Although the mint ice cream was pretty good it was kind of hard to eat it while Clara drove what felt like 500 km/h without a roof. Was she even old enough to drive? I don’t know, I didn't bother to ask. Although I wasn't ever interested in the popular groups that didn't mean that I didn't care about them. I certainly didn't want to look like a loser to them. Philip was probably occupied with helping his Nellie anyway, it wasn't like he would care about me leaving earlier. I think you already realised that I was always really good at making stupid excuses to go and do something, well, stupid.

Clara wasn't kidding when she said they were going to the farms. Stretching out to the horizon was nothing but farmlands. Crops, tree farms, fruits, anything really. Where we stopped the car was a cleared out land, the smell of cut crops and grass still lingered in the air. They must have cleared it not so long ago.

The spot Clara chose was pretty since though. A tree under the car and a small lake nearby, which two of the guys immediately decided to jump into. It was pretty hot so the idea of jumping in myself didn't seem so bad, although immediately after walking up to the lake the sudden chill I got deterred me from it. Sometimes when you think you're ready to face your fear it immediately reminds you why it's called a fear.

I looked back at the parked car, Clara was sitting beside it in the shade, almost like a parent watching their kids goof around. With her sunglasses and red lipstick leaning on the car I must say she looked like a model posing for a magazine.

Suddenly one of the guys decided to jump into the lake near me, water immediately splashed right onto me. I was just happy at the moment that I wasn't wearing Philip's hoodie. I didn't want to ruin it. The water did cool me off though.

Clara was lightly chuckling to herself from her car, bold of someone that wouldn't even dare to go near the water. I walked back to the car where she immediately handed me another ice cream.

Immediately I unwrapped it and jumped on the car's hood. I may have been trying to annoy her a bit with that. She didn't react though, just continued watching the guys. Not everyone was as easily annoyed as Nathalie I guess.

Clara's light brown hair lightly swayed from the summer freeze as she chuckled to herself. Something behind her smile seemed off though, it was pretty and perfect. Too perfect, like she practiced it beforehand.

She suddenly turned to me, probably because I was staring at her. Was it so hard for me to not do that?!

She did a slight nod, gesturing towards me before noting: "You're a foster kid."

What a way to start a conversation. I just nodded, hoping she would back off on her own. She didn't. She actually sat on the car hood next to me.

"Must be tough.", she nonchalantly continued looking at the guys, like the conversation she wanted to have wasn't the most awkward thing ever.

"Not really."

She looked over at me. I couldn't tell through her sunglasses what she thought about my response. But the way she quickly turned her head made it seem like she was surprised.

She just smiled to herself: "Hm, you're resilient then. I know I wouldn't be able to handle something like that."

That girl made it sound like it's the worst thing in the world. Being a foster child, the most cruel of tortures. At the time I had to keep myself from rolling my eyes. I was sick of people pitying me. Maybe that's why I always told myself the exact opposite of what I thought people thought I felt.

Maybe that's why I always lied about it too: "I kind of like it, it makes making mistakes easier. I get to restart my life anyway."

"After a while you get used to it.", the way she said that felt more personal than it should have. 

Almost like she was saying it out of experience. There was definitely something to her that I didn't quite know yet, a puzzle piece that was missing.

"Fifi!", a distant voice called out.

I turned to see who it was. Lola, happily walking over to us. How did she get here? My question was pretty much immediately answered when I looked behind her and saw a certain person exit his car, Tobias. I pretty quickly jumped off the hood, not sure what to do. Wasn't like I could just leave, the town was a few kilometres away and it wasn't like I paid attention to remember the way back. Philip wasn't happy when I even walked a few meters to his table, now I was out of town with him. In my head I told myself that maybe he won't find out about this. I'll just go back with the group and quickly leave them, he didn't have to know.

"I brought it.", Tobias lifted a pack of glass bottles, which looked like beer.

Lola started looking around as Tobias handed the pack to Clara, almost like she was looking for something, or someone.

The guys immediately came over and started opening bottles. Me and Lola shared a glance, okay she was definitely weirded out by something. 

Almost like on queue Clara opened a bottle and Lola bursted out: "Philip is not with you?"

Her words pierced through the air, a slight worry in her tone. Everyone looked over at me and before I could answer Clara leaned on her car, relaxed as ever.

"Is he her babysitter or something?", she tried handing me a bottle.

But I quickly pushed the bottle away from me: "Oh, I'm not allowed to drink."

Clara raised a brow before questioning me: "Medical reasons?"

"No."

"So, you can drink.", she basically shoved the bottle in my hand.

I guessed a little wouldn't hurt, and it wasn't like I was going to drink the whole bottle or something.

As I opened my eyes I was in Tobias' car with Clara and Lola. Clara was laughing next to me while holding a beer bottle and Lola was talking about something. Did I black out? How much did I drink?! I quickly moved my head up and was met with the strongest feeling of dizziness I have ever felt. Everything felt so blurry and unclear. I remember some, well a lot of the stuff that happened at the lake. Just not how I even got into the car, or when. What time was it?

We suddenly stopped and everyone got out, looking out the window I could tell we were in the town again. A feeling of relief overwhelmed me, I quickly tried to leave the car but on the way out I stumbled a bunch. I made my way to the hood and just leaned on it, trying to regain my balance. It looked like Lola and Tobias were saying goodbye to each other as Clara walked up to me.

"You're fun.", she smiled.

I just nodded: "Thanks."

She looked at me for a moment, almost like she was trying to read something, before she said: "I have to disagree with Lola though. You're definitely not weird. Far from it."

"Lola said I was weird?", I cut in.

Clara chuckled, almost like she seemed amused by my drunk confusion. She looked at me like it was something Lola was known for. I have to say Clara definitely had that aura around that suggested she was someone that just knew things, more than I could have possibly imagined. 

She didn't answer my question. Just as I thought she would walk away she suddenly turned to me and put her sunglasses up on her head. Her light brown eyes almost looked orange in the light.

"Good luck with that Philip guy.", she lightly tapped on the cap on my head before adding: "He seems to be really into your Lady Nathalie."

"Good luck with what?", I scoffed.

"You saw what he did to Tobias after he just insulted her."

My smile slowly faded. Woah, okay that wasn't what I expected her to say. Was that really why Tobias and Philip fought? Hundreds of questions flowed through my mind. Why? When? How? What?! 

Although I had so much going inside my head I only managed to mumble: "He..."

Tobias walked up to us with his phone in hand, just as he was about to say something Clara cut him off, while looking over my shoulder she would say words that I would dread: "Speak of the devil."

I turned, in the distance there was Philip stumping right to us.

"Be careful with him.", her voice now distant.

Just like that, she was gone. Almost like she had vanished or maybe I drank too much and I blacked out for a few seconds.

Her leaving left just me and Tobias there and of course, now Philip. I tried saying something to him as he got close but before I could even get a word in he immediately and violently pushed Tobias as far away from me as he could, Tobias almost fell to the ground. 

"What the hell are you doing here with him?!", he turned to me.

Seeing him that heated really made me flustered. I wasn't quite sure what to say. I tried saying something but I didn't remotely know what. After I was done both Tobias and Philip just stared at me for a few seconds.

"Are you drunk?"

"...No.", at that moment I wished I could really borrow his ability to lie.

I expected to see him get more mad, which he did, but his eyes also showed a slight hint of concern, maybe a bit more than a hint. Looking over at Tobias, I was hopeful he was going to try to help me, but instead something else happened. His face now showed terrified with realisation before he turned to Philip. 

He looked like saw a ghost: "I didn't-"

Philip just frantically grabbed my arm as he basically dragged me away. I tried to pull him off, I hated getting touched, I hated it even more when it was done forcefully, but his grip was too strong. All I could do was to just bare it.

"I've been worried sick! Why are you so wet?!"

"Should we call Mrs Welsh?", Steve turned to Lyana.

Just hearing that name made my stomach turn. I put my head down. Now knowing there was no way out of this, this time they were mad and there was going to be a punishment. Maybe even really a call.

I tried just dealing with the fact that this was it. They were mad at me, Philip was probably pissed, Tobias was pissed, everyone was mad because of me. I looked over at Philip, just as expected he looked mad. Everyone was just staring at me, waiting for an explanation. I clutched my hands, trying my best to keep it together, and just as I was about to confess, Lyana suddenly cut in: "I'm going to go call."

That was it. It was over. Everything was over once again. I shut my stupid mouth. Accepting the fact that there was nothing I could have said. There was nothing that was going to save me. Keep it together, I told myself. I've been through this before, I could go through this again. So don't cry. I tried looking at the wooden floor. I didn't want to look at them, maybe then I would have actually broken. Maybe if I looked I would have seen what was about to come next.

Just before Lyana was about to walk off Philip stated: "I let her go."

We all immediately looked over at him. I couldn't even see a hint of hesitation on his face or anger that was once there.

"I told her that it would be fine if she went with a group on her own.", he said it so confidently I almost believed it.

"What? Why?", Lyana sounded so perplexed.

It took a short moment for Philip to say the next part. For them it was probably because they thought he was ashamed, but for me It was because he had to really try and put his pride aside to tell the next lie.

"I wanted some time to myself. Ever since Fifi arrived I constantly have to follow her around. So, I thought..."

"You thought what? That it would be okay to leave her alone with a group of strangers?!"

I was sent upstairs after that. I just sat on the floor, hearing as the yelling downstairs intensified. The dread swallowed me whole. Why did he even do that? He didn't have to, he definitely did have to! I made a mistake, it should have been me down there. Begging to stay, or crying in defeat. Definitely not sitting here safe in that blank bedroom.

When the yelling suddenly stopped my heart skipped a beat. Was it over? Angry footsteps walked up the old stairs and into the room across from me. As the door slammed shut it felt like everything went quiet. No noise, no nothing. Just emptiness. Thousands of thoughts flooded my mind, but at the end there was only one left after the dust had settled.

What have I done?