First Day Of School
Jan 31, 2025
Creator
Top comment
didn't really feel like it needed the mature warning other than maybe the swearing? The dialogue again is good. Some of the inserted 'omniscient narrator' exposition is a bit jarring and could easily be turned into bystander dialogue or written as action statements between speaking. The setting itself and pace is good, I'd just recommend doing less 'summary' and more 'show' and 'say'
Recommendation for you
Recommendation
Silence | book 1
LGBTQ+ 27.6k likes
Recommendation
What Makes a Monster
BL 76.8k likes
Recommendation
Silence | book 2
LGBTQ+ 32.5k likes
Recommendation
Secunda
Romance Fantasy 43.5k likes
Recommendation
The Last Story
GL 73 likes
Recommendation
Touch
BL 15.6k likes
Feeling lucky
Random series you may like
2.7k views13 subscribers
Comments (1)
See all