JESSIE

"So, when were you going to tell us the Avian thought you were its wife?" Darin as he, me, and Ola made the tense, silent walk back into the settlement. I ignored him, stepping into the manual elevator with him. Ola stepped in after me, pulling the lever. The clanking noises of the gear chains the elevator made as the metal cage we were in moved downwards filled the silence. I looked straight up ahead, refusing to look at Darin, or Ola, for that matter.

The elevator came to a stop, and the cage door in front wound open with the harsh sound of rusting gears. I stepped out first, tucking my hands into the pockets of my blue jumpsuit as I sped walk into the hallway up ahead.

"It put its tongue in your mouth," Darin said in an exasperated voice. "It licked your hair and growled at us."

I kept walking, and the two of them followed behind him, weaving through the people we came by, as I kept marching towards the meeting room Ola had shown me yesterday after Darin had shown me to my quarters, and the mess hall.

"You're just not going to say anything?" Darin asked when I stopped in front of the door, waiting for Ola to fish out her keys. She seemed as uncomfortable as I was, but I knew what she saw with Luc had also shocked her, though she seemed to have the decency not to scream about it in the middle of the hallway.

"I'm sure Jessie will better explain when we get inside the meeting room," Ola said, as the key clicked in the lock, making the door open. She turned the handle and pushed the door open before slipping in. Darin glared at me like that would force me to say something. I just stared back before slipping into the room after Ola. He'd been flirty with me yesterday, and maybe this was just him acting out. H walked into the room and took a seat across from me on the curved table, sitting beside Ola as I sifted through my backpack for the papers I had ripped out of the notebook.

I found them, and placed them on the table, separating the pieces of paper as I observed Luc's writings and drawings. It was an idea Ola had come up with when I explained how I communicated with Luc. She and Petrova were very insistent on getting more language samples for Josephine to inspect — if they could read Avian, maybe they didn't even need to talk to them, and maybe the one they had on base here would be more receptive to writing than being forced to talk.

I felt a sting of guilt remembering that they had an Avian here. I hadn't seen it myself, but the lab had been closed yesterday and Ola told me she would introduce me to the creature sometime so I could try to communicate with it under Luke's supervisor. I wondered what Luc would think of me if he knew that there was a child of his kind here, being housed in a lab—

"Jessie."

I blinked, looking up at Ola.

She smiled a little. "Can I have the samples?"

"Oh, right," I said, pushing them towards her. Darin leaned in closer to her to look at him, not looking very impressed.

"Would it have written something more useful if you promised to suck its dick?" Darin asked and Ola's eyes flew wide open and my face warmed up.

"He doesn't need a bribe to get that done," I said slowly, starting to get frustrated. Why couldn't he just let it go? I was helping them even though I didn't have to.

It was Darin's turn to go wide-eyed and red-faced. "That's a joke, right?"

I stayed quiet.

"Tell me that's a joke right now—"

"Darin, let's not get into this," Ola sighed, covering her face with her hands. "It's really not our business. We're getting what we need for the investigation."

Darin's gaze shifted to her, softening, but the frown not fading entirely as he rested back on his chair. "Okay. I'll just pretend like he didn't say that."

"Thank you," Ola sighed, dropping her hands before counting under her breath and opening her eyes.

"He's going to write more stuff, isn't he?" Ola asked, turning to me.

"Yes," I said, slouching forward. "If he understood what I meant. I know Petrova wanted something more concrete, but as I explained yesterday, he's not talking extensively in English. I can't just ask him to tell us about the kidnappings or write whatever Josephine wants. He barely understands me as it is."

"I understand," Ola said, "and these do help." She added. "Luke might be able to get the avian here to do the same. We don't know how juvenile it is. It might be able to write to."

I felt myself cringing as the smile on my lips stretched into a thin line. Even if it could write. What could it say? If it was a child, why would it have any business with what adults were doing? And just judging from how Luc acted when it came to other Helli, it seemed that they didn't talk or interact with each other too much and kept their distance.

We talked a bit — well, Ola mostly talked while I fixed my gaze on the table while Darin frowned at me. I knew that what I'd been doing with Luc wasn't easy to swallow, but I was already used to people treating me strangely because of sexual preferences. Being gay hadn't been rare back home — not by any means, but regardless of what decade or century humans were in, there was always this weird limbo where you could be accepted with open arms or not. Darin did seem like he was flirting with me yesterday, so he should have understood better — somewhat.

But I guess trying to compare being gay to fucking an alien was a bit of a stretch. I guess I couldn't see it that way because, to me, Luc was just a man. Under all that fur and feather — under that large inhumane exterior. He was just a man like me, and we had grown to care for each other deeply, and he'd treated me better than any partner ever had.

I'd never been coerced into sex or screamed at. I'd never gotten hit or had my feelings invalidated — if anything, Luc seemed to feel my feelings. My hurt pained him and he would do anything just to see my smile... like writing stupid words in a book because I wanted him to. I knew those were very low standards, but standards a human man had never met for me.

"You can go back to your quarters, Jessie. I need to talk to Luke," she said, smiling a bit. "And Petrova and John, just to catch them up. Luke will come get you when he's going for his shift with the Avian—"

There was a pause as Ola looked at me and then at Darin. "We'll keep unneeded details to ourselves," she said, staring daggers at Darin until he nodded.

"Sure," the man said, rubbing the back of his head.

I shrugged. "I don't care if they know," I said, taking that as my cue to get up. I swung my back over my shoulders, waving goodbye before slipping out of the office. I walked through the halls, following the signs that would lead me to the dormitory wing that housed the room I'd been assigned. The air in the settlement tunnel systems was stale and humid, and it made my skin feel a little sticky. As I walked, I heard footsteps behind me and my shoulders tensed up.

"I want to talk to you," I heard Darin say as he came up beside me. I ignored him, fishing out the keys I'd been given yesterday as I stopped at a door. Darin watched me unlock it, then followed me in my forcing the door to stay open when I tried to close it. I gave up, letting him in. He walked in closing the door behind me. He tucked his hands into his pockets, letting out a sigh as his blue eyes searched my brown hair.