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EMBARGO

The truth about my situation.

The truth about my situation.

Feb 13, 2025

(CWs: discussions around disability, housing, trauma)

TL;DR: My health has been declining every year due to constant mold exposure from my home.

Despite my efforts, I have been unable to move away due to financial issues.

As a disabled trans author facing rampant pirating issues and the increasing censorship of queer media, my earnings have been affected so much that I worry for my future.

If you enjoy my stories and can afford it, please consider reading on Patreon—I plan to post 20+ stories on there for only $5, and if enough people join, I might be able to escape this situation. Thank you so much for reading.

Longer Version:

Hi, fellow readers, this is going to be more personal than my usual posts, but I thank anyone in advance who will take the time to read this.

The truth is that I've been in a bad situation for years, I am a disabled author living in a place that makes me very sick because of mold exposure, and I've been unable to move due to financial difficulties.

I worked hard, spending as much time as I could writing books in hopes of being able to move one day. I thought I was past my biggest struggle after losing the ability to write with my hands, when I first got severe chronic hand pain—a struggle I overcame by learning how to dictate my books instead.

And recently things were looking up! I thought I would finally, finally be able to leave and make it out of this situation, but the rampant pirating of my books and the rising censorship of queer media has hurt my sales so much that I worry for my future now.

It seems if I want a chance at making it out of this situation now, I will have to work even harder to make up for these losses: and as much as I would like to, I don't know if I can physically do more than I already am.

I am very burnt out. I haven't been able to properly rest nor feel rested in years because my environment makes me ill—my health declines every year as a result, this feels like a nightmare that I will never wake from sometimes.

And my options are running out.

I have tried to find work, though I don’t think I need to explain why this is difficult with a disability.

I cannot be on disability because I don’t meet the maximum earning requirements, even if I still do not earn enough to afford a safe or healthy quality of life as a disabled trans person—I am one medical emergency from losing everything, and it is a really scary situation to be in.

I didn't ever want to talk about this publicly, I was embarrassed, so I tried to handle this alone for years—and I honestly don't know if this will change anything, it's possible this post may get buried in the algorithm—but if this continues it will significantly impact my ability to continue writing, even more so than it does now while also jeopardising my health...so I don’t think I should stay silent any longer.

If you enjoy my books, want to read more of my stories and can afford to, please consider reading on Patreon—I’m planning on posting 20+ new books on there for only $5, with more coming soon, it is the most reliable source of income for me, and if enough people join, I might be able to escape this situation.

And please, please read my books on their official sources: thank you sincerely to everyone who does, you are the reason why I am still here and able to share new books with you.

Finally…I feel it might be necessary to say this: despite everything, I do really love the work that I do. I'm not just writing for survival reasons—please don't worry about that aspect, I want to keep writing for as long as I possibly can.

But...I just hope that one day I will be able to escape this situation, heal, and publish books at a much healthier pace, so that I won't have to work through fevers and pain anymore just to survive.

Thank you for listening, for being here and for your readership—and I'm sorry for the heaviness of this post—I hope you're all doing well and keeping safe, take care.❤

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beauvandalen
Beau Van Dalen

Creator

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/beaustories

Comments (2)

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Saezuru70
Saezuru70

Top comment

I'm so sorry you're going through this 💔 I wish I could support you on Patreon but I live in a country with an almost worthless currency. I hope things turn around for you this year and you're able to find somewhere safe and healthy to live 🤗

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The truth about my situation.

The truth about my situation.

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