Chapter 5 - Jordan

Saturday Evening

“I can’t believe he fucking agreed to this.” Arms crossed, Mason stares down at the coffee table at five prints that took me days to narrow down. I haven’t had the chance to re-take Leo’s photos since the whole coffee fiasco on Tuesday, but I decided to develop them anyway. 

“When will I see you again?”, is what I texted him that same Tuesday night.

His smartass replied with, “Woah I just left and you’re still thinking about me. You really can't get enough of me, huh?” Followed by a “Sure you did,” when I said I meant when will I see you to reshoot. From Wednesday to next Monday he works at both that coffee shop and The Rabbit Hole so I won’t see him until then. I was hoping I’d see him as much as I could before he starts school but he’s such a workaholic. Which I really like about him. I see so much of myself in him. 

Yesterday I was near his coffee shop for an appointment.

He gave me a smile when I walked up to the counter and before saying anything he gave me my usual. “It’s on the house.” Our fingers touched as I grabbed my cup and sat down at one of the booths. 

As I worked, I occasionally snuck glances which he met a few times. Later during his break, he came over.

“It’s so busy all the time how the hell do you manage this all by yourself?” Supposedly they have three baristas. Him, his manager Lina and another guy who goes to the same school.  I say supposedly because up until now I’ve only ever seen Leo work the register and make coffees—I haven’t even seen his manager again. 

He just shrugged and rested his head on his hands on the table as I lowered the screen of my laptop. “Dunno, I like being on my feet. I feel like it’s a part of my personality.” With strands of his curly black hair over his face, he looked up at me, a playful smile tugged at his lips. “Are you coming to visit me tomorrow night?”

“Do you want me to?” 

I haven’t been back to the Rabbit Hole since that night because I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to come. And I don’t want to distract him while he’s working. Even though I’ve already bothered him a couple of times; that one night at the Rabbit Hole and a few times here. 

He paused for a bit, then slightly bit his lower lip. “Yeah, I do.”

That was Thursday and I had a busy day on Friday getting my apartment ready for Jamie that I didn’t have time to go see him. 

Now it’s Saturday evening, and Mason is standing in the middle of my living room.

“Maaan, you’re never beating those stalker allegations.” He picks up one of the prints. “He’s good though. Have you signed him yet?”

I lean back into the couch. “Nah, I haven’t asked him yet. I don’t think he’ll have enough time to commit to this. I doubt I will either.” Once I start taking on projects again I’ll have booked contracts in different countries. Even though I could take pictures of just Leo for the rest of my life, it’s not feasible for either of us right now.

I tell Mason this as he puts the print back on the table and settles beside me. “Is that why or is it because you want to fuck him?” 

I let out a dry laugh and roll my eyes. “No, it’s not going to happen-” Before I even finish Mason lets out a belly laugh and flashes me an skeptical look.

“Jord, you are in love with this guy.” He gestures towards the prints. 

“That’s a stretch. Love is a big fucking stretch.” I put air quotes on love. I haven’t thought about it much because, I mean, it’s obvious I’m attracted to him. A blind person could see that. Even when I don’t have the camera pointed at him, I can’t take my eyes off of him. 

“Okay, you are in like with this guy. Either way, you want to fuck him and that’s why you haven’t signed him yet.” 

Maybe he’s right. Maybe subconsciously I haven’t asked because once he’s signed, that’s it. But I won’t admit that to Mason and let him win.

Before I get a chance for a rebuttal, my phone buzzes in my back pocket. I stand up, pulling it out as I walk over to the floor-to-ceiling windows. The room's lit up with fiery shades of orange and red from the sun that just finished setting. I never bothered to put up curtains because these sunsets take me back to times of playing with Jamie on the beach as the day faded from evening to night.

I unlock my phone at the same time Mason wanders over, leaning his body weight on the window panel and taking a swig of a half-empty beer bottle.

Leo: wydddd

I turn the phone screen to show him the text. His eyes widen and a grin stretches across his face. “Shit, he totally wants you too. Three D’s you know what that means?” 

I shake my head. 

“He wants you to dick dick dick him down.” He makes a thrusting motion and starts laughing at himself while I try to feign annoyance. 

Leo: You still owe me spaghetti 

“Tell him to come over. I gotta go soon anyway. Maisies’ started teething.” 

That sounds like my own personal hell.

“Good fucking luck.” I tell him.

“Thanks,” He groans.  “I’ll desperately need it.” 

“No, I meant for Amber. For having to look after two kids.” 

“Fuck off,” Mason mumbles as he tips his head back, emptying his glass. 

The tipsiness from three glasses of wine allows me to ask Leo to come over. Not even a minute goes by before I get a reply.

Leo: omw!

15 minutes later, my doorbell rings. Mason follows me to the door and he wastes no time embarrassing me. As soon as I open the door, he whistles. 

“Damn Jord,” he snorts, giving Leo a once over before turning to me and attempting but failing to lower his voice. “He’s exactly your type.” 

Fucking hell. 

He mouths a “Sorry” but I know he’s not because he’s still cackling like an idiot. 

I give him a death glare but he pretends he doesn’t see it and reaches his hand out. “Nice to meet you again. My name is Mason by the way.”

 Leo shakes his hand. “You already know my name.”

“And I’m gone. Jordan is staring at me like he wants to murder me.” He must feel finally the heat of the daggers I’m staring into the back of his head. 

 I shoot him a sarcastic smile. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Hands up in defeat, he sidesteps Leo to the door. “You two kids have fun, but not too much, you hear me?” I too walk around Leo to stand in front of Mason at the door. He starts to mouth a “Love you” but before he finishes, the door is already shut in his face. 

I slowly turn to face Leo. “Sorry, he’s…” Leo shakes his head and starts walking toward the living room. “He’s fun.” 

Yeah, ‘Fun’ sure is a funny way to put it.

———

I'm in the middle of cooking a meal for us when my phone starts ringing. The familiar ringtone of Jamie's ringtone echoes in the kitchen.

Stirring sauce and with both hands occupied, I nod toward the phone. "Leo, can you get that? Put it on speaker." Leo hops up from a counter stool and does as I ask. 

Jamie's voice, hushed and unmistakable, fills the room. "Hi Jordy."

“Jamie, why are you whispering?” I ask, trying to keep my focus on the sizzling pan.

"I'm hiding. In the closet."

I exchange a puzzled look with Leo. "Why?"

"Mom's making broccoli stir fry again."

I can't help but laugh, memories of our childhood antics coming to mind. "You know, you're almost 20. You can't survive on just nuggets and fries."

Jamie's voice is mock-offended. "Is 20 the chicken nugget-eating cut-off age? I'm still 19, thank you very much!"

Leo quietly laughs, and I shake my head, amused. “I wish you could see how hard I'm rolling my eyes at you right now.” 

A muffled noise sounds from Jamie's end. "Jordy I gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

As the call ends, Leo’s smiling. “Your brothes is adorable.”

I sigh, a smirk playing on my lips. "Adorable? Not when I had to secretly eat his share of veggies. Imagine ten-year-old me, downing double the Brussels sprouts. Not my idea of fun."

Leo's laughter fills the room. "You're a good brother. If I had a brother, I'd want him to be like you."

I pause, looking at him. "Don't say that." My mind races, and I can't help but think, did I just get brother-zoned...?

After scooping spaghetti and sauce on two dishes, we move to the couch with our plates. I turn up the volume on the Bluetooth speaker and a soft jazz music playlist fills the room. As we settle down, Leo's eyes catch the photos spread out on the coffee table. "Are these the ones you picked out?"

I nod, taking a bite. "Yeah, I'll show you after we eat."

We dig into the food, and for a moment, there's just the sound of cutlery and chewing. Suddenly, Leo makes a face, his expression exaggeratedly disgusted. I pause, fork halfway to my mouth, and he bursts out laughing, covering his mouth. 

"I'm kidding! It's decent, but yeah, not better than Italian spaghetti.”

I playfully roll my eyes and take a sip of my wine. "Want some?" I offer.

He shakes his head. "I don't drink. Only on special occasions, really. Plus just one glass makes me horny.” I pretend like I don’t almost choke on my drink which he thankfully doesn’t notice because he’s taking a sip from a glass of water, eyes focused on the muted TV. 

Before I can say anything, Leo turns to me with a thoughtful expression. "By the way, what did you want to ask me the other day?”

Cup still in hand, I wipe my lips with the back of my hand. He means in the stairway last week when Jamie called. There are actually two things on my mind, but I voice just one of them. 

"Why did you recommend that white wine? There were tons of reds on the menu."

Leo grins, mischief evident. "First off, why'd you get it if you know you absolutely despise white wine?"

I shrug, a little defensive. "Because I trusted you."

He raises a questioning eyebrow. "You trust people that easily?"

I smirk. "Nah, you just had a trustworthy face." 

Leo looks confused. "You couldn't even see my face properly. Could you?"

I laugh. Exactly.

Catching on, Leo rolls his eyes. "To be honest, I just picked the first thing I saw. Turned out to be something you don't like.”

"You're so evil," I tease. 

He chuckles. "You knew that, and yet you still pursued me."

Feeling a bit exposed, my face heats up. "Yeah, I guess you're right.” 

Focusing on the TV, we finish eating our spaghetti, plates showing traces of sauce and a few leftover noodles, when Leo perks his head.

“Can I call you Jordy?" He asks out of the blue.

I shoot him a frown and quickly answer. "No."

He pouts and innocently tilts his head to the side. “Why not? Your friend and brother call you that.”

I'm searching for the right words. Truthfully, I don’t know how I feel about a guy I’m attracted to calling me by a nickname my little brother and mom have used since I was five. "Well, because... you're my model. It’s not professional.”

His lips rise. "Oh but eating pasta on the floor of your living room is? Also, I don't remember signing a contract. Technically, I'm not your model.” He exaggerates the word technically.

I try to read him. Is he hinting at something? I mean, yeah, we started with one shoot, but now we've done two and already have more planned. 

Switching gears, Leo asks, "Speaking of, don't you have other models to shoot? You must have a million other models signed to your company.”

I shake my head. “We have around 60 models. And I'm on a break. Just finished this big project in Japan."

His eyes light up. "Ooo, tell me more.”

I hesitate. I don't usually chat about work, especially with models I shoot. But Leo's has this genuine curiosity. So, I dive into the Japan gig, the ups, the downs, and everything in between.

After a monologue, I stop, feeling a bit self-conscious. "Sorry, this might be a bit dull for you."

Leo shakes his head, looking sincere. "Not at all. I love hearing people talk about things they’re passionate about. I'm always the first to encourage people to explore themselves and find what they love to do in life. So I’m happy to hear you talk about this with me.”

His words give me a warm feeling, and I can't help but smile, feeling a connection I didn't expect. 

I mull over his words for a moment, then venture, "So, what's your life passion?"

Leo shrugs, looking a bit distant. "I don't have one."

I raise an eyebrow, incredulous. "You just gave me that whole spiel, and now you say you don’t have one?”

He takes a deep sigh, pausing before he speaks. "Remember when I asked you about why you got into photography? How you just knew that’s what you wanted to do?” I nod. 

Leo continues. "Some people, like you, are just lucky. Born with this natural, gravitational pull towards something. You were snapping pics before you could even talk, not even knowing what a camera was. But you were drawn towards it in some unexplainable way, right?"

I bite my lip, thinking about how my first word was 'photo', but I don't interrupt.

Leo goes on. "I never had that pull. I’ve never woken up one day excited about my life or what I’m going to be doing in the future. There’s so much I wanna do but I don’t have that thing. I just live my life as it comes with no real goal. Kinda like I’m on a boat stranded out in sea just letting the wind take me wherever. Sure, I might graduate college next year, but then... what?"

On the surface, he always seems so put-together, so sure. But now, hearing his vulnerability, I realize there's so much more beneath that confident exterior.

I lean in, placing a reassuring hand on his arm, trying to offer some comfort. "Leo, you're young. There's a whole world out there and so much time ahead of you. Life isn't a race. Hell, even if you were 60 years old, it's never too late to find your calling. Just because some of us stumble upon our thing early doesn't mean you won’t.”

He nods slowly, letting my words sink in.

"I promise, there's something out there for you,” I continue. “Maybe you see passion in others 'cause you're still searching for yours. You’ll find it. I’ll help you find it."

Leo gives a sad smile, pulling his knees to his chest. "I hope so,” he murmurs.

Movie credits start to roll and as the room grows quiet, I sense that this is only the start of something deeper between us.