Kesper led me back to the palace. I followed without a word, sticking close. I was starting to realise how much I needed his sword, at the least. 

 At the gate, Giselle flew to my side. "Sorry, darling, I lost you! What happened?" 

  "Oh. I-" I couldn't tell her the truth. But the more I lied the bitterer it tasted. 

Her gaze flitted to Kesper. "Did you get caught out?" 

 I nodded. At least I didn't need to think up a lie. 

 "What a drag. Is it so hard to get my best friend alone, even for a second?" She ran a gloved hand down my arm, pouting dramatically. She lowered her lashes, and for a moment her green eyes darkened. "And now you'll be swallowed up by this place again." 

 My throat felt dry all of a sudden. 

 Part one of my plan of being better than Amacia: I couldn't stand putting it off another second. I would be direct. I would be cruel, if need be. 

 "Ewen!" It wasn't hard getting him on his own. 

 But there was a spark of fear, or maybe guilt, as he hurried over to me. This time he didn't try to get too close for comfort, and his whisper was hurried and smacked of paranoia. "Amacia! We're all right, aren't we? That man of yours wouldn't squeal, right?"

 "That man is loyal. To me." Kesper stepped out of the shadows. Ewen took a step back. I wasn't about to be in a room alone with that skid mark of a Duke again. Especially not when I was about to say what I was about to say. "Don't worry, Your Grace," I continued, steeling myself. "No one shall ever find out about our liaison. Lucky for you, we both need to take this to the grave." 

 "Exactly," Ewen panted, eyes darting between me and my towering shadow. "Our love must never reach the light." 

 "As for our love, however. It must die here, where we stand."

  He blinked. "What are you saying, my love?" 

 "I'm saying I'm not your love anymore, and you're not mine." I tried to keep my tone as even as possible. I needed to do this as Amacia. I needed him to believe me. I needed him to keep his trap shut. 

 "Do not be discouraged by this, Amacia. We have weathered more than this." 

 "But I don't want to, Ewen. When I thought we had been exposed, the only thing I could think of was Giselle. Of how I was betraying her. Of how it would kill me to cause her pain. You may not love her, but I still do. As much as I may - or may not - have loved you, you're not worth it anymore. The truth is, I love her more than I love you." 

 His red eyes flashed into outrage. I stared him down. I knew, at my back, Kesper was doing the same. "You would choose mere friendship over love?" 

 "That 'love' seduced me away from what was good and true!" Crap. My voice was shaking. "I can't make you, I have no right - but for her sake, I will ask you: end your engagement to Giselle. She doesn't deserve you."

 Ewen jerked forward; stepped back, then wobbled where he stood. His mouth twisted through a kaleidoscope of grotesque shapes. Then he spat. "She doesn't deserve you either! Evil witch! You were the one that seduced me! You lead me here, only to abandon me and leave me with nothing at all?!" 

  "That's right." I couldn't bring myself to feel even a bit bad for him. Amacia was the witch, not I. "We need not speak again. I know now if you tell anyone in the castle about our affair, it will be way worse for you than me. And you won't tell anyone, Ewen. You're terrified of anyone knowing what a spineless coward you truly are." 

 The fact that he did nothing but stare at me only confirmed that. 

 "Goodbye, Your Grace. May we never meet again as anything but strangers." 

 I left him to stew in his confusion, hurt and betrayal. My heart was pounding with adrenaline. Don't let this blow up in my face. This was the first big move I'd made in my new life as Amacia, and it terrified me. Although - I couldn't say it wasn't also satisfying.  

 "I did it!" I said to myself, and fist-pumped. 

 "Well done, Your Highness." Kesper was smiling at me. How impertinent. 

 "Thank you for being there with me. It was good to know I wasn't alone." 

 "It was my duty," he said, rather more playfully this time. 

 "Yes, yes," I said. "I'm sorry you have to serve someone like me. I'm sure I've been cruel in the past, but now all I want is to do things better." 

  "That is a noble goal. Princess Amacia, I have been your servant since I chose you at twelve years old. I will expend my life keeping watch over you, because it is my honour to do so. As long as it takes." He was kind. He was reassuring. When Kesper was twelve years old, Amacia was dead for all he knew. He was truly a loyal dog.

 The Wyle family had been bodyguards for generations, in Lusile, for their Royal Family. Kesper Wyle's father had served mine as a bodyguard. My father was a Prince of Lusile, before they lost the war and he was married off to my mother, the Alevian Queen. His father followed mine to the enemy country. And when my father was murdered by witches, his father died defending him. 

 Now Kesper served me. And his twin sister served my brother Derek. Her name was Ciel, though I couldn't remember her getting a name in the novel. 

 I was trying to learn more about the world I was living. Make sense of it as more than a story. 

  Next, I stopped letting myself be a doll. 

 Now that the wad of wet toilet paper Ewen was off my back, actual enjoyment began to creep into my life as the heir to a prosperous queendom. 

 Any of the worries that had once ate up my life no longer crossed my mind. I had all the sweets I wanted to eat, powders, perfumes and scented oils, jewels, yards on yards of fabric I could have turned into any outfit I desired. No need to think about where any of it came from; as soon as I see it, it's mine.

 I wore what I wanted to wear, and went where I wanted to go. As Crown Princess, it was my job to inform the servants, not the other way around. I didn't need to be afraid of slipping up, as it was their job to be discreet, and keep me happy. Turns out you don't have to slap your maids to get them to respect you.  

 It wasn't all fun, though. I spent hours in the library each day reading about Alevia and its history. There was a flash of disapproval on the librarian's face as I pulled the most basic books off the shelf, but disapproval was nothing odd for Amacia. It seemed she'd never been a great student. What did she even do? 

 This life was better than the one I had lived before, and Amacia had wasted it. 

 I could take it now and make it mine. 

 Ewen still hadn't ended things with Giselle though, and that was a dark cloud over my attempt to make Amacia over new. I had to watch him flirting with her over the breakfast table like nothing had changed. I couldn't force him to leave her, and I couldn't be friends with him like she wanted me to. The problem was, he was right. She deserved better than me. I needed to put some distance between us. I was only hurting her by being so close to her. 

 "I know it's the right thing to do. But it feels bad either way," I told Kesper. I knew I lacked the strength of will to cut her off on my own. This man who knew my crimes could be objective for me. Faithful as he was, he spoke his mind. "Still, she deserves at least one true friend at her side. She's not in the same social position as I am. If I pull away, all she'll have is that Duke Ewen."

 "All I have to offer in this matter is my opinion, Your Highness," Kesper said. So it would not be good news. "Relying on Miss Giselle less will be for the better, not just for her sake, but for yours as well." 

 At the first Council meeting, I had been too terrified to speak. Too terrified to think either. I remembered nothing. That was my first day as Amacia, and things had changed since then. I'd done my homework. And I meant business. I'd even ordered a new, extra-professional outfit from my tailor, and tied my long hair back with a ribbon.  

 Derek and I sat on either side of the Queen. Derek did not spare me a glance, turning his full attention to whoever was speaking. During the silences, he only watched our mother. 

 She cut a stunning figure. We got our golden eyes from her, but her skin was milk-white and hair the same uncanny yellow, piled on top of her head in a massive globe that served as her crown. She looked ageless, and when her attention was on you it felt like you were caught by some blinding light emitted from her every pore. Today she wore pure white, lace right up to her chin. The beam of her gaze swiveled on her long neck from dignitary to dignitary, and they all returned the attention with all the intentness of my brother. 

 "Subjects!" she declared suddenly, and we all bowed to her. "Our nation fares better day by day, by the Grace of the Trifold God." 

The meeting began, covering the witch hunts in the North (I tried not to squirm), the Eastern Isles border disputes, and then their attention turned South. 

The Queen smiled, right at Ewen, who was important enough to be here. "The day we send you home aproaches." 

 Right. Of course. When (if!) Giselle and Ewen got married, they wouldn't just stay here. He was the Duke of somewhere, after all.  He would take Giselle away, the unsuspecting lamb, to an unfamiliar and dangerous land. This version of the future I didn’t know, and it scared me.

 Wasn’t I supposed to make things better than the first Amacia had?

“Although I am saddened the engagement between you and my daughter was not successful, I am confident your stay has strengthened the bonds of friendship and loyalty between our two families, and you and your new bride will go forth with every blessing and no ill will. May we have peace in the South once again.”

 “I am grateful for your hospitality – and co-operation, Your Holy Majesty. With your renewed aid, the future for the Southlands looks shining bright.”

 What were they actually planning to do in the Southlands?

My mind rifled through the tons of policy documents I’d read, provided by Roger. Many orders had been passed about the unrest in the South.

 But this was more important than that. This was why he was here at all.

 I shot to my feet. “This is cruel! Sending troops south again, when its people are the ones who will suffer, not any rebellious group. They still haven’t recovered from the last war! Surely there is a better way than this – if we only take our time to think things through.”

 Everyone turned to look at me. No one spoke.

 “Such unexpected compassion,” came Derek’s sardonic voice. He narrowed his eyes at me over his glasses. “You were never kind, sister.”

 “You will get more out of kindness in the end than cruelty!”

 “And more than indifference?” he said archly, raising. A chill slithered down my back as I, alone, stood in a room full of generals, princes, and Dukes.

 “Amacia,” said the Queen. “While I am glad you are finally taking an interest in the affairs of our nation, this policy has been discussed for months. If you had an objection, you should have spoken up much earlier.”

 My ears grew hot. I could do nothing. “I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”

 “It’s ‘Royal Mother’,” Derek hissed.

 “And Derek. I remind you to not speak out of turn.”

 “Sorry, Royal Mother,” he said to his shoes.

 “I apologise for my children,” the Queen said to Ewen. “Though I suspect you know them well enough to forgive them.”

 “I know them well enough,” said Ewen.

 The Queen’s long white fingers rippled before coming to rest beneath her chin. “That concludes this week’s council meeting. All preparations will be made in celebration of your departure, Duke Southlands. Ah! Amacia, if you truly wish to begin taking your duties as Crown Princess seriously, I will give you your first solo responsibility. You will be in charge of planning Duke Southlands' farewell procession. Roger will support your vision." 

 "Thank you, m- Royal Mother. For this opportunity. I won't disappoint you." She was not the woman to refuse.  

 "So, you are to plan my goodbye, Macie?" Giselle beamed, lighting up the library. "What luck! You can't avoid me any longer!" 

 "You know I'd never leave you if I could help it," I said. My plan to put distance between us was both going terribly and far too well. If I did nothing soon, she'd be on the other side of the country. 

 "I do hope you'll let me have some say. I've seen your taste in interior design."  

"Of course, darling Zellie. Together, it will be perfect." I smiled, but only with my mouth. If I said nothing, I'd be sending her off into the slaughter. "Will you be happy with him? Do you truly believe it?" 

 Giselle stilled. Those large, lustrous eyes of hers grew round. Her lips parted, then pressed together. She ducked towards me, circling her arms around mine and tucking her face into my shoulder. "Amacia. M," she whispered. "I miss you." 

 Then stay with me. Her eyelashes tickled my skin. "Me too." 

 She jerked away from me. Her face was still turned where I couldn't see it. But Roger, who was here to help with the event planning, glared at us both with disapproval.  

 We worked so late that Roger retired to his chambers before us. When he was gone, Giselle turned to me, amber in the lamplight. "Do you like Ewen, Macie?" 

 "I want you to be happy. And I - I really think he is not as good for you as maybe you think."

 "Then," Giselle said slowly. "Do you think I will be happier by your side than by his?" 

 "I don't know." My throat was tight. "I know you deserve better than him, though." 

 "And that is how you truly feel?" 

 This was the biggest risk I'd taken so far. "It is." 

 Giselle circled the room, flickering between shadow and light. "I'll need to think about that." 

 "That's all I want. I couldn't live with myself if you didn't." This was the most honest thing I'd said in weeks. 

 She stilled in front of me, and stroked her chin. "Sleep may guide my thoughts. Goodnight." She left. It was then that I realised I'd been mistaken. She was taller than me. 

 I wandered the torch-lined corridors, distracted by a tremor in my heart. The further I went, the more I grasped what it was: optimism. 

 My future could be something warm, and bright. Ewen would go, and Giselle would stay. A best friend who deserves me as much as I her. A loyal servant I could trust till the end. I was lucky. 

 I'm the only one who gets to choose who the new Amacia will be. I can fashion the real her, until everyone's memories of who she is are only of me. 

 And I can be a new me, too. In this body, in this life, I can be better. 

 All because of her. Thank you, Amacia. For leaving this world.

This corridor looked darker than before. "Wait - where am I?" I whispered to myself.

 “Didn’t you notice, darling? That you're not going the right way at all? You’d think you’d know your way, after all this time.”

"Huh?" I caught only a flash of pink hair before my back slammed against the cold stone of wall. 

 Giselle pinned me with her forearm against my neck. I couldn't get free. She leaned into me, baring a flash of teeth. Her luminous green eyes now held no trace of innocence. They betrayed only malice. 

 "Where is she? And what have you done with her?!"