“I’m leaving,” Matteo muttered weakly before leaving the house.

He took one last look at his father's figure sitting on the couch, ignoring him while reading the newspaper, and opened the door. Matteo didn't even wait for a greeting in return, knowing he wouldn't get one. Not that he cared, he had come there to get some books and a change of clothes, and if that was the way Leonel was going to continue to treat him... it was better that way, because things were only going to get worse. After that lunch with Derek, or rather, after he decided to ignore Diego's calls, the vow of silence had begun. However, it was only when the gifts, money and unwanted appearances started to appear that things became truly uncomfortable. That is, gifts from Derek and Diego, both competing to see who was the best.

Yes, it seemed that was how things would be. If he didn’t stay too long inside that house, he wouldn’t have to see them and that way, everything would be fine. And if he didn’t stay at home, Maria wouldn’t have to take sides and Alessia wouldn’t have to fight with Leonel, but… but it was all right. Blake and Allison were helping him, the siblings had a spare room and they didn’t demand anything from Matteo. Yes, it was the best thing to do, he kept telling himself; in the end, everything would be fine. The good news was that Matteo had left plenty of clothes at their house and he wouldn’t have to go back for a few days.

"Matteo!" Matteo's soul nearly jumped out of his body at the shrill scream. Alessia came running down the stairs toward him, her face distressed and angry, determined as ever.

"Where have you been all week! We've been so worried.”

She was a true angel. Matteo let Alessia's short arms wrap tightly around his waist and returned the gesture, barely realizing how much he missed her.

"I'm not welcome here." Matteo confessed.

"That’s not true! Mom and Bianca miss you. Even Ben asked about you.”

"It's better this way." He said, "You don't have to fight over me.”

"No, I refuse. You're not leaving!”

"Honey, I have to work.”

Matteo looked at her and smiled, even though he was crying a little. He missed Alessia so much that he almost gave in to the temptation to stay. He missed his mother too, and the nights watching movies with his brothers.”

"Why, right now? What changed that made you abandon me?" Alessia pouted cutely and tears fell from her golden eyes. The worst part was that she was right.

For the first time in his life, Matteo had accepted someone's help and gone to the psychiatrist that Derek had recommended, as well as the psychologist, both community doctors. The truth is that the doctors he had seen before had not been a good experience, but Matteo had talked a lot with them, learning that moving away from what was hurting him was essential, even if it was slow, and having a support network was even more important. He had also decided that he would no longer lie and that he would face his problems head on, and he would never, ever again be ashamed or feel guilty for thinking of himself first.

"I'm going to a psychiatrist. She prescribed me a weaker sedative and advised me to seek a healthier environment.”

“Oh,” she murmured. “I understand. I’m… I’m happy for you.” But now she was crying for real, silent tears streaming down her dark face. “You’ll come back to visit, won’t you?”

"I'm not leaving. I just need some distance. When you need me, just call me and I'll come running.”

"Do you promise?”

"I promise." Matteo said to her and hugged her tightly.

"Can I go with you?”

"Where?”

"Work, of course." She said as if it were obvious.

And you know what? He shrugged, Derek probably wouldn't mind.

Matteo took Alessia's hand and guided her to the bus stop.

***

Matteo rang the bell and held Alessia's hand, counting the seconds. The door opened quickly and, as usual, it was Derek who came to greet him, always with a big smile and an affectionate hug.

Of course, it hadn't always been like this, the important thing was that in the last few days a simple "hello" had turned into something more, something that required physical contact and was as easy as breathing. He just wanted things to stop there. You know when you think it's going to rain a little and instead a flood destroys your house? That was exactly how Matteo felt, all the presents, tight hugs and soft smiles weren't good for his heart. Or the money that had mysteriously appeared in his bank account, so many zeros that Matteo didn't even know how to count them and that seemed to increase every day he looked at it.

"You know you don't have to rin-- Alessia! What are you doing here?" Derek said, opening the door completely and allowing them access to the entrance chamber. Derek crossed his arms and made a face, but Matteo knew it was a joke, because soon after Derek bent down and hugged Alessia, ruffling her hair.

"She came with me today, I hope that's okay.”

"Yeah, no problem." Derek said and turned to him.

Holding his shoulders, Derek looked him straight in the eyes and then moved them from his feet to his head, and only then hugged him tightly, tighter and longer than would be appropriate.

"You look much better. The kids will love to see you." Derek said in the middle of the hug, his voice whispered against his earlobe.

Matteo could only nod, the words he was about to say disappearing without being pronounced, like, why he found so much money in his account when he went to get money to buy a book and why so many gifts. He just wanted to understand what was going on between them. Or what could still happen. What really made him understand how screwed he was was finding himself surrounded by Derek's arms, realizing how much he had missed him this past week, the week he had asked for time off. It was the only way to get his life together and try to build something to motivate him to continue.

One of Derek's hands held him by the back of the neck and the other came to rest on the small of his back, making him feel welcome and safe. When Derek finally let go, Alessia and Derek had identical smiles on their faces, which made him deeply uncomfortable, as if they knew something Matteo didn't.

"Come on, the kids are already at the table." Derek told him.

Derek touched his hand hesitantly, as if expecting to be rejected, but when Matteo did nothing to stop him, Derek gently guided him as he stroked his fingers. However, Matteo didn't have time to enjoy the feeling of Derek's touch on his skin, because there was the Moore family; Alice sitting next to Logan, Sofia at the farthest point from everyone while Derek sat in the center, with him and Alessia seating them next to him and across from the children. The funny thing was that instead of asking the cook or the housekeeper to get more dishes, Derek himself stood up.

"There's always room for one more in this house." Derek placed the cutlery, plates and glasses as the housekeeper had taught them and straightened his spine. Derek puffed out his chest and cocked his head in a comical gesture, looking really proud of his work.

"So, what brings your sister here?”

"I--” Of course Matteo didn't get the chance to finish.

"I had to ambush Matteo in the morning!" Alessia practically slammed her hands on the table, exactly like Leonel would do, all irritated and offended.

“Oh, really?” Was all Derek said, his easy smile seeming to calm her.

"Matteo… Matteo hadn’t been home for over a week! I was so worried! No one knew where he had gone, not Mom, Leonel, Bianca. Not even Jack and Cecil! It was like he had disappeared off the map!”

"Hmm, and how did that happen?”

But this time, Derek wasn’t asking Alessia that question. No, he was looking at Matteo as he lifted the wine glass to his lips. One corner of his mouth lifted and he leaned back against the back of his chair, looking Matteo over once more from head to toe.

"Could this have anything to do with some recent changes? I wonder what it could be…" Derek said again, in that mix of joking and mocking that only he could do.

“Okay,” Matteo said, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. “I went to the psychiatrist, okay? She referred me to a psychologist too.”

"I'm glad." Derek said then, contentedly. The smile that reached his eyes said much more. “Did you like it?”

“Like isn’t the word I’d use,” Matteo found himself saying, feeling his face heat up, that urge to hide stronger than his sense of pride. “It’s helping. I guess I needed to hear certain things, from a neutral perspective, you know?”

“I know!” What surprised him wasn’t that someone agreed with him, but that it was Logan who had said it. Alice nodded, seeming to flinch when the attention turned to them. “Dad put us in therapy after you had your panic attack. It’s so cool! He listens to me and jokes with me, just like you do, Matteo!”

He smiled at Logan and Alice, but for some reason he felt like crying. Matteo didn't cry, of course, it would be too much drama for such an early morning, he just looked at Derek suspiciously.

Derek shrugged.

"My parents never worried about that kind of thing. I wanted to make sure that… everything was as it should be." Derek muttered, a strange, self-deprecating smile forming.

Matteo was so proud! To show his approval, he held Derek's hand and smiled at him. Derek didn't know how much trouble he was saving himself with this. Derek only did this because the children must have been traumatized, but it showed that Derek cared about their well-being, not just their physical well-being, but their mental well-being as well. The problem was that Derek turned his hand against his and intertwined their fingers, making him feel that warm feeling in his heart, and maybe somewhere else too. When that happened, he tended to forget everything else.

It was at that moment that Matteo heard a throat clearing.

Sofia pushed her chair back and stood up, knocking it over as she went. She crossed her arms and approached them, circling behind each one sitting at the table, as if she was about to attack.

"Who gave you permission to do this to my children? Is this how you raise them? And letting just anyone come into my house?”

If he didn't know who Sofia was or what the purpose behind those words was, Matteo would be offended. Alessia, who didn't know what was happening, didn't have the same reaction. She stood up and, just as aggressively as Sofia, lifted her chin, taking a step towards her.

Fortunately, Matteo acted faster. He grabbed her arm and sent her a look, which was enough for Alessia to sit back down, not at all happy with the situation.

"Is this house still yours?" Surprised, Matteo heard Logan say once more. "If you don’t live here, is it still yours?”

Derek frowned and Sofia paled. If Matteo hadn't been paying so much attention he would have missed the moment Sofia gasped and took a step back in shock. Derek was too focused on Logan, Alice was looking down in sadness, and Alessia had looked away in a huff. He could only watch as Sofia took another step back and another, disappearing up the stairs without a word.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to bring Alessia there.