Intersection:
the point or part where two or more things meet or overlap.

Roger Barr

It simply ended in a few words despite the five years of memories and battles. There were no tears from both of us, I was too shell-shocked but you, I wondered, what was happening inside your head and heart.

Mine burst intensely and my head rang like crazy, signaling for me to do something- but I was frozen. Everything in me malfunctioned.

I saw your eyes and they're dead serious with a glint of sadness but most of all, it was guilt. And it was eating you greedily as you let go of us.

"I need to go," she took a sip and gathered her things before leaving what was supposed to be our romantic dinner date after the hectic days we had.

"You confessed your love and told me you missed me just a few days ago," I was confused at how quick this all could turn upside down. Before the door could stay shut forever, I rushed to her in desperation. My hands grabbed hers and instinctively squeezed them, in need of her touch — to lie that this is not reality but just a bad dream and I'll wake up with a sigh of relief but with an unhinged heart rate.

"Why did it change?" The question rolled out of my tongue. Her eyes never met me and she sighed, "Things could always change without us knowing just like the weather changes unexpectedly. It could be sunny today but raining tomorrow," I was even more baffled.

"What are you talking about?" I wanted a straight explanation and not metaphors that forces me to study and understand.

"What we had is love but I'm not strong enough to stay in this relationship. I'm not ready to stay with you forever."

"And you're saying this five years later? Don't you think, you're too late to use that excuse?" I spat in disbelief.

"Is this because I asked you to marry me?" I let go of her delicate hands to take a hold of her shoulders as I bent down to her eye level. "I can wait if you're not ready. I can wait as long as you need because I love you so damn much. And this relationship doesn't need marriage to prove it."

"Don't lie to me!" Her eyes shot up and now we were looking at each other. "I know you! You've always wanted a family of your own but not me, not yet. I'm not ready for it." She confessed.

"That's why I'm telling you, I can wait. I don't want to pressure you. I don't want to end this just because of me asking you to marry me," I softly explained.

"And do you think it would be easy to continue as nothing happened after I've rejected your hand. After I drown your dreams. Do you think it would be easy?" She fought back.

"I know you hate to disappoint anyone but this is me, someone who loves you despite your flaws. You're not breaking my dream of making a family. My dream of a family doesn't mean it has to be now. I'll help you see that I'm okay even if you want to continue dating."

"You're a good guy, Roger. You understand me and are always patient with me but I sometimes feel it's a burden because now I have to do the same. I have to understand you when I don't want to or remain calm while I'm too agitated." Our relationship hasn't always been smooth sailing but it was worth it. Five years with more than enough hurdles needed to bring us together and stronger than ever, was what I've thought but maybe I was just making up my own assumptions. I know how she hates disappointing anyone and would do mostly everything to please them. I know she doesn't feel comfortable voicing her thoughts even if she hates it.

And I've always told her to speak whatever she wants when she's with me but habits are hard to die. Even if it has been five years. So, I did what was best at this moment (or maybe I'm making another assumption).

"Let's take a step back so you can calm down and think things through," I smiled and she quietly agreed. It was no use pushing her when she's too stressed out. I've told her what I wanted her to hear and now, it's a waiting game to let her process everything and slowly understand what I've said.

"Just remember, I love you and I never want you to feel burden with my proposal," those were my last words before she disappeared for a month.

My phone has been busy since but never was it from her however the expectation never once died. Every call and message sent alerts in my whole body which started to be exhausting. Hence, setting a different ringtone was a big help in maintaining my composure.

I laid down on my back and let out a deep sigh, a brilliant light had sneaked into the room and the temperature slowly rose as time ticked away. I had nothing to do but hold onto my phone like a lifeline. That's more than enough time to decide - I mean, even if she's still struggling with the dilemma, we can still contact each other once a while if not everyday. Just to keep each other updated with what's happening. I miss her too much but I was the one who decided that we needed space.

I grumbled in frustration and shut my eyes. Savouring this empty feeling in me, worry began to creep in when I did nothing; What if she decided to end things and didn't bother to tell me? What if it's already over but I'm just too dumb to notice the signs?

It has been a month and my occasional messages have been coldly ignored. She could have just responded with a short reply if she's too lazy or something.

My body was now heating to anger. "I can lose control too."

"Why did I propose?" The ring has been well hidden in the drawers and left untouched since then. Finally, the idea of calling her took hold of me and my fingers habitually dialed her number.

Damn everything. I just need to hear her voice and then I'm good.

The ringing continued and continued until an automatic female voice answered, asking if I wanted to leave a message. I tried again and another call turned into ten times. The same voice picked up.

Maybe she's just sleeping because she had a busy week. And when she wakes up, she'll see my missed calls and quickly call saying: I'm sorry, I slept in and just woke up. What's up, babe?

Yeah and we'll talk for hours about anything. Before we hang up in the middle of the night, she'll hesitantly tell me her answers that she was not ready for the big commitment but she loves me too much and would like to stay as it is and I would gladly agree.

Then, everything is back in order and we still love each other.

I'll try just one more time and when nothing change, I moved my attention to something else: doing spring cleaning, clearing my old clothes to charity or recycled industries, to save Earth because we're overheating her, stock up my groceries, cook lunch, watch a movie, read a book and the list goes on but not once has my phone rang.

The day grew darker and it was already dinner but I wasn't hungry. I was desiring something else. "Should I just go look for her?" I asked my reflection from the dark screen of my phone. "I have more than enough leftovers from lunch, I'm sure she'll appreciate the food," my feet moved on their own and my hands busied with packing the extra lunch.

It took longer than normal to reach her house. The wind shouted near my ear at the speed of my motorbike and the cold clung to my body desperately trying to find warmth. I parked near her apartment and buzzed her home but just like the call, she didn't answer.

"Roger?" A voice called out in the dark and the figure grew closer. She sent me a smile before looking at the buttons and glanced down to the containers. "I made something and just wanted to drop them off to Tiff," I explained awkwardly, squeezing the bag.

"Roger," Her voice broke and her eyes stared sympathetically towards me. "Did she not tell you?" My heart was now beating abnormally, making blood rush towards my brain. I began to feel dizzy and my ears drowned in a buzz. The food is now on the floor and it took everything in me to go home.