Annelly 

“Trust, remember? Can you give me a little more trust?”

I hear the words, but it’s what I see in his eyes that calls to me. Those crystal blues reflect my pain as if he can feel the secrets I’m struggling to keep buried. How is it possible that his presence alone makes me feel safe? The way he speaks, it’s like he instinctively knows what I need, his every word somehow plugging up the holes of my sinking ship. For the first time in months, I feel the faintest glimmer of hope that everything’s going to work out, which must be why everything inside me is screaming at me to cling to it—to him—with everything I’ve got. 

“I’ll try…” I say softly, wishing it were that easy. Deep down, I do want to trust him, but that persistent voice in my head won’t stop whispering all the reasons I shouldn’t. Still, the practical part of me—the terrified part—wants to tell him everything. To cleanse myself of the secrets weighing me down. The need made all the more intense by those blue eyes that beg for another chance. 

But how do I expose my greatest shame to this man? The one who told me, in no uncertain terms, he doesn’t want me in his life. The one who shamed me for falling for him before cutting me out of his life and sending me away. It’s no wonder why his words from that day resurface now, echoing in my mind with cruel clarity. 

It was the morning after I’d seen him kissing another girl outside Souder’s bar. The day he shattered my heart:

“Annelly…” His voice was rough, strained as he cleared his throat. He couldn’t even look at me, his eyes fixed somewhere over my shoulder, and I knew—whatever he was about to say, it wasn’t good. “We need to talk about last night. I’m sorry if what you saw upset you.” He let out a loud exhale, the kind that felt like he was summoning every ounce of courage just to keep going. “Somewhere along the way, I gave you the impression I could offer you more than I have to give, and for that, I’m sorry.”

Indignant. That’s how he sounded. As though he were the one who had been wronged. It didn’t make any sense. His voice was laced with exhaustion too, the dark circles under his eyes evidence that he hadn’t slept.  

He was there, standing on my doorstep at six in the morning, and all I could think about was her. The girl outside the bar. The girl he’d been kissing. The thought that he might have spent the night with her only twisted the knife further and sent a sick feeling churning in my stomach. It almost hurt to breathe.

But I couldn’t let it show. 

I’d already embarrassed myself enough.

“It’s fine, James.” The words came out stiff, the forced smile on my face barely concealing the storm brewing inside me. But given the circumstances, I knew I had to try. “You didn’t have to knock on my door at six in the morning to tell me all that. I know we’re just friends. You don’t owe me any explanations.”

When he sighed and dragged a hand roughly through his hair, I braced myself. I could feel it coming—the blow he was about to deliver—and suddenly it was like the ground beneath me had fallen away.

“You’re right, but that’s just it. It feels like I do. And that right there is the problem.” His brow furrowed, and his tone shifted to a firmer, sharper one that caught me by surprise and left me stunned. “I don’t live my life questioning my choices or apologizing for who I am or what I do because everything I do has a purpose. It fulfills me in some way. And what happened last night made me realize that keeping you in my life means I have to change… I don’t want to change. I don’t. I like my life just the way it is. And if who I am puts that sad look in your eyes, then I’m sorry. I think it’s best we end whatever this is.” 

He gestured between us, the weight of his words punctuated by the disgust etched into his expression. “I care about you, Annelly. That’s how I know there’s no place for someone like me in your life—or for someone like you in mine.” 

His voice cracked slightly at the end, and for the briefest moment, his eyes reflected something other than anger. But the mix of emotions in his gaze was too fleeting, too muddled for me to decipher. The words landed between us like a grenade, the damage instant and irreversible. 

I stood there, staring at him, tears welling in my eyes as my heart bled inside me. Dumbfounded. Shattered. I clung to the hope that he’d take it back, that he’d say something that finally made sense. But when he spoke again, it was to twist the knife even deeper into my chest. 

“Pack your stuff and go back to school. That’s where your life is. That’s where you belong.”

Those were his last words before he turned his back on me, walking away as if the friendship we shared meant nothing to him. 

“I’ll try to trust you. But you’ll need you to tell me how?” My voice is a mix of frustration and anguish, breaking on a half-sob as the weight of everything that’s happened finally crashes over me. “After everything you did, everything you said. How do I get past it, James?” My chin trembles as I force myself to say the words I’ve held inside for far too long. “You hurt me. Humiliated me. Walked away like I never mattered after treating me like some silly schoolgirl with a crush. You made me feel like a friendship with me was this huge burden you didn’t want. Like I was a burden you didn’t want. How am I supposed to forget all of that?”

A loud, guttural growl erupts from him, and he releases my face as though the intensity of my words burns him. Turning away, he paces a few steps, his hand dragging roughly through his hair. The tension radiates off him in waves, and I swear I can see his turmoil rippling under his skin. When he finally turns back to face me, his hands drop to his waist, his posture both defensive and defeated. He just… stares at me. A look of regret gleams in his eyes, before he briefly shakes his head, glances up toward the ceiling, and lets out a long, ragged breath. 

“I fucked up, Annelly.” His voice is raw, the vulnerability in his tone stealing the air from my lungs. When his eyes meet mine again, they’re filled with pain so tangible it makes my chest ache. “I knew it the moment the words were out of my mouth, and I’ve regretted them every day since. You were never a burden. It was me… I was the problem.”

He swallows hard, his gaze flickering away for a moment, as though ashamed to look at me. “I felt guilty for hurting you that night. And after spending so much of my life avoiding feelings like guilt and regret, I couldn’t handle it. I freaked out. I’m not good at dealing with hard emotions, and instead of addressing that, instead of processing what I was feeling and why, I blamed you. It’s why I pushed you away.” He pauses, his shoulders slumping as though the weight of his confession is too much to bear. His eyes drop to the floor, his jaw tightening like he’s wrestling with those same emotions now. 

“I’ve spent the past six months trying to figure out how to fix what I broke. Because I miss my friend, Annelly.” His voice softens, the words laced with a quiet desperation. “I miss you.” 

He shrugs, his hands falling limply to his sides as a pained expression flickers across his face. Unable to hold my gaze any longer, he turns his back to me, as if hiding the rawness of his emotions might make them easier to endure. 

As hard as it is to see him like this—his heart laid bare—there’s a part of me that needs it. I need to see beneath his mask, past the unshakable, unfeeling exterior that once led me to believe it was so easy for him to walk away. I need to see his pain, his regret, to know if what he’s saying is genuine and not something he’ll later accuse me of imagining. It’s this need that propels me forward, my feet moving on their own until I’m standing right behind him. Tentatively, I reach out and tug on his arm, a silent insistence that he turn to face me. 

When he does, I see the flicker of hesitation in his eyes, the way his body leans toward mine as if he’s about to reach for me. But at the last second, he pulls back, shoving his hands into his pockets like he’s physically restraining himself. 

“That morning,” he begins, his voice thick with emotion. “I told you I liked my life the way it was and didn’t want to change. I thought it was true. But after you left—after losing you—I realized that for you, I’d do it. For a chance at getting my friend back, I’d gladly change.”

His eyes search mine, pleading for me to understand. “I want you back in my life, Annelly. I know asking you to trust me after the way I hurt you is a big ask, but please… give me this one chance to be there for you. I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to not let you down this time.”

Want to read ahead? The next 2 Chapters are available FREE if you FOLLOW ME on REAM!!! (https://reamstories.com/arianaclarkauthor)

Please remember to like, comment, & review. For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NEW CHAPTERS post at 3:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Thursdays!!!