First Day Of School
Jan 31, 2025
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didn't really feel like it needed the mature warning other than maybe the swearing? The dialogue again is good. Some of the inserted 'omniscient narrator' exposition is a bit jarring and could easily be turned into bystander dialogue or written as action statements between speaking. The setting itself and pace is good, I'd just recommend doing less 'summary' and more 'show' and 'say'
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