Exhaustion is taking its toll on me. It's 2:30, and the date's 10/10/2017. But I can't seem to catch any sleep.

My eyes stay anchored to the ceiling, but finally, I can't take it anymore. I have to get out of here.

I prep myself as I sit on the edge of my bed.

My brother's a heavy sleeper. His bed is on one side of the door, mine on the other.

Usually, he'd be fast asleep; this time, however, he's gone.

"What? Where could he be?"

Now I have to get up to look for my brother. He's probably on the balcony, drinking a glass of water and thinking about life.

Then I hear something: the balcony door sliding shut.

My brother Nathan is just standing there in the dimly lit living room, his glass of water sitting on the table right next to him.

"You're going to catch a cold one of these days."

I can already sense him smiling. Oh yes, there it is.

It felt good to see him smile. Times were tough, especially when our parents died.

The car was burning. And the nightmares still won't stop.

But when I see him, everything changes. The colors of life return, and the bird's songs turn into a beautiful lullaby. 

"Relax, I'm fine, Ethan. Why are you awake, anyway?"

Nathan's right. Why am I awake right now?

"Couldn't sleep anymore. I was tossing and turning in bed until I had enough."

Nate's gaze scans my face. It's always nice to have someone as empathic as him.

He doesn't deserve the pain. We were two orphans who were adopted by our aunt.

"You wanna see my sketchbook?"

It's been a while since he last showed me his sketchbook, so why not?

I'm amazed; he always had a thing for art. That's how he met Rachel. Rachel is a beautiful girl with long ginger-colored hair. She has hazel eyes and always carries her small backpack on her back.

They met in art class, and they've been inseparable ever since—best friends for life. I'm still unsure, though. Does Nathan have feelings for her? I mean, how could he not? Rachel's an angel, as she slipped through the fingers of heaven. Their friends are dying to see them together, and it's always hilarious to watch their reactions when something cute happens between them. They can't contain themselves.

"So? What do you think?" His question snaps me back to reality.

"Nate, wow. This is amazing. Since when did you get so good?"

The word baffled wouldn't be enough to describe this feeling.

I'm so proud of him. He's such a talented artist.

"We should go back to sleep, Nate. You look tired."

I'm more than ready for some good sleep. My bedsheets always make me feel warm and safe.

The door handle is cold against my hand. As I push it down, I can already see and feel my bed. 

My gaze shifts to my bedside table. sleeping pills. I hate these things, but I have to take them. Otherwise, sleep won't be around the corner.

 Sleep pulls me into its embrace. The next thing I knew was the sunlight creeping through our blinds, casting soft lines across my blanket. My body feels heavy, and my mind is groggy. I blink a few times, adjusting to the daylight. I can hear distant muffled voices and footsteps. I just lie there, reality tugging at my body. I have to get up. It's a new day.

As I step into the living room. The scent of fresh eggs and bacon infiltrates my nose. 

I love Jenna's breakfast; she is the best aunt ever.  

Intentionally, I grab the picture of my parents' anniversary. 

"Mom, I miss you. You should be here, you know?"

My hands put the picture back in its place as I walk over to the dining table. 

"There you are. Sleepy head, come here." Jenna's walking towards me, her arms engulfing me in her tight and loving embrace.

Her hair smells like flowers. She is mesmerized by roses. Jenna is my idol; she always will be.

I love Jenna for who she is. 

"There you are. Finally, you're awake. Finish your breakfast and meet me at the door." A smile crept up on his face. "Rachel will be here in 5 minutes; we wanna hang out, so you should be there too." Suddenly, Nathan's face lit up with happiness. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Julia's coming along as well. Don't worry; she's amazing. I'm sure you'll get along easily.

Julia? never heard of her. It scares me to meet new people. But I trust Nathan, I bet she's amazing

Jenna's breakfast is the best. the running yolk and the savory bacon. My taste buds were mesmerized.

Then I heard a faint knock in the distance. 

"Don't worry, Ethan, I'll clean the dishes for you." Jenna smiles. "Wash your face and have fun."

I hurry to the bathroom, making sure I don't trip over my own feet. I don't want to be rude and keep them waiting too long.

Shit, do I look okay?

I stare at myself in the mirror.

Will Nexus even consider me?

No, I can't think about this right now. I focus on washing my face, scrubbing away every speck of dirt. The towel I grab has little flower patches on it. Cute.

"Hurry up, Ethan!" Jenna's soft voice calls out.

I'm shaking.

Am I good enough? Do I look okay? What if—No. I have to leave this bathroom.

I turn toward the door, fidgeting with my hands as I step out. And there they are.

Shit, I can't do this. My body moves on its own, pressing against the doorway, half hidden from sight.

My gaze shifts to the ceiling. Why am I this nervous?

"Ethan, what are you doing? Don't keep them waiting."

Jenna stands right beside me, watching me closely.

"Come on, Ethan. Don't be so nervous," she whispers.

She's right. I can't stay here forever.

My feet move across the wooden floor, and the moment I reach them, my heart drops. They're gorgeous—both of them.

"Hi,— I-I'm Ethan." I stumble over my words.

"Hey, Ethan, I'm Julia Greenes. It's so nice to meet you."

Nathan's footsteps echo behind me. The buttons of his jacket clink against the metal hook as he takes it down.

Now, we're walking to the park. My head stays bowed, my steps automatic—like I'm on autopilot, completely oblivious to my surroundings until we arrive.

The park is magnificent. If it weren't for my mental state, I'd say it looks even more beautiful than ever.

The wind howls, leaves drift down from the trees, and birds soar into the distance. And here I am, lost. As if the people around me don't exist. As if I don't exist.

"Ethan-Ethan, earth to Ethan." Fingers snapped, pulling me back into reality.

For a second, it felt like I was gone. But I'm here now.

"Yes, I'm here, sorry."

Julia is more beautiful than ever, her dress only enhancing her features.

Should I talk to her? No, I'd screw it up. But what if I at least tried? I'm just gonna—

"So, what do you like to do, Ethan?" My thoughts are suddenly interrupted.

"Poetry, I guess. What about you?"

Should I have said that?

My cheeks heat up, turning a deeper shade of red. Am I blushing?! Dang it, not now—please. 

I'm waiting. I didn't know seconds could feel so prolonged.

"Poetry is so beautiful. Have you been writing for a while?"

I cleared my voice. "Yeah, I started when I was 16." 

I'm still not sure. Should I? You know what, screw it!

My hands were patting my pockets, searching for a note.

There it is—the note I handed over contains a poem. My first poem. It was a stormy night that inspired me to try what would now become my hobby.

I wonder what's going through her head. Does she like it?

The suspense is killing me. Why am I holding my breath?

"Ethan- this is beautiful. wow."

Yes, she likes it. Perfect. 

"Your-" No, I can't. What was I thinking? That was a close call; hopefully, she didn't notice it.

Suddenly, a guy approached Julia. 

"Julia, is it you?" Julia scoffed, annoyed by his presence. "What do you want?"

By the look on her face, Julia wasn't amused. I could sense hurt, maybe even betrayal. But one thing was for sure. They had some history, one that wasn't pretty.

His hands touched her, pulling her in. Julia is uncomfortable; I can feel it. I have to step in.

"Leave her the fuck alone!" I shouted, clenching my fists

"And who are you?" Confusion struck his face, with a hint of slight anger and irritation.

"None of your fucking business."  I'm stupid, but I don't care, not right now. I have to do something.

Then he did it—he pulled her in. Julia tries to fight him off, her head jerking away from him. But he kissed her cheek.

This fucker. I let it come too far; I have to do it now.

Before I knew it, my fist connected with his jaw. Anger strikes his face. He's charging towards me, his punches striking my body.

I'm afraid, but I don't care. It hurts, but I don't care. I did it, I saved her.

"Who do you think you are?! You think you're tough or something?"

I dodged his punch, my knee bursting into his stomach. My hands lost their control. It feels like something snapped inside of me. I punched and kicked his body, not caring about the damage it would cause. 

I did it, he was unconscious. What have I done? I'm sorry.

Exhaustion took over, and my sight was getting blurrier.

I feel disgusted yet so powerful. What have I done?

Before I knew it, all I could see was black. Before the lights went out.

I'm sorry.