and helped her mother wherever she could, but Li Jing would always laugh and insist that she continue her studies. Li Xiulan, ever the obedient child, obliged.

Li Xiulan was aware to some extent that her father was someone special. She would kneel and pray to the portrait of him every night, although there was no love in it. Every night, her prayer would be the same: “Father, I wish to become a great scholar and support my mother throughout her entire life.” Every night, there was no reply, and she never felt like any more of an incredible scholar afterwards.

By her twelfth birthday, she could hardly even remember that the man in the painting was her father. Why should she care about some distant heavenly figure who ignored them when she had her mother beside her? She felt a little ashamed that they still called this man their family when he had never once appeared. He didn’t write letters, he didn’t send gifts, he didn’t respond to their prayers. How could he be her father if he didn’t exist?

When Li Xiulan ran errands down in the village, she would sometimes see the villagers praying at an ornate shrine. The village itself was rudimentary, but the White Snake sect had, in an incredible show of wealth and dedication, established these shrines in every single town that was in their district. To have a disciple of theirs ascend to the heavens was, after all, a great achievement, and they wanted everyone to know.

She watched the villagers give offerings and burn incense to a beautifully carved stone statue of her father. He smiled down upon them, his stone eyes so full of life that he may as well be flesh and blood. Li Xiulan would sometimes enter the shrine just to look, imagining what it would be like if he simply broke free of his stony prison.

Of course, none of the villagers knew of her relationship to the god of the shrine. She would often get weird looks for entering without any offerings and leaving without praying at all, but she didn’t mind. After all, the rumors the villagers spread about her parentage were far worse than any strange glances she might receive. 

The villagers often whispered about where she might have come from. After all, they never saw anyone enter or leave the small cottage on the outskirts of town, and nobody had heard of any man living there. To make matters worse, she had her mother’s family name, so the villagers took that as a sign that she must have no father to be named after. They threw around nasty words, calling her a mongrel or a mixed-breed. Li Xiulan knew to ignore them; after all, if they knew who she really was, they would probably beg for forgiveness knowing that the great martial god might strike them down for disgracing her. Even if she could ignore them, though, making friends was all but impossible.

And so, Li Xiulan mostly passed her days indoors, reading novels and practicing her calligraphy, unimpeded by the lack of interaction from others. She learned much about the world from all she read, including the relationships of all the cultivation sects and their different styles of cultivation. Li Xiulan found that her mother would often try to hide these books, and sometimes certain pages were torn out or marked through to make them illegible. 

Although it was rare that Li Jing mentioned her past, Li Xiulan was well aware that her mother had once been a renowned cultivator from all the stories she had read. Her interest in the subject only grew the more she was forced away from it. She was not strong nor did she seem to have any natural spiritual abilities, but despite that, she found herself buying books and scrolls without her mother’s knowledge and smuggling them into her room to read in secret during the night.

Her interest only grew as the years passed. A cultivator would usually begin their training at a young age if they wanted to reach their full potential. Li Xiulan was approaching the age where it would be too late for her to pursue the path of cultivation, and she was well aware of it. 

As she consumed more and more tales of cultivators slaying demons and ascending to the heavens as gods, she found herself becoming restless during the day. The more she sat and practiced calligraphy, the more she found herself wishing to cultivate. After all, wasn’t it somewhat like calligraphy? A repetitive, calming motion. Couldn’t she just clear her mind, meditate, gather spiritual energy…

But she was also aware that without guidance, cultivation could easily go awry and have disastrous consequences. She could end up tearing herself apart, maybe even taking down her mother with her… or the entire village, if she was unlucky. She began meditating several times with the intent of building her spiritual power, but was stopped every time by this thought. 

On the eve of her sixteenth birthday, Li Xiulan went to her mother with a proposition.

“I wish to join the White Snake sect. If I win the essay competition in the capitol, will you let me go?”

The essay competition was an annual week-long writing event where scholars from around the country would gather. They were slowly eliminated until the final winner was chosen by majority vote from a small pool of remaining candidates at the end of the week. Hundreds of people traveled from far and wide to join and bring recognition to their skills. Some of the winners had even been recognized by the gods, being ascended to the heavens on the spot. Because of the intensity of the competition, it was nearly impossible to win. 

Li Xiulan knew that her skills were not nearly good enough. She was also well aware of the fact that her mother greatly disapproved of her following the path of cultivation, however. Nothing short of a miracle would change her mind. As slim as her chances were, if there was a chance, she was willing to take it.

Li Jing thought for a long while. Her promise to Bai Chen was still as fresh in her mind as it was the day it was made, along with the many horrors she had been forced to bear witness to during her time. But she also saw Li Xiulan, alone and unhappy, curled over a book with no purpose in her life. 

She did not want her daughter to follow this path. The portrait on the wall smiled lovingly at her, reminding her endlessly of her promise. But the chances of Li Xiulan winning were so slim. Surely there was no way that Li Xiulan would win this bet, and perhaps losing here would satisfy her and make her devote herself more to the life she could have. Li Jing made her decision.

“I will not let you join the White Snake sect.”

Li Xiulan’s eyes darkened instantly and she opened her mouth to complain, but Li Jing raised a hand and cut her off.

“However… If you are able to win the competition, I will hire a teacher for you. You can learn cultivation as long as you stay away from the sects.”

Li Jing knew this was not the answer Li Xiulan wanted. To be independent in this world was to be weak. She would never be able to do the things that she had imagined or meet the people she revered. But, she would be safer if she didn’t attempt those things. If Li Xiulan was truly devoted to learning cultivation, she would accept.

Li Xiulan considered her mother’s proposal. In all her dreams, she had been alongside a group of other young cultivators, hunting down demons and spirits, traveling and training together as they grew stronger. To study alone would be to throw away many of the things she desired. But the more she considered it, the more new images began to dance in her mind: she would train alone with a master, growing strong through individual instruction. She would hunt demons every night and meet disciples from all different sects, becoming friends with them and making a name for herself as a wandering cultivator with no home sect. The cultivation sects would eventually come to recruit her and she would end up right where she wanted to be!

It wasn’t exactly what she had imagined, but it was still enticing. With that, she accepted the deal. 

She had one month until the essay competition began.