"Exactly who I was looking for!"

Luca blinked rapidly, looking surprised by the interruption, and looked away in the direction of the new voices.

“Elijah, it's your friends.”

Elijah sighed and counted to ten. Who else could it be? Oliver and Ben, of course. It made no difference to Elijah who got in their way, all he knew was that he regretted having friends like his. Honestly? Elijah didn't mind their presence as long as his friends didn't interrupt his time with Luca. That was something non-negotiable, for this reason, Elijah refused to let Luca move away; keeping Luca's hand on his, Elijah turned to his friends, ready to send them back where they came from:

"What do you want?”

Elijah sighed again, hearing Luca laugh at him. He held Luca's hand even tighter, and didn't complain only because Luca moments later leaned his head on his shoulder and held onto his arms, all sweet, gentle and innocent, his dark eyes radiating happiness and amusement, perhaps a certain touch of mischief.

"Where were you? You missed a test.” Ben said.

"Are you coming to the practice?" Oliver added. Both had strange smiles on their faces, keeping a certain distance from their table.

"What?”

"Looks like mosquitoes bit you. Hard night?”

Elijah just sighed, he was too tired for their little jokes.

"Elijah, man! You disappeared! You don't answer your cell anymore?”

"Whatever.”

“Ohhhh it's one of those days.” Ben said, nodding, pretending to be thinking about something serious. He even put his hand to his chin and frowned, striking a thoughtful pose.

“No, it's one of those 'baby days'. Don't you remember? A classic!”

“No! Danger, danger! We better not get close. Slowly, very slowly and without sudden movements.”

Ben grabbed Oliver's arm, and together they took three steps back, still facing them, as if they didn't want to turn their backs on a wild animal.

“You guys are unbelievable.” Elijah muttered, trying not to let the memories remind him why these moments were called "baby days".

"We just wanted to know how you were!" Oliver yelled, already pulling away. “It's good to see you again, Luca. And Elijah, make sure you show up today!”

Ben nodded, smiling, still dragging Oliver away.

"Baby days? What does that mean?” Luca said when they finally disappeared across the cafeteria, staring at him with a curious expression.

"It’s nothing.”

"Nothing?” Luca insisted. “Does this have to do with the days we used to stay at home without seeing anyone?”

"Maybe.”

Most of the time it had to do with the depression Luca was trying to hide, but other times, calm and happy, it had to do with Elijah wanting Luca's attention all to himself. It was something they didn’t know at the time, Elijah found out he had it too, a milder version, but regardless, it still was depression and by luck, it didn't develop into something more serious.

"How cute. You even have a name for it.” Luca's voice was playful, so Elijah thought it’s safe to put a hand on Luca's shoulder and pull him closer, tempted to kiss him right then and there without asking permission.

“It wasn't my idea.”

"I know. It’s funny.”

"What is funny?”

“Everyone but me saw what was going on.”

"When you say it like that, it sounds like I've played you." Elijah said, taking this off his chest, something he'd been hiding for years.

“It wasn't exactly like that. Deep down, I knew.”

“You weren't ready.”

"I wasn’t.” Luca said in a final tone with his head still resting on Elijah’s shoulder, meaning he didn't want to talk about it.

Not that they needed to, because it was obvious. He knew that if it had been up to Luca, they would never talk about it again, and he knew Luca only said those things to reassure him. The truth was that Luca had shown himself to be much stronger and more independent than he was, and that if Luca said all those things it was to make him feel better. Elijah could even imagine what else Luca had noticed and if those things had been why he needed to cross the ocean to feel safe.

"Actually. I wasn't sure." Luca said suddenly, some time later. "I... I didn't even know what was going on between us. I know that you... that you went out with other people and came back... relaxed. I didn't want to risk our friendship for something that might have been only in my head... and when... when you kissed me, I was so shocked! It was like a dream inside a nightmare, you know?"

"Nightmare?"

"I didn't know what to do or how to act! How was I supposed to take it? You just kissed me and then apologized! It seemed like you were sorry less than two minutes later!"

"Oh." Elijah frowned and tried to remember that night. "It's not what I remember."

"What do you remember?"

"The look of confusion and fear on your face. You were so tense, looking like you wanted to run away from me. The tears on your face. I tried to make things right, but it was too late. You didn't even let me speak and ran off."

"I did that?" Luca seemed sincerely shocked by his own behavior. "I... I just didn't want to see that look of disappointment on your face. I couldn't see anything beyond that."

"I understand."

The truth was that Elijah didn't understand at all. How could he be so impulsive? How could they have missed each other so much that a miscommunication almost destroyed everything, almost made him lose the person he loved the most?

Elijah put down his food and hugged Luca tightly until the feeling of loss was replaced by relief. He would never let that happen again.